The long game

By helpme - 03/05/2017 02:00

Today, my gay best friend slept over, as he has many times during the past three years of our friendship. This time, however, he confessed to me that he's only pretended to be gay to get closer to me because he's in love with me. I've allowed my stalker to sleep in my house and in my bed for three years. FML
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Top comments

C8H18 33

1. Gay or not, why was he in your bed? 2. That's some strange restraint if he's in love with you and you two have been in bed with each other for years and never tried anything.

112 14
hunterseal 18

Did he pretend to be gay or maybe he has realized he is bisexual? If he pretended to be gay to everyone for you there is a serious problem. Overall the lie is weird,I think most straight guys wouldn't want the person they like to think they are gay.

77 3

Comments

ohsnapword 21

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

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5 21
RinoaHeartilly 36

I feel like, just because you wouldn't behave that way doesn't mean someone else wouldn't. Your experience is not everyone else's.

28 1
Kate Amanda 2

Not everybody's the same? Just cause you're honest doesn't mean everyone else also there's not such thing as changing sexualitys :)

5 5
ohsnapword 21

I'm not sure, but then again I've never went through it, so I can't say from experience. While I haven't heard of such a thing as a "gay gene", I don't think someone consciously decides to be LGBT.

2 0
bobsanction 18

That's not really "stalking". Bit crazy, but not stalking.

16 7
wawa_sxm 15

yeah if he is really your best friend after all these years just cuz he is not gay he is a stalker?! What kind of friend are you, just be like well i dont feel comfortable sharing a bed with you but even that is pushing it....it was never a problem before.....you are just coming off as a bad friend! Or are you one of those people who just wants a gay friend and now that he isn't you go from bestie to stalker?! Wow poor guy, he made some stupid mistakes but thats what you're there for, for support...smh

2 7
GhostFox 33

Uh. I don't think you understand what stalking is. Stalking is using any methods at ones disposal in order to gather information on their victim- including approaching them under false pretenses. He's also obviously NOT her friend or he wouldn't have lied to OP in order to get closer to her. He's probably lied dozens of not hundreds of times, and taken advantage of her trust. That isn't friendship- it is predatory behavior

0 0
PhoenixChick 26

Are...are you insane? I'm genuinely curious. You managed to completely miss the point of the post and sound very, very angry about the batshit version you made up in your head. OPs friend pretended to be gay it a plan that clearly worked- make her regard him as sexually non-threatening, so that she would allow him the kind of close friendship most women can have with female friends. It's was a lie. If he had been honest- that he wanted a sexual relationship- she would have known to keep him a little more distant for safety and for everyone's peace of mind. Lying about your intentions in order to close to someone is pretty damn creepy. Imagine if someone at a family reunion introduced themselves as your uncle, getting you to hug them, then grabbed your ass because it was all a ploy?

9 0
amberfox 11

To all the people wondering why they were sleeping in the same bed, that's pretty common for girls at sleepovers. And since there was nothing sexual between them, why not snuggle?

19 2
C8H18 33

I am a girl. Letting somebody else sleep with me in my bed who I am not in love with never ever crossed my mind.

2 8
siggy_mcsigx 22

It's often convenient to share beds in like hotel situations or where guests visit houses. I'm 23 and shared my cousin's bed with my mom while we visited family, and my cousin went to sleep with his brother. I'm a girl and I've never thought of sleeping with my friends as a big deal. I think it's weird to think of sharing in a bed as ONLY for romance and sex, just like thinking the naked human body is inherently sexual (it isn't). I guess this is all cultural.

8 2
C8H18 33

Sharing a bed is not strictly sexual to me. It's more of a safety issue. You're at your most vulnerable when you're unconscious, so why would you trust somebody to be around you? But maybe all of this has just proved I am a bit paranoid.

3 1
C8H18 33

Sharing a bed is not strictly sexual to me. It's more of a safety issue. You're at your most vulnerable when you're unconscious, so why would you trust somebody to be around you? But maybe all of this has just proved I am a bit paranoid.

1 1
blink831forever 13

No doubt about it, this is a serious FYL. Although you do have to give him credit for the level of dedication and focus. 3 years is a long time. If you can get over being scared, you might be able to feel complimented. But you should cut all ties with him as soon as possible. Hopefully he won't continue to stalk you. Or just move. Whichever works.

3 3
artybicardi 6

I call bullshit! I have girls that are best friends and we always fall asleep in the same bed and I'm also close friends with there boyfriends. He ain't a friend he's a snake in the grass nobody lies for that long and can still say they're a "good" friend or straight.

0 4
Kate Amanda 2

Well you did say he pretended to be gay but you can't say he's a stalker. Stalker is an unwanted presence... You LET HIM stay there. So.

3 6
GhostFox 33

He was there under false pretenses, because he knew that she wouldn't talk to him, let alone spend time with him, if she knew the truth. So yes, that is stalking, as he used the lie to mislead OP while he stalked her.

3 0
thatslifeiguess7 16

Omg this is funny

1 3
DEADPOOL076 30

This could be the plot to a 90's romantic comedy.

4 3
GhostFox 33

Try "creep," "lacking in morals," and a "waste of space." He spent three years conning OP, if he has any admirable traits, they have been buried under the used-needle filled shit that is everything else about him.

2 0