Sex, Weird, Wanker and Intimacy: TMI, dude

TMI, dude

By linren - 28/03/2009 18:40 - United States

Today, I was riding in the car with my new boyfriend. He had "something serious" to tell me. He started to emotionally confess his addiction to masturbation. In detail. The drive was two hours long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94 311

You deserved it 7 649

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Same thing different taste

By Me - 31/01/2010 05:01 - United States

Today, I got to talk to the guy I like. Thinking it would be about something pleasant. I was completely wrong. It was about the guy who sits in front of me and his masturbation problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 658

You deserved it 3 169

By ac13 - 27/06/2010 18:03 - United States

Today, I called my boyfriend to tell him how excited I was to drive 12 hours to see him and his new house. His girlfriend answered. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 028

You deserved it 3 793

By Taylor - 21/04/2014 04:04 - United States - Dubuque

Today, my boyfriend drove 20 miles to come see me. The closest we got to intimacy was him showing me how he could unlock his iPhone 5s with his penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 352

You deserved it 8 189

Timing is important

By effingdoucher - 30/01/2011 06:07 - United States

Today, I was having sex with a guy I met at my friend's party. He stopped mid-thrust, climbed off, and started talking about how nervous he is about buying his first car next week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 841

You deserved it 11 029

By 5220 - 21/04/2009 13:13 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were driving back to college. He broke up with me 2 hours into the 3 hour drive. I had to sit in the car with him for the last hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 821

You deserved it 4 631

By Anonymous - 24/05/2009 12:43 - United States

Today, my girlfriend's dad asked me if I wanted to drive his 2008 Jaguar XKR. Excitedly, I agreed. He then spent the next hour discussing with me how masturbation is a great alternative to sex, and a great way to remain abstinent. I didn't get to drive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 033

You deserved it 4 860

BFF

By imabadperson - 06/03/2010 12:24 - United States

Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 523

You deserved it 44 540

By orgasmicriding - 22/12/2012 22:55 - United States - Wyandotte

Today, because my boyfriend drives a 2-seated sports car, I had to awkwardly sit on his brother's lap as we drove to the store. I soon felt a poking sensation through his pants, just a few minutes before we hit a bumpy road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 252

You deserved it 7 004

By Maria39018 - 01/08/2009 18:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be totally honest with each other. We even told some of our deepest, darkest secrets, in hopes of strengthening our relationship. He told me he had a diaper fetish, and would love to see me in one. There goes my sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 526

You deserved it 13 712

And today on Maury…

By Anonymous - 24/04/2020 20:00

Today, I was driving my best friend home when he admitted to being gay. I was glad he could trust me with a secret like this. Until he admitted to having sex with my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 704

You deserved it 207

Aldrasio 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:02

Sounds like he was trying for a pity ****.

rockandrollbf 0

Saturday 28 March 2009 23:03

Oh, that sucks. One of my ex-boyfriends 'confessed' the same thing to me, but it was about watching ****. Once. ._____.

Comments

pb_fml 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 22:24

FHS, not yours. He's trusting you, even if it's a new boyfriend. He's giving you a heads up.

wow_just_wow 0

Sunday 29 March 2009 23:30

well at least next time someone says hes having sex with some1 else youll know its his right hand

xsouldeath 2

Monday 30 March 2009 1:05

GIVE HIM ACTION MUCH> mast= LONELY . Oh ya I forgot girls have 0 sex drive... .. No wonder u don't understand :D

xsouldeath 2

Monday 30 March 2009 1:07

GIVE HIM ACTION MUCH> mast= LONELY . Oh ya I forgot girls have 0 sex drive... .. No wonder u don't understand :D SERIOUSLY OFFER TO JACK HIM OFF IS THE BEST IDEA. UNLESS UR A DOLL .. THAT HE PAMPERS AND SPEND all his cash on..just for you to let him suffer. You are torturing him with INACTION. be a GIRL. Or you might as well be his GIRL WHO IS A FRIEND instead of a girlfriend. Or say "YOU have my permission to get action from any girl" .. Or get him a hooker. If you're not going to please him yourself.

rampagexo 7

Sunday 9 December 2012 5:12

You, sir, are a ******* moron.

JFox 8

Monday 30 March 2009 1:23

All the people who are saying the addiction will go away when you have sex with him have very little understanding of the word "addiction." People who are addicted to masturbation don't just ********** a lot. They have almost no control over the urge to ********** and will do it several times a day, sometimes in public restrooms because they just can't suppress the urge. This INTERFERES with regular sex, and often those with such an addiction cannot maintain or GET an erection during intercourse because they've already masturbated so much that day. They can't say "I'm going to have sex later, I should wait," "I'm in school, this is inappropriate," or "I'm chafed and barely even aroused," because they're ADDICTED to it. A smoker can't say "this is bad for my lungs, I won't smoke anymore." A drunk can't say "it's 11am, I won't drink." A crack head can't say "I just sucked another guy's dick for a drug that's killing me, this is wrong." It just doesn't work like that. There is a real problem here, and all you can do is post "eww gross" on the internet when the poor guy TRUSTED YOU. I have no sympathy for you. I don't care if it's a "new" boyfriend, the first step is admitting you have a problem, and when it comes to a sexual problem you're going to tell your significant other, because your parents may punish you and your friends may laugh at you.