Pregnancy, Awkward, Thief and Miscellaneous: Surprise !

haha that's genious. I need to remember that one for when I find a phone. Seriously, you can explain the whole thing to your mom anyway, and there are enough ways to prove you aren't pregnant.

th3wh1tee 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:22

This would have sucked if ironically you were actually pregnant though.

Keywords

Toxic Family Christmas Holidays AITA Love Coworkers Furniture Miscellaneous Sex Intimacy Parents Lonely Relatable Kids Money Health Television Roommate Amazon Work You're fired Cheating Computers Mental health Anger issues Dentist Painful I need your advice Am I overreacting?

The Top

Today, I'm all alone for the holidays. The guy I was kicking it with ghosted me. I went to the guy I rejected for being too overweight for my taste, and not only has he lost weight, he now has a girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 1 000

Today, my college class has a strict rule that ANY absence, even if it's because you're sick and have a doctor's note, will drop your grade a letter grade. I have a chronic illness. Today is the second time in the first two weeks that I've had to show up to class with a bucket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 568

You deserved it 205

The Top

Today, at work, my husband came in and brought me flowers and a card for our anniversary. I opened the card to find a condom. I ran over and closed the door and we immediately got at it in the middle of my office. Halfway through, I realized I have been laying on the intercom button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 241

You deserved it 37 135

Today, my father came to my sister's place and yelled at her, "I knew it, you're such a whore!" because she slept with her new boyfriend. He's her first boyfriend in five years, since my father scared her previous boyfriend because of my father's possessive behavior. My sister is 34. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 932

You deserved it 116

Today, I realized that the only thing that relieves my chronic facial pain is vaping CBD. I previously was very vocal about how much I hate smoking and vaping. My kids think I'm a hypocrite. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 1 026

Today, I caught my son trying to punch his own teeth out so he'd get more money from the tooth fairy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 057

You deserved it 3 669

Today, I'm 36 and accidentally got pregnant with my FWB, a 28 year-old bartender. I told him and he broke down and admitted he’s actually only 19, an unemployed college dropout who lives with his parents. I didn’t believe it until I saw his driver's license, date of birth 2004. So much for child support… FML

I agree, your life sucks 199

You deserved it 988

Today, on the first day of 2024, I, a healthy 32 year-old, woke up to find I not only pissed the bed, but also shat myself in my sleep. I have no idea what I ate to cause this, nor how I didn't wake up when it was happening. This new year is literally off to a shit start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 144