Miscellaneous: Tension

Tension

By Anonymous - 06/04/2011 11:47 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said, "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 985

You deserved it 5 475

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Same thing different taste

One way or another

By embarrassed - 08/10/2012 09:12 - Australia - Morphett Vale

Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 001

You deserved it 6 135

By SierraDiaz2097 - 23/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Vardaman

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 621

You deserved it 9 662

Both ends

By Anon - 19/06/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 130

Bursting out

By Myth Confirmed - 26/10/2023 16:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, I overheard my brother telling my son and his male cousins, who all think he's a cool uncle, that, "Only women can sneeze and fart at the same time." I decided to intervene, and gave him a scolding of a lifetime in front of them. Let's just say, I had to sneeze while in the middle of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648

You deserved it 440

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 338

You deserved it 32 300

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 363

You deserved it 8 110

Bad timing, dude

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 07:59 - Australia

Today, in the middle of asking my girlfriend to marry me, I sneezed so hard that I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 150

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 140

It's a gas gas gas

By Dani - 28/11/2011 12:34 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 377

You deserved it 9 475

By mandygeegoesnom - 29/02/2012 05:30 - United States

Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 147

You deserved it 2 536

lmaoatall 6

Wednesday 6 April 2011 19:27

and you say, nooo, open your ears! it was a snart.

cptmorgan15 2

Wednesday 6 April 2011 19:41

Haha, funny, but a dick move on his part.

Comments

peachdoll 3

Wednesday 6 April 2011 21:36

Farting is good hahaha :P

Easyaccess 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 21:45

hahaha... perfect timing.

TraceCase_ 19

Wednesday 6 April 2011 21:47

That'll teach you to cover your butt when you sneeze.

sweet_blue 3

Thursday 7 April 2011 0:58

Lmfao

mythicallove101 0

Monday 11 April 2011 3:45

lmaoo xD

emily14swim 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 22:07

hahaha how embarasing. you could lie and hope no one else heard

jess6blondie9 2

Wednesday 6 April 2011 22:38

It happens. Everyone farts. Laugh it off, they'll only remember that for the rest of their lives. No worries.

NDNitro 2

Wednesday 6 April 2011 23:15

claim it!

underpaid011 0

Wednesday 6 April 2011 23:43

better than a sneeze-queef-fart. could have been worse!

docscientist 9

Thursday 7 April 2011 0:49

Querteeze? qwertys?

jcrob 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 0:06

just be grateful you didnt follow through! pressure of a sneeze and needing the toilet... could have been messy!!!

kingtz 6

Thursday 7 April 2011 0:15

A "shnart", you mean?

sweet_blue 3

Thursday 7 April 2011 0:56

oh my god I did the same thing in junior high lmao and my boyfriend was sitting right behind me

alipod 11

Thursday 7 April 2011 6:29

he became ur ex then?

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The Top

Today, I caught my husband talking to a girl on Instagram. He denied there being more than just “friendship” and gave me an ultimatum: to stop “policing” him or he throws me and our newborn out into the streets. He knows that I have no family or nowhere else to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 134

Today, my boyfriend and were I getting it on in his bedroom where he had all of his anime models on display. I accidentally knocked over one of his models and it fell on to the floor. He got angry and kicked me out. Apparently, making his models look good was more important than us making love. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 645

You deserved it 13 331

The Top

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 443

You deserved it 11 656

Today, I was working at the hospital receptionist desk. A visitor came in, but only knew the patient’s nickname “Peaches” When I explained to her we don’t address patients by nicknames, she demanded to see my supervisor. She ended up spitting in her face and had to be escorted out by security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 033

You deserved it 73

Today, I found out I have genital herpes. I'm a virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 367

You deserved it 5 753

Today, I drove over 200km from Dublin to Galway, with a broken window. It rained for most of the journey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 270

You deserved it 5 694

Today, my girlfriend wasn't kidding when she said that if I hit her cervix just the 'right' way during sex, she'd puke. I was on the bottom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 506

You deserved it 4 455

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 405

You deserved it 3 089

Same thing different taste

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