Intimacy: Terminology

Terminology

By yummy - 30/05/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 571

You deserved it 84 236

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Same thing different taste

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 443

You deserved it 772

Life hacks

By Zibby - 11/02/2011 05:51

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 483

You deserved it 80 879

By future brain bleach addict - 02/05/2013 23:54 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 114

You deserved it 8 581

Fake it til you make it

By Anonymous - 02/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I learned that I don’t need to fake my orgasms, even though I’ve never been given one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 334

You deserved it 215

User notice

By Anonymous - 16/05/2015 02:52 - United States - Rockwall

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 593

You deserved it 3 122

First time

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 261

By Anonymous - 24/01/2010 08:55 - Australia

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 204

You deserved it 7 461

How could you?

By datingmrpicky - 22/08/2011 03:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 510

You deserved it 37 001

By esb - 13/08/2009 15:23 - Canada

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 902

You deserved it 8 337

By lissysue1 - 12/07/2012 19:23 - United States - Green Bay

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I realized he was opening his mouth wide a lot. At first, I thought he was trying to French-kiss me. He was actually yawning through the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 917

You deserved it 4 920

Fuzzygraywolf 0

Monday 30 May 2011 8:53

a wee bit behind on the learning curve are we? lol

Lexiesoccerchick 0

Monday 30 May 2011 8:52

wooow, you fail.

Comments

OhHeySlogan 4

Monday 30 May 2011 16:32

what did you think that 69 entailed?

LifeanDeath 2

Monday 30 May 2011 16:45

a speed limit :D? xD jk

jane79 0

Monday 30 May 2011 22:22

* win* this is my favorite comment on this fml

christyxbee 15

Monday 30 May 2011 16:37

ouch ... lol. fyl!

Leighten22 0

Monday 30 May 2011 16:41

Oh but it can :D

LifeanDeath 2

Monday 30 May 2011 16:42

wait? what does eating somone out mean? o.o I'm confused >.< I does have to do with food right? plz tell me I'm right >.

Thale_fml 8

Monday 30 May 2011 17:17

Eating out is the same as giving head, i.e. oral sex...

l0606299 0

Monday 30 May 2011 16:45

lmaaaooo NO SHIT

bensharp 5

Monday 30 May 2011 16:45

unless the person doing the eating is a zombie...

Slythrr 0

Monday 30 May 2011 16:56

wth did you think it meant?!?!

solayback 0

Monday 30 May 2011 16:57

priceless...kinda late there buddy ;-)

kiaramichele 0

Monday 30 May 2011 17:03

epic fail!

Xmarshall16X 5

Monday 30 May 2011 17:04

Ohh yes it does ;)

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Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went into a cafe only to be greeted by a young boy who pulled down my leggings in line. Everyone got a look at my pink Hello Kitty panties with white frilly trimming before scrambling to pick them up. In the process, I banged my head on the counter, and fell on the floor, unconscious, pants still down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 607

You deserved it 81

Today, I was at my friend's house for the first time in months. I saw her new Chihuahua, Mickey, and he was excited that new people were over. I picked him up and slightly bounced him in the air. Because of the bounce and his excitement, he peed a little bit… straight into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 211

You deserved it 34 135

The Top

Today, I finally went to the doctor for a condition I've had all my life. Turns out it was easily cured with a simple pill. I peed in my pants everyday for 27 years for nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 214

You deserved it 5 800

Today, I unknowingly left a five minute-long voicemail on my boss’s phone, at 3 a.m., while out drinking with friends. I have no idea what we were talking about at that time, but I know I don’t want my boss to have a candid recording of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 539

Today, I ordered a beer with my parents at dinner. The waitress said, "Oh, happy 22nd birthday." My parents eyes got really big, and they started to blush. They'd forgotten it was my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 341

You deserved it 193

Today, my colleague pointed out with a disgusted look on his face that I'm wearing 90s clothes again. Just like every time he sees me. What does he mean by 90s clothes? Jeans. Literally any pair of jeans. FML

I agree, your life sucks 975

You deserved it 69

Today, my grandpa’s estate is being sued. Over his career as a cross country truck driver, he impregnated dozens of women, some of which were underage. Now so many of them are suing, my grandma might lose the house that’s been in our family for generations. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 112

Today, my extremely OCD girlfriend wouldn't have sex with me because my bedroom wasn't "properly symmetrical." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 838

You deserved it 7 291

Terminology

Same thing different taste

Nice outing

Life hacks

Fake it til you make it

User notice

First time

How could you?

Top comments

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