Marriage, Gamers and Love: Terminally online - FML

Terminally online

By mr_loveless - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I got married on Skyrim. To an elf. While in real life, my love life is floundering like a half-dead carp in the surf on a hot day. So much so in fact that I actually draw a measure of comfort from being married to an elf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 752

You deserved it 10 943

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Top comments

MisterMichael 9

Monday 11 February 2013 12:04

Try picturing the carp as half-alive. Maybe it'll help turn things around

carmel1110 12

Monday 11 February 2013 12:02

At least she's hot?

Comments

fishyrael 28

Tuesday 10 May 2016 18:43

I married Muiri. Hail Sithis!

Litterblood 7

Friday 20 May 2016 4:36

Haha I feel you! I'm in the same situation here OP!

nitemastr15 17

Sunday 31 July 2016 8:42

Was it a Magicarp? Feel free to thumb down. i know that was lame.

HalfLit 17

Monday 24 July 2017 14:17

Try getting into LARPing and then you'll meet some real life *coughcrazycough* elf chicks. But hey, it's fun AND legitimate!

Bubbilility 27

Monday 30 November 2020 19:15

Sorry about your relationship, that part sucks. But marrying someone in-game isn't anything to worry about. I always marry the orc dude who works the forge in the Markarth palace. Moth gro-Bagol.

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The Top

Today, my mom kicked me out of the house because I missed my curfew and overslept at my boyfriend’s house. She said she’d let me back in on one condition: that I was still a virgin. My boyfriend’s parents won’t let me live with him. I’m currently staying in the Walmart restroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 315

Today, my boyfriend started to suck on my boob, which I quite enjoy, until he said he was breastfeeding and called me "Mummy". I don't think I can ever let his mouth near my boobs ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 029

You deserved it 3 407

The Top

Today, my sister in law threatened to call CPS on me because I “starved” her children when they spent the night. I didn’t starve them. I made an actual home cooked meal instead of the microwaveable or fast food crap she constantly feeds them. They chose not to eat and threw tantrums instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 858

You deserved it 207

Today, I got into a fight with my husband. I told him we’re a stereotypical couple, where the wife is exhausted from doing all the housework and raising the kids. He looked me in the eye and told me I’m lucky he’s still around after how I “let myself go after the third kid.” I have diastasis recti. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 054

You deserved it 227

Today, I had to lie to my therapist about my sex life to make myself feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 242

You deserved it 6 555

Today, despite the fact that I've lived alone for four years, and have a well-paid job, my father is still whining about, "Why am I still playing video games at age 32?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 983

You deserved it 148

Today, after class I was chatting with my teacher, a really cool and stylish old black guy. I tell him he reminds me of one of those soul dudes from those '70s movies, right down to the pimp-walk. He tells me he walks that way because he was beaten for drinking out of the wrong fountain as a kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 369

You deserved it 52 163

Today, I was watching last week's episode of The Walking Dead with my girlfriend. When the gang leader explained the rules of the group to Daryl, I reached over, grabbed my girlfriend's boobs and yelled, "Claimed!" She shot back, "Yeah, they are. But not by you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 604

You deserved it 19 759