Intimacy: Sucker

Sucker

By BadIdea - 01/03/2012 21:23 - France

Today, I decided to shave my balls. When I was finished, I vacuumed up the mess on the carpet, and then the fragments of hair still on my balls. Very bad idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 286

You deserved it 59 665

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Same thing different taste

By davetherave1983 - 09/09/2015 05:09 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, after carefully, and might I say, expertly removing all the hair from my girlfriend's genitals, she decided to try and "Nair" my balls. 24 hours later and I still can't walk properly and my balls look like they were involved in a severe kitchen incident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 902

You deserved it 5 205

Bad ********

By testacular - 25/03/2014 21:20 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, due to a combination of boredom and a faulty hair dryer, I now have singed pubes and burned balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 662

You deserved it 55 830

By DoseyGit - 24/01/2017 08:00

Today, while brushing my teeth I noticed a hair in the sink. Running the scenario over in my mind, I was going to simultaneously spit into the sink and throw the hair on the floor. Creating a big ball of phlegm, I threw the hair back into the sink and launched a huge mouthful onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 076

You deserved it 2 957

By Anonymous - 24/02/2013 19:58 - United States - Everett

Today, while I was shaving my nether regions, my trimmer slipped and ate a chunk out of my balls, right beside a vein. I've been bleeding on and off for an hour, and the New Skin I tried isn't able to dry quickly enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 249

You deserved it 8 735

Proper job

By So so close to clean - 08/02/2017 10:00 - United States - Warren

Today, with words of encouragement from my mom, I vacuumed my room. After finishing and admiring my job well done, I went to put the vacuum away. It caught on the plug for my electric razor which was dangling below the dresser and yanked that and everything else that was on top of it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 414

You deserved it 1 292

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 040

You deserved it 6 802

Drunken rampage

By Anonymous - 01/08/2011 21:47 - United States

Today, at some point, and for some reason I'll probably never fully understand, it seemed like a good idea to get completely shitfaced on tequila and try to shave my ballsack with a straight razor. I'm not sure if these wounds will ever heal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 996

You deserved it 71 781

By Anonymous - 11/12/2009 21:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I was shaving my underarms, when I heard a noise. I quickly turned my head to see what it was and got the razor caught in my hair. I'm now sporting a very attractive bald patch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 860

You deserved it 8 410

No need for a reason

By Anonymous - 27/06/2021 04:01

Today, as I was bent over drying my legs after a shower, my girlfriend snuck behind me and pulled a hair off my ballsack for absolutely no good reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 987

You deserved it 221

By FutureMarine3658 - 08/08/2012 14:00 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, out of habit, after scratching my balls, I then smelt my hand. It was at that moment I realized most of my gym was staring at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 438

You deserved it 50 525

jsprackman 11

Friday 2 March 2012 0:14

Genius

BunnySlippers 6

Friday 2 March 2012 0:14

Lol. Why would you put a vaccum even CLOSE to your balls?

Comments

KRiddle 15

Friday 2 March 2012 0:19

I laughed, I'm sorry.

Heinousness 0

Friday 2 March 2012 0:19

Ouch!!!!!!!!!

DontForgetMe4 0

Friday 2 March 2012 0:19

first of all, carpet?! second, that mental image made me laugh SO hard I almost cried.

Heinousness 0

Friday 2 March 2012 1:28

I agree. I was about to pass out from lack of breath( for the second time today when I read an FML)

nadnerbz 6

Friday 2 March 2012 0:20

I guess your girlfriend isn't the only thing that sucks stuff down there.

marinus_fml 19

Friday 2 March 2012 0:21

Hahaha he lost his virginity to a vacuum cleaner sucking him off!

Honda288 2

Friday 2 March 2012 4:59

More like the vacuum cleaner made him sterile.

craZgal321 6

Monday 26 March 2012 5:59

^^ it never said hes a virgin...

ilove80smetal 8

Friday 2 March 2012 0:21

Cause you needed some right? :P

insertnameherr 11

Friday 2 March 2012 0:21

That, kind sir, is a well thought out idea.

LVblondie 3

Friday 2 March 2012 5:11

Hahaha :D I agree, very thought out, it seems :P

CaptainSlow 2

Friday 2 March 2012 8:00

I read your comment in Morgan Freeman's voice. Thank you.

Fmeonce_shameonu 15

Friday 2 March 2012 0:24

Pssh who shaves their balls, that was so 2005. Right? Or am I the only one bringing this back..

Enslaved 36

Friday 2 March 2012 0:27

Lots of guys do. Nothing like that skin on skin feel.

GoW_Chick 14

Friday 2 March 2012 1:54

I think you might be the only one.

Fmeonce_shameonu 15

Friday 2 March 2012 2:27

Okay. Sorry, it was terrible joke. I'm definitely on the clean cut band wagon. If you don't believe me send me your digits and I'll Brett Favre you the proof.