Work: Suspect

Suspect

By worldsbestjobgonebad - 19/10/2009 06:08 - Canada

Today, I was walking home from my acting gig at a haunted hayride. Even after spending lots of time washing the fake blood off my hands and face, I looked like I'd murdered someone. Perhaps that's why an officer stopped me and questioned me about a stabbing that happened earlier tonight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 060

You deserved it 4 145

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Same thing different taste

Fingered

By Anonymous - 13/04/2024 21:00 - United States

Today, I got questioned by the police. Last night I was at a party when a bully of a kid who happened to be an aspiring MMA coach and local fighter was picking on me, stole my alcohol and threw me out of the party. I heard he got stabbed by someone else he was picking on after I left. The police insist it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 107

By Anonymous - 13/06/2015 15:47 - United States - Cabot

Today, I started my new job at a haunted house. I figured I'd change clothes when I got home, since my bloody shirt and zombie makeup were blatantly just an outfit. I barely made it 10 minutes before I was pinned to the ground at gunpoint, cuffed, and needing new underwear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 261

You deserved it 2 892

Leg it

By BobbyHutchinson - 20/10/2009 15:57 - Australia

Today, someone tried to mug me. I panicked and ran. As they chased me with their knife out, I heard a slip and a shout behind me but kept running. Six blocks later I was spotted, arrested, and held for questioning by the police. The mugger fell, stabbed themselves, and told a cop that I did it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 945

You deserved it 2 843

By Anonymous - 16/09/2014 14:34 - United States - Wallingford

Today, I was mugged. I saw a cop car in the aftermath and flagged it down. Unfortunately, when the cops stopped the mugger, he said he'd been running away because I tried to mug him. Apparently the fact that he was "well-dressed" and I wasn't means he was telling the truth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 072

You deserved it 3 221

Suspicious activity

By omgn00blolz89 - 07/04/2009 00:42 - United States

Today, I was walking my little sister home from the eye doctor. It was raining out so we were kind of in a hurry to get home. We get home and about half an hour later, the cops show up. Apparently, someone saw me walking my sister and called the cops on me thinking I was a child molester. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88 575

You deserved it 3 764

By anonymous - 16/09/2011 17:18 - United Kingdom

Today, I had a graded performance in my drama class. I had to play a murderer in an interrogation room. I got really into it and started pounding on the windows to try to "escape". The thin glass smashed. Four hours in casualty, stitches and plastic surgery pretty much sum up my mood. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 372

You deserved it 9 352

Halloween freakout

By cuz803 - 01/11/2022 16:00

Today, I went to my friend's costume party dressed as Michael Myers. My costume must've been too conspicuous because it drew violent attention. I'm still sore from the pushing, tackling, tripping, falling and body shots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 163

By notarobber - 15/05/2013 07:20 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was wearing a black shirt, black pants, and a black beanie at a grocery store. I came around a corner, bumped into a woman and she screamed, "Murderer." I was immediately thrown out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 708

You deserved it 10 112

By porkabye - 02/08/2014 23:44 - United States - Duluth

Today, upon arriving at a town festival, I was immediately singled out by a rent-a-cop. He began questioning if I had been drinking, saying he smelt it on my breath. He smelt his own breath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 493

You deserved it 3 125

By MeaganElizabethM - 11/10/2015 12:31 - United States - Steubenville

Today, while on a haunted trail, I accidentally punched a high-schooler in the throat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 692

You deserved it 4 602

SaintJimmy 0

Monday 19 October 2009 12:06

Sucks to be you, but I hope your eye twitched while he was talking to you. A little muttering under the breath wouldn't hurt either.

perdix 29

Monday 19 October 2009 12:17

Fake blood washes off easily. The real stuff can be very difficult, especially when you're still on the adrenaline rush after killing. It get even harder when the cops come and your conscience kicks in -- you're not the bad-ass sociopath you thought you were, huh? Haunted hayride? Nice alibi, but it's not a license to kill. MWAHAHAHA!

Comments

ladiesman14 0

Monday 19 October 2009 13:04

goota love the cops. did you get arrested ? did it cost you $ 5000.00 to get out of trouble ? everyone who gets arrested spends that for sime reason.

redbluegreen 40

Monday 19 October 2009 13:18

But those are the best jobs!

Brave_Sir_Robin 4

Monday 19 October 2009 14:10

OP neglected to conclude whether or not you you did the stabbing. I think you did it and you tried to act "shocked." They should fry your ass.

flying_vegan 0

Monday 19 October 2009 14:14

YDI for calling a haunted hay ride an "acting gig"

frootloopkicker 0

Monday 19 October 2009 14:37

This.

HookEmTexas07 0

Monday 19 October 2009 21:17

I came here to post this same thing. Enjoy telling everyone you're an "actor." At least you have one thing in common with most actors; you'll be out of a job in a month.

cthulhu1138 1

Monday 19 October 2009 14:17

I missed the part where this is an FML. Having a cop stop to ask a few questions is more of a minor inconvenience. If he took you down to the station and you were grilled by team of detectives, that would be a different story.

Mcgyvr 0

Monday 19 October 2009 15:28

Saunder's Farm?

IOwnCed 0

Monday 19 October 2009 21:44

Ya, i think he works at Saunder's farm. I went there this weekend.

alexcabot 0

Monday 19 October 2009 15:44

YDI for thinking a job at a haunted hayride is an "acting gig."

thornrose22 4

Monday 19 October 2009 16:23

Exactly what I was thinking

Chibi_fml 9

Monday 19 October 2009 16:12

Not seeing the FML. He questioned you - so what? It's not the end of the world since he did have reasonable cause to do so.

FromCFL 0

Monday 19 October 2009 16:37

YDI for posting a non-FML to FML.

Spiffy 0

Monday 19 October 2009 17:53

Do you happen to work at Halloween Haunt at Canada's Wonderland? Cause I work there too, and can completely understand where you're coming from cause I always wonder what people's reactions to my makeup would be when I'm driving home (even though I only have black paint around my eyes)