Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: The other's in the Albert Hall

The other's in the Albert Hall

By lone_ranger - 25/09/2009 11:13 - United States

Today, I told my girlfriend I have only one testicle. Her reaction? "Eeew, balls are gross!" I'm glad to know I'm only half as gross as other guys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 440

You deserved it 3 476

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Same thing different taste

It's not mine, dumbass

By Anonymous - 19/11/2019 01:00

Today, my girlfriend announced to me that she is pregnant and tried to tell me it was mine. I lost both testicles to an infection as a teenager so, no way it’s mine. Somehow, she never made the mental connection that no balls equals no children and no way to convince me I’m the dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 100

You deserved it 216

Observational comedy

By JackOLantern2099 - 17/12/2019 18:00

Today, my girlfriend and I saw each other naked for the first time. She said my balls looked like little acorns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 540

You deserved it 368

Sinking feeling

By aftermath1991 - 03/09/2009 07:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to sit for an hour listening to my girlfriend talk to her ex about his testicles. She laughed more during that conversation than she ever has with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 201

You deserved it 6 293

By Username - 21/08/2011 09:59 - United States

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 932

You deserved it 7 928

By Anonymous - 28/07/2015 00:08 - United States

Today, during a blowjob, my girlfriend decided to try something new by squeezing my balls as hard as she could as I came, for a "more intense orgasm". All she gave me was a ruptured testicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 244

You deserved it 2 963

By Anonymous - 06/08/2011 21:34 - United States

Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 113

You deserved it 4 886

Cuties

By Anonymous - 07/12/2020 02:02

Today, I shaved my penis and balls. When my girlfriend saw, she said, "You look like my little brother." He's 6 years-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 911

You deserved it 462

Unwarranted

By Ryan - 20/12/2011 17:57 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting hot and heavy. She had her shirt off, and commented on the small size of her breasts. Trying to make her feel better, I said I'd dated girls with smaller breasts. She replied by saying she'd dated bigger penises. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 689

You deserved it 60 146

By Battlebarney - 22/09/2016 10:58 - United States - Washington

Today, I learned that the burning sensation I get on my balls isn't from when my girlfriend poured hot sauce on my balls as a prank, it's actually gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 491

You deserved it 1 969

New balls

By Anonymous - 16/12/2019 12:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, my right testicle popped out during gym class while we were running laps. The teacher saw it and said, “Put that away! There aren’t any balls involved in this activity!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 788

You deserved it 682

Zapzip2013 0

Friday 25 September 2009 16:16

in soviet Russia balls have you.

ifinishlast 0

Friday 25 September 2009 16:49

YDI for having a 12 year old gf

Comments

clayton18 0

Thursday 24 December 2009 9:24

First of All, i'm sorry you have only one ********. Second of all your Gf needs to grow up bc guess what, those are what produce sperm so if she wants kids she better get used to it. Tell her to put 'em in her mouth till she isn't so grossed out anymore.

vsk8p1mp720 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 2:40

1 ball? how are u gunna Tbag?

SkateBoarding 4

Monday 2 January 2012 10:34

Haha good one lololoz

minenotyours 0

Wednesday 30 December 2009 20:19

how is this an fml? except for the fact that he has one ball I think it's good that his girlfriend doesn't like balls. she will be more accepting in the future. if she's a virgin then it's normal for her to think balls are gross. kudos to you for posting this on here ;)