Sex, Weird, Wanker and Intimacy: TMI, dude

TMI, dude

By linren - 28/03/2009 18:40 - United States

Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had "something serious" to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was two hours long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 311

You deserved it 7 649

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Same thing different taste

By Me - 31/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 658

You deserved it 3 169

By ac13 - 27/06/2010 18:03 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 028

You deserved it 3 793

By Taylor - 21/04/2014 04:04 - United States - Dubuque

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 352

You deserved it 8 189

Timing is important

By effingdoucher - 30/01/2011 06:07 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 841

You deserved it 11 029

By 5220 - 21/04/2009 13:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 821

You deserved it 4 631

By Anonymous - 24/05/2009 12:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, and a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 033

You deserved it 4 860

BFF

By imabadperson - 06/03/2010 12:24 - United States

Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 523

You deserved it 44 540

By orgasmicriding - 22/12/2012 22:55 - United States - Wyandotte

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 252

You deserved it 7 004

By Maria39018 - 01/08/2009 18:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 526

You deserved it 13 712

And today on Maury…

By Anonymous - 24/04/2020 20:00

Today, I was driving my best friend home when he admitted to being gay. I was glad he could trust me with a secret like this. Until he admitted to having sex with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 704

You deserved it 207

Aldrasio 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:02

Sounds like he was trying for a pity ****.

rockandrollbf 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:03

Oh, that sucks. One of my ex-boyfriends 'confessed' the same thing to me, but it was about watching ****. Once. ._____.

Comments

Ladeeedah 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 15:59

He obviously trusts you, way to be sensitive about it.

littlefrog_fml 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 16:33

I'm with #19, he probably build up a lot of nerve to tell you.

Lilibell_fml 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 16:43

your life isnt f***d... don't add this things!

ZuRG_fml 7

Sunday 29 March 2009 16:51

@#8, #20, #23, ..., #69, #72: There's a difference between "jacking and being ashamed of it a'cos Jebus sez so" and an addiction. An addiction crosses into "I want to stop but I can't" and masturbating as a response to loneliness/etc, to the detriment of other parts of your life. See http://www.wikihow.com/Stop-a-Masturbation-Addiction , I looked at some other results on google but this was the first that wasn't a thinly-veiled "if you were in holy matrimony with a proper Christian baby cannon, you'd never need to sin."

dcapp 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 16:59

i agree with #4 don't be a dick about it. he has a problem and he's confiding in you and asking you to help him that is really rude that you are posting this on a website

yep_me_again 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 17:29

does he happen to be the hPuerto Rican singer who recently joined the half-mile club?

Occam 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 18:42

He's probably religious.

f_ckerdef_ck 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 18:45

lame

ludachrisZ 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 20:59

put out for him so he doesnt have to beat his meat soo much

stinebean 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 21:37

All these "put out so he doesnt do it anymore" is all crap, you don't just substitute an addiction. Besides, maybe it's a bigger problem if it interferes with his intimacy with a partner or if it starts to interfere with other parts of his life. I agree that it's normal for all guys to do, I know my longterm bf does and I don't care.. it's good for his sperm quality for when we actually want kids haha. For a new bf though, that would be crazy awkward to talk about!