Dogs, Relatable and Animals: The left hand, the right hand

The left hand, the right hand

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, I was out walking my dog. I was throwing a stick in the lake so he could go get it (he loves swimming). A friend called me. After I was done calling, another friend came by, and we talked for a while. When my dog barked, I accidentally threw my iPhone into the water instead of his stick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 828

You deserved it 42 516

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

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Same thing different taste

Not the smartest

By ugh Buck! - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was watching a movie on TV. One of the characters has the same name as my dog, and when his name was called, my dog got so excited that he jumped face-first into my TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 478

You deserved it 4 551

Second class citizen

By crapped on - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, who said she was too busy to talk to me. When my sister asked her who was on the phone, she replied, "The dog sitter." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 561

You deserved it 4 261

The ending of Lost explained

By Morgan - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found him under my bed asleep when I got home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 862

You deserved it 30 067

Rewind time

By supersmashpika - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Hershey

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 670

You deserved it 9 996

Caught off guard

By dooommage - This FML is from back in 2008 but it's good stuff - France

Today, I was teasing my cat with a piece of string when suddenly my phone rang. I answered it with one hand and put the string down with the other onto my lap. The beast seized the opportunity to spring, claws out, onto my privates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 386

You deserved it 15 362

Naughty girl

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice, then we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside, she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 062

You deserved it 3 815

Bad boy

By Shiva - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - France - Niort

Today, I cleaned my apartment from top to bottom. Once I was done, I looked over at my puppy, who then woke up, stretched, got out of his basket and started to pee. I shouted, "No!" Scared, he then ran all over the place, still peeing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 788

You deserved it 9 674

Red flag

By Kirby - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, as I was walking back to my dorm, I looked down and thought, "I wonder why the ground is wet in just this one spot?" Then I got hit with a water balloon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 204

You deserved it 4 509

By Anonymous - 03/08/2016 18:01 - United States - Albuquerque

Today, my car broke down in the middle of nowhere. I walked about 3 miles to the nearest house to call a tow truck. When I got back to where I left my car, it was gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 249

You deserved it 1 256

Instant cure

By Username - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, I had been sick all day, so to cheer me up my dad drove me to get ice cream. On our way back, we hit a puppy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 579

You deserved it 4 949

null_fml 11

Thursday 26 August 2010 20:07

Did he bring it back?

amerwin 3

Thursday 26 August 2010 20:23

To bad there isn't an app for that.

Comments

amerwin 3

Thursday 26 August 2010 20:23

To bad there isn't an app for that.

FMLsOhilarious 6

Friday 27 August 2010 6:23

Lol @15. Win!

jctankk 0

Friday 27 August 2010 6:39

agreed! win

big_kuntry 0

Friday 27 August 2010 8:15

Epic win!! 15

Action_Bastard 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 20:31

Its ok as long as it wasn't a Droid phone. If it were then I would understand the loss of something valuable.

nobody_u_ko 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 20:39

considering he said his iPhone I'm thinking it probably wasn't a droid

ZleveL 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 21:15

19- agreed 100%

lotuspod 0

Friday 27 August 2010 0:08

I'm pretty sure he was just saying he's lucky it wasn't a droid cause it would suck if it was

taylor_bby100 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 20:33

Sorry but ydi. Should have payed more attention lol

TomasT 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 20:51

This was old...

Jessi_the_sexii 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 20:54

atleast he'll bring it back to you :D

l8trXb8tr 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 20:59

Sounds like a good idea to get rid of your iPwn, and upgrade to something that's truly customizable. FML, nah... more like a MAL (my awesome luck)

suffokateslowly 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 21:19

this fml has already been used like a month ago

tiffyxmac 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 21:27

that sucks ass ahahaha!

lookatyou 0

Thursday 26 August 2010 21:56

feel you on that one... got my iPhone 4 2 weeks ago and left it on the roof of my truck. Luckily it slid off into the trucks bed.

me_is_lala 2

Thursday 26 August 2010 22:05

haha sucks :(

Keywords

Animals Gross Poopoo peepee Cats Love Awkward Smells Miscellaneous Embarrassing Painful Health First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Grieving Music Boredom Anniversary Abuse Ironic Intimacy AITA Alcohol Am I overreacting? Transportation Drunk Gun control Parents Kids

The Top

Today, I was upset after my boyfriend and I broke up. My best friend heard and told me she would be right over. Three hours of waiting later, she stumbles in wasted. She had been at the bar, with my ex, making sure he was okay. For me, I just got a list of all the drinks she had that night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 091

You deserved it 2 489

Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 737

You deserved it 202

The Top

Today, my new boyfriend told me he has no interest in being a dad, never has, never will, so the first time I ask him for any sort of help with my son he’s out the door. I'd dump his ass, but my mum just died so I have nowhere to go, and literally cannot afford both rent and food without his wage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 138

You deserved it 702

Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 290

You deserved it 7 003

Today, I finally made the last payment on the beautiful engagement ring I bought and proposed with - two years ago. To my ex-girlfriend, who said no and promptly started sleeping with one of my friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 439

You deserved it 3 189

Today, I had to address a flatulence issue with an employee. Other employees are complaining about the smell. I have to continue addressing the issue until it stops. So far, I've talked to her about it 4 times. No end in sight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 433

You deserved it 3 155

Today, months into supporting my mum with her part time cleaning job by cooking dinner for my large family after university, I found out that she doesn't actually have a job, she just leaves the house for a few hours because she doesn't want to cook dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 381

You deserved it 2 807

Today, I woke up extremely hungover next to a guy I have been in love with for a while but hadn't seen for ages. Turns out he had a bet going with his mates. He bet he could get me to sleep with him straight away even after not calling me for a month. He was right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 095

You deserved it 29 253

Same thing different taste

Top comments

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