Take the hints

By Unwanted - 03/11/2015 19:10 - Austria

Today, my boyfriend declared he doesn't feel ready to move in with me for at least "some more years". We have already been together for five years. When he bought an apartment one year ago, he kept it a secret for three months. Maybe I should learn to take a hint. Or several hints. FML
I agree, your life sucks 22 912
You deserved it 4 688
Back to school
Is that it, have we really enjoyed the holidays? It's time to find the best back-to-school struggles. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

lexiieeex3 32

He doesn't seem to be the commitment type or even the honesty type. Looks like it's time to move on OP.

216 8

Comments

WinterChild 20

You are his side chick. For your sake, please move on.

33 5
jonomc 12

Take the hint. Seriously how many clues do you need? To all the optimists - let her face reality and maybe she will find somebody who appreciates her and wants to be with her. Yours and her optimism are curtailing her future happiness. What's for sure is, she won't meet someone whilst waiting for him.

15 6
revolvearoundme 15

I'm confused. After 4 years of dating your boyfriend moved. It took you 3 months to figure this out and almost a year later you're still together... WTF did he say to make that OK?

10 1
dutchy86 20

haha I've been in you're bf's situation. and I also bought an apartment without negotiating with my (ex-)gf.... it just didn't feel right at the time. and looking back at the situation it was a good decision for me to get my own place. try and get a nice own HOME close to his apartment and you will be together a lot too and maybe move in together soon. Good luck OP!

3 21
dutchy86 20

true, that is quite strange. But I can understand if it's a hot issue in the relationship that the bf is a bit afraid to come clean with it. (although how the f*ck can you succeed in keeping such a big thing a secret for so long!?) ohw well. I hope OP and bf make a good decision

4 2
DoomedGemini 37

I really think it's time for op to move on. She obviously isn't happy with the fact he's not ready to move forward and I think enough time has been wasted if they can't agree on a pace of the relationship.

4 1
mssileas 25

If he can't commit to at least living together after five years, move on. You obviously want different things from a relationship and 'some more years' doesn't sound like he actually made up his thoughts about your future.

17 3
amileah13 26

It's obvious he's not ready for commitment or at least the next step. Time to move on op. Good luck with him!

9 3
doemetoch 28

He didn't tell you he bought an appartment? That's a major red flag OP, come on. It's ok to not want to live together, but hiding major parts of your life for your partner isn't. What on earth did he tell you to justify that?

24 2
revolvearoundme 15

I really wasn't sure about the place. But then I got this rug and it really tied the room together.

15 1
ladycoco8 20

Well he definitely shouldn't have kept that apartment a secret. That's shady. However I can't help but sympathize a little because after being with my BF for 3 years, it took him a good year to convince me moving in was a good thing. I hated leaving home. So I don't want to jump and say it's a commitment fear - it isn't always the case - but you know your relationship better than I do (:

7 3
derangedplanet 23

don't know if this is commitment issues...or if the guy has a serious change stressor. either way you should talk about it. don't let this hold you back from life.

3 1
xx000o 27

What have you been doing the last five years?

2 2
cathrope 10

I'll never figure out why people feel unwanted just because their BF/GF doesn't want to move in with them. Call me old school, but personally people shouldn't move into the same house until after marriage.

3 19
Alexandria79 22

old school or not this guy is clearly saying that after 5 yes that he doesn't seem them becoming as serious as a married couple for several more years. OP might want a wedding/family soon or in the next few years. this guy doesn't want that commitment

6 3
DoomedGemini 37

Living together only after marriage actually could lead to a lot of divorces. Dating someone and living with someone are completely different, if you can't deal with living with them it's a lot better for you to be able to just break up rather than divorce. There will be divorced either way, but I'd think they'd be a lot more common if people married without even seeing if they can stand living together.

3 0
Brandi_Faith 33

28, I personally agree with you about the marriage thing, but the difference here is that op wants to move forward and have a future with this guy, and he obviously doesn't. His vague response about maybe moving in together in "some few years" shows that he hasn't planned any sort of a future with op. Not to mention that he's lying about big parts of his life. It sounds like she needs to talk to her boyfriend and find out where things are going and if there's any future with him. If not, time to move on.

3 3