Work: The Office

The Office

By SweetFA - 20/08/2009 00:01 - Canada

Today, I brought my little sons into work with me. I introduced them to my boss, who said to my shy kids, "You boys don't know me, do you? I'm Janice." The older one lit up and said, "Oh, I know you, mommy complains about you all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 552

You deserved it 17 170

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Same thing different taste

That's awkward

By Dannotmann - 04/05/2021 22:01

Today, I took my wife and our 6 year-old son to a company party. Sometimes I take my son to work with me, so he knows my coworkers. One of them walked over and introduces herself to my wife, and my son says, "Yeah, they go to into the bathroom together all the time during break!"’ Thanks, son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 298

You deserved it 3 492

Storage wars

By ADayAtATime - 20/04/2024 06:00 - Australia - Wacol

Today, I brought my daughter to work with me. When we walked in, a client was blowing up at my boss, all because as my boss was walking past his storage unit, he glanced in and was about to compliment how neat it was. After my boss left, I had to deal with the aftermath, which left my daughter terrified of this man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 372

You deserved it 107

Mommy's boy

By Anonymous - 19/03/2022 22:00

Today, after I've spent years cultivating my reputation at work as a hardass who's good to his team, as long as they're competent and own up to mistakes, my mother came as a customer and suddenly I'm a kid all over again. She even tried to pat my head and ask if I'm eating enough. Now my team all keep smirking at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 302

By Laurel - 25/05/2013 04:37 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 914

You deserved it 9 075

Zing!

By Anonymous - 10/05/2022 14:00

Today, I met my coworker's kids during a cookout. I joked to her eldest son that he was awfully short for a seventeen-year-old. He responded, "Well, you're awfully ugly for the town slut." Everyone laughed, including my boss. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 2 112

New hire

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Brazil - Jacare

Today, my mom started her new job; she's now my new coworker. She's already told the other girl I'd said she talks too much, and has berated me for not calling her "Mom" while at work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 551

You deserved it 2 952

By Anonymous - 22/07/2016 17:19 - United States - Washington

Today, I had to deal with yet another day of people looking at my name tag and saying "You know nothing, John Snow." with a shit-eating grin, like they're the wittiest people alive. Then I had to deal with my boss telling me to lighten up, because it's "just a joke". FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 786

You deserved it 1 859

By Anonymous - 31/08/2012 23:16 - United States - Lancaster

Today, I had my boss over for dinner. Knowing that I was angling for a promotion, my fifteen-year-old son spent the dinner uttering lines such as "What's the point of showering before bed?" and "Bitches ain't shit but hoes and tricks." My boss was not impressed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 155

You deserved it 4 931

By DeeElleGee - 14/11/2009 00:09 - Canada

Today, at my work, I was ringing though a kid's purchase. I try to be friendly with the kids and when he handed me his cash I said "Thank you, sir!" in a playful manner. He then turns to his mom and says "Mom, why does everyone think I am a boy?". FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 283

You deserved it 6 112

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 20:32 - United States

Today, at work, a little boy shyly told his mom he thought I was cute. I smiled at him as she looked me up and down and said to him, "Eww, honey. No, you do not!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 840

You deserved it 3 167

funkyness 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 7:34

Haha. Kids say the darnest things!

rayrayy_fml 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 14:43

That's when you pipe up! "Oh, hahaha! No, sweetheart! That's Janice at school! Remember, the mean girl who always picks on your brother in class? Noo, this is my boss, Janice!" THEN YOU PRESENT A BIG WINNER'S SMILE!

Comments

SimpleSimon 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 10:10

Could have been worse: I know you, mummy says you're a useless bitch. I know you, you're daddy's special friend.

cooorah 0

Friday 21 August 2009 6:17

This person's not a daddy... she's a mommy. Don't assume things.

zhennan 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 10:17

haha, children speak the truth.

ssnepenthe 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 10:28

Monica...?

beardo8 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 10:42

A penile erection occurs when two tubular structures that run the length of the penis, the corpora cavernosa, become engorged with venous blood. This may result from any of various physiological stimuli, also known as sexual stimulation and sexual arousal. The corpus spongiosum is a single tubular structure located just below the corpora cavernosa, which contains the urethra, through which urine and semen pass during urination and ejaculation, respectively. This may also become slightly engorged with blood, but less so than the corpora cavernosa. After a male has ejaculated during a sexual encounter or masturbation, his erection usually ends, but this may take time depending on the length and thickness of the penis.

dallasFAN 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 10:44

this is a "Need a moment? chew it over with twix" moment.

BikerMike 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 11:38

Are you going to ask for a raise anytime soon?? #31 WTF???

xHaniffax 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 11:43

Just say their mum was talking about another Janice. I did that to my mum's boss when I was about 3. He called the home phone and introduced himself and I said "My mummy doesn't like you!". My mum just said that she(I) was talking about another guy with the same name....and he believed her...what a dumbass. but yeah you shoulda done that.