Embarrassing, Awkward and Work: Suspicious

Suspicious

By StevieMe - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, I was at work laminating a large photo. While I was doing this, I had a sudden itch on my nut sack. So I quickly scratched it away. When the customer came to pick up the print, I noticed that one of my pubic hairs had laminated itself on the cheek of the woman in the photograph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 782

You deserved it 99 808

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Same thing different taste

Deez nuts

By needtoscratch - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Duluth

Today, my dormant eczema decided to come back with a vengeance - on my scrotum. I work in an open office and can't scratch unless I repeatedly run into the restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 387

You deserved it 1 845

Bad hair day

By Tony - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I was fired for having a haircut that was 'inappropriate for the workplace'. I have alopecia. My boss told me to stop making up excuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 329

You deserved it 2 642

By Anonymous - 06/02/2016 01:34 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 439

You deserved it 2 181

By Anonymous - 26/08/2009 18:55 - United States

Today, I accidentally ran my thumb down the cheese grater while preparing lunch beside my wife. I instantly jerked my hand away from the grater just in time run my forearm across the knife she was using. I now have 20 stitches and 5 staples in my arm, no lunch, and a puking wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 862

You deserved it 4 723

Why did you tell me that?

By mymomplucksbutthair - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my mom confessed to me that she used to pluck my step-dad's butt hair. I hope the brain-gods delete this obnoxious mental picture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 278

You deserved it 3 491

Paranoid

By MaddyN - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Forest Grove

Today, I almost got fired from work because a customer complained that I "threw up gang signs" at him. I was blocking the sun from my eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 042

You deserved it 3 537

Broke boy

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up with the worst vaginal itching and swelling. I then find out it was brought on by my boyfriend's cheap brand of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 453

You deserved it 3 869

Say it, don't spray it

By ... - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was on a train, sitting next to an old man who was reading a newspaper. Suddenly, he sneezed without putting his hands over his nose. Instead of turning towards the window, he turned towards me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 925

You deserved it 2 301

Smoking is so cool

By Burnt - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I accidentally set my hair on fire while lighting a cigarette. I panicked and put it out by slapping myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 897

You deserved it 61 546

Rash decision

By FilthyIke - 21/08/2009 20:17 - Canada

Today, I went to the doctor to inquire about the rash I've been getting in my underarms, behind my knees and sometimes on my face. Turns out I'm allergic to sweat. I'm a varsity rugby coach, gym teacher, and I just shelled out a stack of cash to get a sauna and steam room installed in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 767

You deserved it 4 386

TeenTiger 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:03

Could you tell us the location of your work place so we can all avoid it. Thanks.

VerticalOrbit 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 23:10

Ok, so, you put your hand IN YOUR PANTS? I'm not a guy, but most guys I've seen that get an itch, usually don't put their hand in their pants. You're doing it wrong.

Comments

ned_schneebley 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 0:50

bad. ******. ass.

meepmeep_fml 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 0:52

dude, you should have at least brushed your hands off on your jeans or something. duuuuuude..

xkaokaox 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 1:00

I agree with #59... can't you scratch outside your pants rather than sticking your hands IN your pants ... YDI

sleepingprincess 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 1:01

LOL! thats great.

kellster 2

Thursday 9 April 2009 1:03

I was going to ask why you were nude at work, because I assumed that you simply would not have put your hand down your pants in public. If anything, I thought that MAYBE you at least scratched beneath the pants but above your undergarments. Please tell me you were wearing undergarments. But no. All of my hopes have been dashed: apparently you actually DID put your hand down your pants to scratch your hairy balls, then brought it out again and without washing it, then proceeded with what you were doing. I hope your workplace has security cameras and that they saw it all. I am thoroughly revolted.

greedy_dead_soul 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 1:03

Yeah, why the hell did you actually stick your hand into your pants to scratch your nuts? Just scratch outside for Christ's sake.

wholeon 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 1:09

I'm with 66... Dear everyone: Keep your hands out of your pants at work please!!! Kthx, everyone else who doesn't want your pubic hairs all over shit It's terrible manners to be scratching your junk in public, at work, anyway, but to actually go IN the pants? Dude. Come on.

jakkal 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 1:11

Jeez, at least scratch THROUGH the pants. YDI.

cheer_me_up 0

Thursday 9 April 2009 1:18

Hehehehe. That is so funny! But I do agree with everyone that you should scratch on the OUTSIDE of the underwear. I can understand not doing it on the outside of the jeans cause if its a bad itch then the jeans are too dense and you can get adequate scratching (if your at home, but not in public). But not inside the boxers.... bluck. Thats just plain wrong. Oh, and shave your balls. Girls dont like big hairy balls, we like them clean. Thank you!