Sex, Weird, Wanker and Intimacy: TMI, dude

TMI, dude

By linren - 28/03/2009 18:40 - United States

Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had "something serious" to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was two hours long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 311

You deserved it 7 649

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Same thing different taste

By Me - 31/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 658

You deserved it 3 169

By ac13 - 27/06/2010 18:03 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 028

You deserved it 3 793

By Taylor - 21/04/2014 04:04 - United States - Dubuque

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 352

You deserved it 8 189

Timing is important

By effingdoucher - 30/01/2011 06:07 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 841

You deserved it 11 029

By 5220 - 21/04/2009 13:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 821

You deserved it 4 631

By Anonymous - 24/05/2009 12:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, and a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 033

You deserved it 4 860

BFF

By imabadperson - 06/03/2010 12:24 - United States

Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 523

You deserved it 44 540

By orgasmicriding - 22/12/2012 22:55 - United States - Wyandotte

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 252

You deserved it 7 004

By Maria39018 - 01/08/2009 18:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 526

You deserved it 13 712

And today on Maury…

By Anonymous - 24/04/2020 20:00

Today, I was driving my best friend home when he admitted to being gay. I was glad he could trust me with a secret like this. Until he admitted to having sex with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 704

You deserved it 207

Aldrasio 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:02

Sounds like he was trying for a pity ****.

rockandrollbf 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:03

Oh, that sucks. One of my ex-boyfriends 'confessed' the same thing to me, but it was about watching ****. Once. ._____.

Comments

kisekileia 0

Wednesday 8 April 2009 11:19

This poor guy needs to get counseling for his issues with sexual shame and get out of whatever ****** up religious group brainwashed him into thinking there's something abnormal about a guy needing to jack off.

4zn 0

Sunday 12 April 2009 23:46

maybe he wanted to turn you on

playful2088 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 4:43

help the poor guy out and do him.

normandin131 0

Thursday 16 April 2009 5:28

Doesn't he know there isn't anything wrong with masturbation? OR maybe he was trying to hint at you not satisfying him sexually and felt like being extremely cryptic.

PrettyVal 0

Friday 24 April 2009 16:19

Who cares? Masturbation happens. You should reassure him instead of posting an FML about it, because really that's not much of an FML.

doneskie 0

Tuesday 5 May 2009 1:07

ok how many times do you have to do it a day to be considered an addiction?

bella114 0

Saturday 25 July 2009 4:58

As long as u do it every day.... you're considered addicted. :s

EnochDravenHyde 0

Tuesday 12 May 2009 7:02

What's his problem? Compulsive masturbation? That's not a problem, it's a free stress reliever! It sounds to me like his problem is stupid women who will never understand the beauty of what it is to be male.

fp_nbl 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 21:38

i had a boyfriend like that, however he couldn't admit it, instead he just denied it. We broke up.

ZWolfeh 0

Monday 15 June 2009 3:51

#110 is an idiot for breaking up with her bf for denying he masturbates. And to the OP: FHL for not having a girlfriend that is not willing to listen to him without posting about it on Fmylife.

Sadface01 0

Tuesday 30 June 2009 9:36

whats wrong with being addicted to ************ everybody has done it at least once or twice but i shouldnt be tiping this cause im addictd to it to oh hell its 2 int the morning so ima go