Pregnancy, Awkward, Thief and Miscellaneous: Surprise ! - FML

Surprise !

By kelsey - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, someone stole my phone at a concert. They apparently thought it would be funny to text my mom saying I was pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 635

You deserved it 5 090

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Top comments

dickinabox 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:08

CONGRATULATIONS ON BEING PREGNANT, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU!

jayfx 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 23:04

LOL

Comments

Tomato_Cheese 22

Tuesday 1 December 2015 23:11

Passcode?

Chazzster 28

Friday 28 July 2023 22:19

Just how did the thief know your phone password? Either you somehow neglected to have taken that most basic precaution or it was a “friend” who stole your phone and had previously observed your password. If it’s an iPhone you might be able to use the “find my iPhone” and locate it - Ask Apple for help in that case.

Keywords

Holidays Family Christmas Toxic Love AITA Coworkers Miscellaneous Furniture Parents Sex Intimacy Lonely Relatable Health Money Kids Television Roommate Amazon You're fired Work Cheating Computers Anger issues Mental health Painful Dentist I need your advice Am I overreacting?

The Top

Today, we had movers come in to take all of our stuff as the final step to our move to the States. We have our flight scheduled for tomorrow evening. Thing is, they accidentally took my carry-on bag without my knowledge. In that carry-on there was a little something called a passport. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 069

You deserved it 3 392

Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me, demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 335

You deserved it 19 742

The Top

Today, I gave my boyfriend a blowjob for the first time. He came. A lot. I doubt I'll remember it as anything other than, "The day I found out what sneezing semen feels like." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 461

You deserved it 4 135

Today, my toddler shat on her carpet again. She also decided to play in it. This is the third time in a month. She's fully potty trained, and thinks it’s funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 600

You deserved it 332

Today, I was reading the seventh Harry Potter book at an airport. A woman asked me what I was reading, so I told her. She said, "Oh, so you have children?" Since I'm in my early twenties, I was taken aback and said no. She replied slower and louder, "Oh, so you have a childlike mind?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 135

You deserved it 357

Today, I got my first tattoo. It was a surprise for my fiancé: our names together over a heart. I went home but before I could show him, he said we had to have a 'talk.' Now my ex's name is tattooed on my back. The kicker? Turns out I'm allergic to the ink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 896

You deserved it 76 933

Today, I walked into a public toilet and I opened a stall door, only to discover someone who had forgotten to lock the door sitting on the can. Instead of saying "Sorry," I panicked and said, "Nice shoes!" I then had to wait until they left because I was too embarrassed to face them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 322

You deserved it 168

Today, I had a dream in which I was having a panic attack. When I woke up, I was actually having a panic attack. Double the fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 912

You deserved it 114