Moving home, Alcohol and Love: This aged well

This aged well

By rugs - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while moving, I asked my wife where she put the alcohol. She told me she threw it out, because it was old. It was Scotch. It's supposed to be old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 161

You deserved it 5 927

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Same thing different taste

By uvagirl - 05/07/2013 01:32 - United States

Today, I came back to my apartment after moving most of my stuff out. Upon returning, I learned that my now ex-roommate drank all of my alcohol and threw away my things, thinking that I had forgotten them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 289

You deserved it 3 848

Can't stop, won't stop

By Matt8 - 07/12/2012 01:07 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife, who is supposed to be a recovering alcoholic, drank an entire bottle of wine and then tried to hide it at the bottom of a garbage bin. To make matters worse, when I confronted her about it, she tried to convince me that our 5-year-old daughter had drunk it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 438

You deserved it 2 112

Dumbass

By Anonymous - 31/08/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom - Castleford

Today, my son tried my year great-grandad's 90 year-old whiskey, didn’t like it, and poured it all down the sink. When I confronted him, he confidently told me it was nasty and must have expired, so he did me a favour and poured it away and washed the bottle. I had to walk away and remind myself I love him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 526

You deserved it 116

Sweet dude

By no booze blues - 21/10/2020 08:01 - United States

Today, I was cleaning out some cabinets and stumbled upon a bottle of vodka. Being a recovering alcoholic, I immediately flushed it down the toilet. When my boyfriend got home, instead of being proud of my victory, he bitched me out for wasting the good shit. That’s for the support babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 468

You deserved it 300

By liquorless - 05/11/2012 14:02 - Canada - Hamilton

Today, my girlfriend's mother came over for a few hours. After she left I went to grab a drink, only to find that three bottles of expensive liquor were missing from our liquor cabinet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 181

You deserved it 1 958

Hoarders

By juggalo2 - 19/07/2023 12:00

Today, my wife can barely contain her rage at me for throwing out her collection of unique glass bottles, which she was saving for gifting and decoration. I'd feel more guilt if she hadn't been storing them in a box underneath our sink mixed with recyclables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 843

You deserved it 203

By Anonymous - 16/11/2010 02:02 - United States

Today, my wife and I had one of the biggest arguments we've ever had, which resulted in her leaving, going to her parents' house and calling me twice, screaming and sobbing. The argument was over a seven dollar bottle of wine. Apparently, she was "saving it for a special occasion." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 342

You deserved it 5 252

My precious

By Qoqo - 14/08/2021 22:01

Today, I found my wife crying. She said she’d lost her diamond ring. I backtracked her activities and suggested where to look. She found it in the fridge. She now thinks I hid it there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 062

You deserved it 107

By Anonymous - 01/05/2019 04:00

Today, I noticed that my 80-year-old mother has gone through 50+ bottles of my home-made wine. She only moved in with me a month ago. And now I have no wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 214

You deserved it 233

Hey how are you?

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - New Zealand - Auckland

Today, I came home early to surprise my wife. No, it's not what you're thinking: I didn't find her cheating on me. She wasn't even home, but my dad was. He'd used his spare key and was on my sofa, drinking my beer, and watching my TV. The first words out of his mouth? "Your beer's shit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 221

You deserved it 4 360

Emrysa 1

Friday 6 August 2010 12:20

Tell her since she thinks old things are usless, you're going to toss her in the trash if she keeps aging.

sweetdreams999 0

Friday 6 August 2010 12:22

lmao wow you wife must really not be a drinker.

Comments

socalduude879 1

Friday 6 August 2010 21:47

haha your wife is a champ! go make her buy some more :D and I'll stick to my non-alcoholic beverages xD

orangesodaftw 0

Friday 6 August 2010 21:52

Hard lemonade is for wussies. Tequila is amazing!!!

ohJeeznotme 7

Friday 6 August 2010 22:43

with a wife like that you need more scotch...

mR_StAtiiC 0

Friday 6 August 2010 23:08

Ydi for not telling her.. :)

Flyboy63 2

Friday 6 August 2010 23:14

your wife is an idiot!!

alex1432 9

Saturday 7 August 2010 0:17

Captain Morgan is where it's at!

hpfan123456 0

Saturday 7 August 2010 0:23

no one cares u retard

jdfml90 0

Saturday 7 August 2010 2:04

I love scotch, scotchy scotch scotch, here it goes down, in to my belly.. seriously fyl. scotch is nice

hedgehogs 0

Saturday 7 August 2010 2:54

My husband would probably divorce me if I did that, never mind that we've been together since 1978.

Felecorr 0

Saturday 7 August 2010 4:07

YDI for marrying a dumb drinker.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I went on vacation. We flew 2000 miles, got off the plane, got our bags and stood outside the airport for our ride. She looks at me and says, "I can't do this anymore." So, she broke up with me and flew back home. Now I'm on vacation alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 328

You deserved it 4 035

Today, I was supposed to be working from home. Instead, I ended up taking the kids out to the park for the morning, because my wife “couldn’t even” today. When we got home, she had demolished two bottles of wine, and was masturbating to a home improvement show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 043

You deserved it 326

The Top

Today, I found out the position I thought I had earned by working hard was only to separate me from my coworkers because I "talked too much". Instead of addressing the issue like adults, I've essentially been put in time-out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 990

You deserved it 8 074

Today, my brother woke me up by hitting me in the face with a rubber dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 207

You deserved it 230

Today, I found out my boyfriend of 5 years thinks that it is too expensive to get married, go on vacations, concerts, etc., but spends $100+/month on Hentai. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 955

You deserved it 478

Today, while trying on an outfit in the dressing room at the mall, I got locked in. I decided to take 5 minutes to try and get out by crawling under the door. After I got out, I realized I left my cell phone, my purse and my pants inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 946

You deserved it 34 644

Today, a girl stole my heart. She also stole my wallet, phone, and keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 087

You deserved it 1 593

Today, I found out that my girlfriend was cheating on me. Her excuse? I was the one that had initially introduced them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 083

You deserved it 3 803