Health: They call him Mighty Force

They call him Mighty Force

By Stiny - 01/06/2011 18:44 - United States

Today, I got kneed in the stomach by a sixth grader. I couldn't breathe. I have a black belt in Taekwondo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 299

You deserved it 15 643

When Christmas Ends Badly…
Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 10:28 - United States

Today, we sparred for Tae Kwon Do. I forgot my cup, but I didn't think anyone sucked enough to hit me below the belt. 5 seconds into a match, some girl knees me in the happy sacks. After writhing in pain for 30 seconds, I got back up to spar. I didn't think she sucked enough to do it again. She did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 050

You deserved it 31 042

By Karate Kid - 25/05/2012 06:29 - Australia - Surry Hills

Today, I was showing some new karate moves in the park to my friends. I mimed a punch behind a girl walking past to show my technique and control, but she must have seen me. She turned around and kicked me in the stomach. To add insult to injury, her technique was better than mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 972

You deserved it 35 381

By Anonymous - 13/07/2013 04:37 - Canada - Kinburn

Today, I was doing a demonstration in front of my taekwondo class because I'm flexible. Really flexible. I kneed myself in the face and broke my nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 582

You deserved it 10 838

By wrestling probs - 26/05/2015 02:24 - United States

Today, I was wrestling in a tournament. I was in the finals about to win when the kid threw up on me. They thought I'd hit him in the stomach hard enough to make him throw up, so they disqualified me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 766

You deserved it 2 016

By TKDConnor92 - 22/07/2011 10:51 - United Kingdom

Today, I was helping a 7 year-old student in my martial arts class with his kicks. My reward? A surprisingly powerful kick to the testicles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 660

You deserved it 6 733

By GoDiarrhea - 04/03/2010 18:52 - Argentina

Today, I came down with sudden diarrhea while at taekwondo practice. I discreetly called my dad for a pickup, but on our way out, he told my instructor that I had to go because I was "shitting my pants with fear". He did this in front of all my classmates. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 466

You deserved it 2 854

By Pfff - 11/12/2008 10:40 - France

Today, I argued with a boy from school over a girl. I didn't know he was a black belt judoka. I'm still in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 423

You deserved it 8 126

Worst prank ever

By Dexter - 21/05/2023 18:00

Today, I was in school when I got up to ask the teacher a question. For no reason, the guy sitting next to me punched me in the gut so hard I collapsed and saw stars. The teacher simply rolled her eyes and told me to get back to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 111

Take that

By anonymous - 26/01/2010 12:55 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my Muay Thai class. We were doing a combination which consisted of a low kick, body kick and head kick. My partner had already done the low kick so I held the pads for the body kick. He kicked me straight in the jaw. I'm a teenage girl and he's a fully grown man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 278

You deserved it 3 807

Jogging is bad for you

By Broken - 17/06/2009 14:12 - United States

Today, I was running with my sister's dog. It had the brilliant idea of shooting between my legs and I immediately faceplanted on the cement. I now have a swollen nose and cuts all over my body. I'm a grown man who does martial arts and I got beat up by a dog the size of a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 928

You deserved it 6 760

ihasbrains 10

Wednesday 1 June 2011 23:53

At least it wasn't your balls

omfgTACOsYeSs 0

Wednesday 1 June 2011 23:54

Watch Kung Fu Panda 2, that shit teaches the best moves.

Comments

Rectov 10

Sunday 23 August 2015 6:16

How did you get a black belt if you can't do something as simple as block a knee. I'm a yellow belt and I can do that. Fyl indeed, my friend

animesushi 5

Saturday 30 April 2016 21:25

Taekwondo is more like Tae-kwon-don't, am I right? Hahaha it's a bs martial art ???

GetRekt123456789 8

Thursday 16 June 2016 7:26

If spelling is a self defense class, you would have a white belt in it.

nentenkupo 16

Sunday 7 January 2018 7:41

Holy shit, that 6th grader is the next Chuck Norris!!! FYL!

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Management Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Coworkers Relatable Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Animals ADHD Dogs Transportation Love Dating Health Anxiety Technology Mental health Sleep Roommate Clumsy Noise AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, while I was mid-act with my girlfriend, my mom unlocked my bedroom door and came in shaking maracas. She then handed them to my very shocked girlfriend and told her these were the "Busted maracas" and directed her to pass them along accordingly. Well, at least our first time was memorable… FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 441

You deserved it 365

Today, thanks to pregnancy hormones, I had the most vivid dream of eating a caramel apple mousse cake with vanilla bean ice cream. Unfortunately, yesterday, also thanks to pregnancy hormones, I was diagnosed with diabetes. My dreams are taunting me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 932

You deserved it 266

The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. Just as we were ready, his mom called to wish us a happy anniversary. She was so excited for us, she was going to stop by. After throwing out our unused and only spare condom, she called us again and said she was just kidding, and to enjoy ourselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 886

You deserved it 5 861

Today, my ultra-Christian neighbor called the cops on me (again). This time, it was because she could smell "weed" coming from my apartment. I was burning sage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 109

Today, I left my brand new iPod Touch outside. There had been a drought for the past 3 weeks. Not anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 692

You deserved it 67 911

Today, me and my boyfriend were just about to have sex and I was so excited to do it just like the movies. He carried me up and just as he was about to lay me on the bed he sneezed, dropping me at the same time. I hit my head. Now I have 12 stitches where my eyebrow used to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 86 060

You deserved it 8 207

Today, after 4 years of being single, I decided to go back to the dating scene. I downloaded Tinder. My matches run for the hills as soon as I show them a full body pic of myself. One guy even told me to delete the app from my phone, because if “guys wanted to go whaling, they’d go out to sea.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 763

You deserved it 393

Today, I found out that the "vines" I was cutting down this morning were actually poison oak. I can only see out of one eye, and I'm virtually unrecognizable due to the facial swelling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 278

You deserved it 4 173