Pregnancy, Awkward, Thief and Miscellaneous: Surprise ! - FML

Surprise !

By kelsey - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, someone stole my phone at a concert. They apparently thought it would be funny to text my mom saying I was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 635

You deserved it 5 090

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

dickinabox 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:08

CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING PREGNANT, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!

jayfx 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:04

LOL

Comments

jagman234 0

Saturday 16 May 2009 20:48

that sucks

dannyboy08796 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 22:10

Hahaha what did your mom say

Stephai 0

Thursday 11 June 2009 11:32

It'd be funny if it was true.

bethanyl507 0

Thursday 12 November 2009 6:29

did your mom believe you?

aussie827 0

Monday 1 March 2010 9:34

SHIT THAT WAS YOU!?!?!?

MDNL 0

Friday 5 March 2010 17:46

that sux! lol

emdre 0

Monday 8 March 2010 8:22

they were right that IS funny

Efilyn 0

Friday 2 April 2010 19:24

So was your Mom's contact name Mom? If so...

dirtyrussian97 0

Thursday 24 June 2010 5:55

Kelsey: this is your mom. I just want you to know that if you are pregnant, we are getting an abortion tomorrow and you are being disowned. You are getting nothing in the will, as well. Oh, and by the way, the picture of the boy is the person I'm leaving your father for tomorrow. Love you.

iizcalebhearmero 0

Friday 8 April 2011 7:26

seems like its a bigger problem your phone got stolen. just tell her the truth. 

3
4
5
6
7
8

Keywords

Holidays Toxic Family Christmas Love Coworkers AITA Furniture Miscellaneous Parents Sex Intimacy Lonely Relatable Money Health Kids Television Roommate Amazon You're fired Work Cheating Computers Anger issues Mental health Dentist Painful I need your advice Am I overreacting?

The Top

Today, it started pouring while I was in the middle of a pizza delivery. I had to stand out in the rain for ten minutes while an old redneck dude wearing nothing but camo boxers fumbled around for the exact change to pay the bill. I think seeing his junk was supposed to count as my tip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 793

You deserved it 3 231

Today, I took my 8 year-old daughter to an airplane museum to show her the kinds of aircraft I’ve worked on during my 30+ year career. In the first 15 minutes, I had grease on my new shirt, bumped my head, spilled coffee and cut my hand. Sums up my career. Only 10 more years to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 472

You deserved it 237

The Top

Today, my husband refused to let our 7-week-old daughter have a pacifier, because he doesn't want her growing up to be a "whore." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 851

You deserved it 4 883

Today, while writing a midterm, my period came unexpectedly. Too bad my male professor was the one to notice and not me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 987

You deserved it 186

Today, I lost my third phone in a year, making it a grand total of 11 telephones lost or stolen in the past 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 963

You deserved it 31 573

Today, my date made me pay him for picking me up, and taking me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 368

You deserved it 3 747

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 230

You deserved it 41 627

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said, "Is your dad home?" I replied, "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says, "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 357

You deserved it 42 743