Intimacy: Terminology

Terminology

By yummy - 30/05/2011 03:34 - United States

Today, I learned that "eating someone out" didn't actually involve food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 571

You deserved it 84 236

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Same thing different taste

Nice outing

By Anonymous - 07/12/2019 05:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I decided to treat my girlfriend by eating her out. After a while I thought she was going to cum, but instead she farted in my mouth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 442

You deserved it 771

Life hacks

By Zibby - 11/02/2011 05:51

Today, I found out that applying toothpaste to your penis to make it taste good for your girlfriend is not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 483

You deserved it 80 877

By future brain bleach addict - 02/05/2013 23:54 - Canada - Victoria

Today, I walked in on my sister apparently trying to eat herself out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 77 112

You deserved it 8 581

Fake it til you make it

By Anonymous - 02/03/2024 14:00 - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I learned that I don’t need to fake my orgasms, even though I’ve never been given one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 215

User notice

By Anonymous - 16/05/2015 02:52 - United States - Rockwall

Today, I had to slowly explain to my brother that spooning has nothing to do with using a spoon to clean out a woman's vagina after sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 593

You deserved it 3 122

First time

By Anonymous - 13/03/2021 23:30 - United Kingdom - Gloucester

Today, I had sex for the first time. I realised that I was more satisfied by last night's dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 261

By Anonymous - 24/01/2010 08:55 - Australia

Today, I found out that my boyfriend isn't gay. Apparently, I just give good head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 203

You deserved it 7 461

How could you?

By datingmrpicky - 22/08/2011 03:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 510

You deserved it 37 000

By esb - 13/08/2009 15:23 - Canada

Today, I finally had sex with this great guy I've been seeing. I thought I'd found a catch. We get into his room, start kissing, and things heat up. Everything is perfect until he reaches under his bed, pulls out a doughnut and shoves it into my mouth, snarling, "eat it, eat it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 901

You deserved it 8 336

By lissysue1 - 12/07/2012 19:23 - United States - Green Bay

Today, while making out with my boyfriend, I realized he was opening his mouth wide a lot. At first, I thought he was trying to French-kiss me. He was actually yawning through the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 917

You deserved it 4 920

Fuzzygraywolf 0

Monday 30 May 2011 8:53

a wee bit behind on the learning curve are we? lol

Lexiesoccerchick 0

Monday 30 May 2011 8:52

wooow, you fail.

Comments

OhHeySlogan 4

Monday 30 May 2011 16:32

what did you think that 69 entailed?

LifeanDeath 2

Monday 30 May 2011 16:45

a speed limit :D? xD jk

jane79 0

Monday 30 May 2011 22:22

* win* this is my favorite comment on this fml

christyxbee 15

Monday 30 May 2011 16:37

ouch ... lol. fyl!

Leighten22 0

Monday 30 May 2011 16:41

Oh but it can :D

LifeanDeath 2

Monday 30 May 2011 16:42

wait? what does eating somone out mean? o.o I'm confused >.< I does have to do with food right? plz tell me I'm right >.

Thale_fml 8

Monday 30 May 2011 17:17

Eating out is the same as giving head, i.e. oral sex...

l0606299 0

Monday 30 May 2011 16:45

lmaaaooo NO SHIT

bensharp 5

Monday 30 May 2011 16:45

unless the person doing the eating is a zombie...

Slythrr 0

Monday 30 May 2011 16:56

wth did you think it meant?!?!

solayback 0

Monday 30 May 2011 16:57

priceless...kinda late there buddy ;-)

kiaramichele 0

Monday 30 May 2011 17:03

epic fail!

Xmarshall16X 5

Monday 30 May 2011 17:04

Ohh yes it does ;)

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Keywords

Break-ups Love Relatable Work Engagement Coworkers I need your advice Awkward Parents School Parenting Kids Birthday Miscellaneous Cooking Cats Food Messy Embarrassing Weddings Dance Texting Health Poopoo peepee Clumsy Clothes Mental health Annoying Noise Money

The Top

Today, waiting times in our emergency department were so long that a patient who'd initially presented with just a sprained ankle eventually presented with a sprained ankle and a request to test for STDs because he went to see a prostitute instead of waiting, and his condom broke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 100

You deserved it 242

Today, my sister asked me to explain where to put a tampon. I realized near the end of the conversation that she believed the urine, feces, and blood all came from the same orifice. This began a long discussion during which I was forced to tell her not to put the tampon in her rectum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 993

You deserved it 2 838

The Top

Today, after helping run salads and bread to a table, they demanded I do something about the bug problem. I would've been more understanding if they hadn't chosen to sit outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 534

You deserved it 1 888

Today, I had a science test. A question asked, "What is the first stage of photosynthesis?" I didn't know, so just trying to be light-hearted, I wrote, "The plant must first believe in itself." My teacher didn't think it was funny, and gave me detention for insulting her intelligence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 373

You deserved it 16 796

Today, I love my partner but also have negative thoughts as well. She stopped being interested in me about 6 months into our relationship. We have been together for 12 years. We have made love on 3 different occasions in the last 4 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 456

Today, my partner heard the cat about to puke and shoved her off the bed. I found this out in the morning. With my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 544

You deserved it 254

Today, my wife was screaming at our son over his maths homework, so I poked my nose in to help calm them down. My wife was not happy when I pointed out that most of her calculations and answers were wrong, whereas our son got most of his right. I’m now in the doghouse because my wife can’t count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 664

You deserved it 98

Today, my manager called me into his office and spent half an hour screaming at me for granting one of our workers so many religious off-days. Apparently, the name of these "religious observances" actually means something to the effect of "scoring some pussy" in Macedonian. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 827

You deserved it 4 482

Terminology

Same thing different taste

Nice outing

Life hacks

Fake it til you make it

User notice

First time

How could you?

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