Mental health, Medication and Miscellaneous: They're after us!

They are trying to kill us. Seriously..just listen to her and you might survive the Gnome Apocolypse. If you want any tips..ask. I have my survival kit made and everything.

lauralavenderbab 0

Wednesday 7 December 2011 6:17

garden gnomes are freaky

Unknown_stranger 0

Sunday 8 January 2012 23:24

Attack of the gnomes!!!

zombie0niqqa 0

Monday 16 January 2012 14:23

That sounds like my uncle.

SexyDrPepper 2

Sunday 27 May 2012 5:08

can't trust those motherfuckers

SaintJimmy21 19

Thursday 29 August 2013 21:08

Buzz, Woody, Chucky, Slappy... just wait and see...!

bazookajoey 27

Friday 18 October 2013 6:39

Killer gnomes are real man!

BrittBratt6567 7

Sunday 19 January 2014 7:04

ummmm?

fantasyworld 37

Monday 5 May 2014 18:23

Those things are evil.

CFSH01 11

Tuesday 23 October 2018 8:19

she either needs to start taking medication, or stop taking medication

Keywords

Miscellaneous TV shows Coworkers Work Awkward Politics Embarrassing Ironic Relatable Transportation Instagram Social Media Shopping Parenting Love AITA Am I overreacting? Jealousy Kids Friends Dogs Pranks Housework Cars Technology Porn Health Sports Accident Mental health

The Top

Today, I was in the shower having a little fun with the detachable shower head. I didn’t know anyone else was home until I heard a toilet flush and scalding hot water flooded my cooch. I think I need to go to the ER, but I’m too embarrassed to ask for a ride there. I can’t walk or sit properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 551

You deserved it 618

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here" from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 986

You deserved it 8 121

The Top

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 175

You deserved it 3 054

Today, I fell asleep in my last period class. When I woke up my teacher said "you missed your bus". I grabbed all my stuff and ran out the room. My class mates were standing outside the class laughing. We still had an hour left in class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 659

You deserved it 59 284

Today, I found out my wife's sister is an antivaxxer, and my wife is headed that way too. Our first baby is due next February. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 607

You deserved it 203

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140 041

You deserved it 40 195

Today, and every time I try to talk to my mother about being a lesbian, she just says in the most condescending way, "Oh no you're not sweetie, it’s just a phase." The "phase" has lasted 17 years, including marrying my wife and adopting twin sons, but sure, it’s “just a phase.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 745

You deserved it 244

Today, I used text-to-speech just so that I can hear "I love you" for once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 217

You deserved it 7 593