The day after

By last night king - 28/05/2019 18:09

Today, I went to work completely hung over. I was at my desk for 5 minutes before security threw me out on my ass. Apparently, I’m hung over because I got fired yesterday and got blackout drunk, completely forgetting that I had been fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 963

You deserved it 3 007

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Any excuse

By jess - 15/10/2023 04:00

Today, without any warning from my body whatsoever, I had to go to the bathroom at work to puke. I was then fired for being ‘drunk’ at work. I wasn’t drunk, just sick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 777

You deserved it 81

By meh - 17/01/2018 09:00 - United States - Dublin

Today, after drinking myself to an oblivion, I awoke with a massive hangover. I didn’t want to go to work, but every excuse I came up with in my head screamed of alcoholics. When I arrived, my boss asked me why I was there. It was my day off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 005

You deserved it 4 874

Not funny, guys

By person - 20/09/2015 23:57 - United States - League City

Today, I accidentally fell asleep at work after working a 12-hour shift. Instead of waking me up, my coworkers spiked my coffee mug with whiskey and told my boss I was drunk. My boss wouldn't even listen to my side of the story and fired me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 708

You deserved it 2 991

Boozing on the job

By paulcorrea95 - 21/09/2019 06:07 - United States

Today, I was at work, cleaning up a construction site. I picked up a beer can and accidentally spilled some of it on me. My boss came in to check on me and thought I was drunk. Instead of getting a raise, I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 798

You deserved it 194

By Anonymous - 09/07/2016 15:14

Today, I overheard my boss talking about me on the phone. Turns out he was drunk off his ass when he gave the go-ahead to hire me, and he's now searching for any excuse to legally fire me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 977

You deserved it 912

By Tey - 22/12/2011 00:07 - United States

Today, on my first day of work, I got fired after 45 minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 920

You deserved it 17 852

By jobless - 10/04/2015 06:28 - United States - Fort Collins

Today, my boss fired me by locking me out of my workplace after I went out to throw out the trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 664

You deserved it 2 511

By sdk2010 - 06/03/2012 17:05 - Canada

Today, I was fired from my job. My boss claimed it was because I smelled like alcohol, never mind the fact that my job was brewmaster at a beer company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 486

You deserved it 2 265

Narcolepsy? Boredom?

By jinnai - 27/03/2021 00:30

Today, I was fired for falling asleep at work. I’m still not sure how I fell asleep, seeing as I’m a stocker and I was actively putting cans on the shelf when it happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 981

You deserved it 106

By Drunkactor - 03/08/2019 06:00 - United States

Today, my boss fired me because of my drinking problem. The reason he thinks I have a drinking problem? I was in a play he saw, in which I played a drunk person. I've been completely sober my whole life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 118

You deserved it 115

Mayaaaaaaaaa 12

Tuesday 28 May 2019 19:26

You might want to seek help for alcoholism, OP

ajh1800 25

Tuesday 28 May 2019 18:44

It seems like there have been a lot of alcoholics on here lately. Instead of coming on FML to complain (it's not likely you'll get much sympathy here), perhaps you guys should get together in AA?

Comments

ajh1800 25

Tuesday 28 May 2019 18:44

It seems like there have been a lot of alcoholics on here lately. Instead of coming on FML to complain (it's not likely you'll get much sympathy here), perhaps you guys should get together in AA?

bloopaloop 27

Tuesday 28 May 2019 19:15

I can see why they fired you. How many days have you been doing this?

Mayaaaaaaaaa 12

Tuesday 28 May 2019 19:26

You might want to seek help for alcoholism, OP

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 29 May 2019 1:27

Plot twist: he worked at a brewery.

BurnInDemonFire 34

Wednesday 29 May 2019 17:32

It does sound like a very Peter Griffin-esque thing to happen. Actually, I think this has happened in one or more episodes of Family Guy.

RichardPencil 30

Wednesday 29 May 2019 17:37

It reminded me of the old joke. A brewery worker delivered the bad news to the widow that her husband had drowned in a beer vat. She shrieked, “He never had a chance!” The worker replied, “I don’t want to contradict you, but he did get out twice to take a piss.”

mr_dinzaster 16

Wednesday 29 May 2019 6:26

Yeah seriously go back but get slammered drunk first

alycion 38

Wednesday 29 May 2019 11:31

You mean to tell me that none of you thinking drinking problem ever got bombed out of your mind on a bad day even if you don’t normally drink. I may have a beer every three years. When my contract job ended, we all sat on the beach at a bar and got beyond drunk. None of us drove and none of us needed an AA meeting. It’s not uncommon to do this after losing a job, if it’s a good one.