Miscellaneous: Tension

Tension

By Anonymous - 06/04/2011 11:47 - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend's parents visited us. When everyone was chatting in the room, I needed to go to the bathroom. I got up and wanted to walk away when I sneezed, and farted at the same time. I thought they didn't hear it, until my boyfriend's brother said, "That wasn't just a sneeze was it?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 985

You deserved it 5 475

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Same thing different taste

One way or another

By embarrassed - 08/10/2012 09:12 - Australia - Morphett Vale

Today, despite having a mild case of the flu, I visited my boyfriend's house and watched a movie with his parents. During the movie, I felt the sudden urge to sneeze. Trying to hold it in, I managed to do the loudest fart I've ever done in my life. Everyone heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 001

You deserved it 6 135

By SierraDiaz2097 - 23/03/2013 05:44 - United States - Vardaman

Today, I sneezed. My boyfriend told me to shut up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 621

You deserved it 9 662

Both ends

By Anon - 19/06/2024 12:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, I was in a meeting when I felt a sneeze coming on. I tried to hold it in to avoid making a noise. Instead, I ended up sneeze-imploding so hard that I accidentally farted at the same time. The entire room went silent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 130

Bursting out

By Myth Confirmed - 26/10/2023 16:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, I overheard my brother telling my son and his male cousins, who all think he's a cool uncle, that, "Only women can sneeze and fart at the same time." I decided to intervene, and gave him a scolding of a lifetime in front of them. Let's just say, I had to sneeze while in the middle of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 648

You deserved it 440

Blame the pooch

By anamota89 - 11/05/2012 09:33 - United States

Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. I had to fart really badly, so thinking that he wouldn't hear me, I did so. He heard me and asked, "Did you fart?" I said "No, it was my dog." I don't have a dog, and he knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 338

You deserved it 32 300

By Anonymous - 30/09/2013 16:22 - United States - Union

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 363

You deserved it 8 110

Bad timing, dude

By Anonymous - 24/02/2021 07:59 - Australia

Today, in the middle of asking my girlfriend to marry me, I sneezed so hard that I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 015

You deserved it 150

Let it all out

By Anonymous - 25/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I was in a meeting with my boss and some new clients when I sensed that I was about to sneeze. I tried to hold it in, but ended up sneezing AND farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 835

You deserved it 140

It's a gas gas gas

By Dani - 28/11/2011 12:34 - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend and I were visiting a historical war bunker when I accidentally let rip a small fart. My boyfriend responded with a horribly loud, horrendous fart, and loudly announced, "This is war." There were people, lots of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 377

You deserved it 9 475

By mandygeegoesnom - 29/02/2012 05:30 - United States

Today, while waiting for my boyfriend to get out of the shower, I chatted with his grandma. As soon as we hear him exit the restroom, she smirks at me and lets a huge, smelly fart out. She blamed it on me. My boyfriend believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 147

You deserved it 2 536

lmaoatall 6

Wednesday 6 April 2011 19:27

and you say, nooo, open your ears! it was a snart.

cptmorgan15 2

Wednesday 6 April 2011 19:41

Haha, funny, but a dick move on his part.

Comments

SmelloJello 9

Thursday 7 April 2011 5:46

Oh gosh, I should not have been drinking water when I read this. PSHHHHHH!!!

zman1422 3

Thursday 7 April 2011 6:07

it was a snart!

munderhill33 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 22:26

sneeze and a fart

joe_says_so 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 6:29

nice comment there.

OMG_N3RD 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 6:52

LOL

itsmissjox3 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 7:01

Well it goes with her name.

Tenaed 7

Thursday 7 April 2011 8:08

how awkward!! O.o

salmonbean 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 8:36

thats the funniest fml i read all day :D

bigboicain 3

Thursday 7 April 2011 12:44

wow just wow

mercury23 7

Thursday 7 April 2011 14:30

What mean sneeze? i can't find that word in my dictionary. Can anybody help me. Send me email please.

JenL_fml 7

Thursday 7 April 2011 15:31

you know... when your nose tickles and you inhale and then... achoo! :/

fuwop 0

Friday 8 April 2011 5:13

haha! 111- win!

munderhill33 0

Thursday 7 April 2011 22:23

lmao, that's classic!!!!

Keywords

Embarrassing Accident Work Relatable Health Love LGBTQIA+ Annoying Inappropriate AITA My ex Relationship advice Cats Cute Animals Friends Awkward Cars Transportation Dogs Scams Money Miscellaneous Kids Family Drugs Public freakouts Cheating Intimacy Sex

The Top

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 295

You deserved it 4 746

"Fake". We do sure hear that word a lot nowadays. But what can you do, sometimes the situation you're trapped in is so unreal that you simply can't make it up. But don't worry, here on FML, these situations are the true heroes, so come along and brin...

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

The Top

Today, I met my father-in-law for the first time. He went on a big rant how men are superior intellects and women contribute nothing to society. Ironic, as it took me, a woman, 30 seconds to notice it's biologically impossible for him to be my husband's father. After 33 years, both he and my husband haven't figured it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 739

You deserved it 233

Today, while reading some chemistry notes, I came across the term "solid water". Completely stumped, I asked myself, "What the hell is solid water?" Then I heard my little cousin say, "Ice." I'm a 4th year science major in university. He still checks the closet for monsters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 807

You deserved it 84 682

Today, my parents have made it very clear to me that if I fail one more assignment, they’re disowning me. I got a zero on a paper that I poured my heart and soul into, and in the notes, the teacher wrote, “I don’t even need to read this paper to know that it is bad.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 241

You deserved it 158

Today, while I was gaming, a girl using voice chat was probably the most polite person I have ever encountered in my life. It was only after I logged off that I realized she spoke to me with more affection and respect than my own mother ever has in my entire life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 036

You deserved it 122

Today, Amazon didn't deliver the present I bought my mother for Mothering Sunday, so she called me an 'Ungrateful bastard.' And about half an hour ago, I cut my thumb whilst making her lunch. She said, 'You're doing this on purpose so I feel sorry for you. Well I don't.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 783

You deserved it 3 736

Today, I spent all day preparing a big, elaborate Italian dinner for my boyfriend, who recently discovered he was part Italian. He came home, turned up his nose and said "I was in the mood for Chinese". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 878

You deserved it 4 151

Same thing different taste

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