I agree with you completely, #238.

I apologize if my comment came off as condescending; that's not how I intended it. I don't think the fact that the OP is unhappy with the budget she was given means that she doesn't care about the guy. You're absolutely right that the person and the relationship matter more than the ring; however, if these two are in a serious enough relationship that they're considering marriage, then I think it's safe to assume that they are aware of each others' financial situations. If her man worked long and hard to save up that $200 dollars, and it was his level best, I have to assume that the OP would know that and appreciate it. Instead, her post gives me the impression that he is really dropping the ball on this one. And, while it's true that an engagement ring is hardly a must, I have to point out that weddings and even marriage itself are hardly musts, either. Many couples can be together for decades without feeling the need to get married, and many more eschew the white-dress-and-a-reception gig for courthouse marriages with a witness or two. Engagement rings and marriages are both more symbolic than anything else, and some people put more stock in certain symbols than others do. I'm not going to begrudge anyone else the right to decide what's important to them and what's not. I'm not sure anything I said warranted the "Bridezilla" dig, but yes, I am familiar with the history of the engagement ring. I understand the original purpose, but these things can (and do) change dramatically over time. Brides no longer wear white simply to prove they can afford a white dress; honeymoons today generally consist of a vacation, not a month of honeyed wine; bridesmaids are no longer meant to fool evil spirits into choosing the wrong "bride"...and I have yet to meet a couple who sold the wife's engagement ring after the wedding. I do, however, know a couple or two that didn't bother getting the wife a wedding band, and instead use the engagement ring as both. Honestly, I don't think you're in much of a position to tell me what I did or didn't consider. For the reasons I discussed above, I think we can assume that the OP was disappointed for a reason. I'm not inclined to automatically assume that people are irrational (though I may be in the minority on that one). And again, I'm not suggesting that men go into debt for a ring; as you said, that would be appalling, and any couple with such serious money-managing issues *is* most likely asking for trouble. But as far as I can tell, she's not asking for a new piece of jewelry each month to "keep her in bling." If she really is that materialistic, then sure, I'll jump on the "ungrateful bitch" bandwagon. But the way I read it, she's only asking for one ring that, for some people, is just as important as a wedding band. I'm honestly a little confused by your last paragraph. I never said anything about people being poor, or women picking out their own rings. In fact, as I am a fairly poor college student who just got engaged to a fellow poor college student, I would be the last person to imply that money should stop you from being with the one you love. And, seeing as my fiance and I picked out my ring together, I'm not complaining about that either. In fact, I'm glad we did it that way; I think it's the best idea in the world. But the keyword is *together.* We had a fairly shoestring budget, but my man busted his ass looking for something that I would love without breaking the bank, and I love him all the more for it. I wasn't looking for a certain number of carats, or even a diamond. I was looking for something that came from his heart, and that's exactly what I got. If my fiance had instead tossed a little money at me and told me to take care of it myself, I would have been just as hurt and angry as the OP. I think shopping for an engagement ring together can give a couple an interesting preview of married life and joint decision-making, and if he's not willing to lift a finger, that doesn't bode well in my mind. While I will agree that submitting her post to FML wasn't going to fix anything, it's not a bad way to vent and I doubt she would have otherwise spent those 30 seconds or so fixing the situation. And, once again, I'm not sure you're in any position to comment on my priorities or values, seeing as you don't know me from Adam. I do apologize that you took my comments so personally. They weren't directed at anyone in particular, seeing as I have no idea who you (or anyone else on this site) are. Please note the difference between inadvertently offensive comments and ad hominem attacks. On a final note, I'd like to thank you for calling me a "presumptuous cow," and then deriding my "puerile name-calling" in the same sentence. Internet irony is just too delicious sometimes. :-)

@ #240: Thanks! Clearly most people don't, lol.

Fair enough. But really, it was probably 30 seconds out of her day to come post on here. I don't really think she'd have used the time to fix her problems. Not to mention, we all put at least *some* stock in this site, since we're all here and commenting! lol