Transportation: Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs.... - FML

By Noname - 05/03/2009 00:29 - United States

Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 451

You deserved it 4 059

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/06/2012 19:01 - United States - San Diego

Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 099

You deserved it 2 143

By Anonymous - 26/03/2012 10:53 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, a man on the subway serenaded me. That's not the issue. He was cross-eyed, making it hard for me not to laugh in his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 310

You deserved it 30 282

By fmylifebad - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 147

You deserved it 12 196

By Anonymous - 15/11/2013 09:45 - United Kingdom - Bicester

Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 421

You deserved it 4 043

By anonmys - 18/07/2010 21:47 - United States

Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 462

You deserved it 19 431

By belladonna - 26/02/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 219

You deserved it 79 286

I'm a creep

By Anonymous - 21/12/2024 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, I realized my reflection in the subway window wasn’t just my reflection - it was an actual person sitting outside the train, making the same face as me. We both jumped when we locked eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 364

You deserved it 97

By ilovecowboys - 26/02/2010 09:09 - New Zealand

Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 880

You deserved it 7 048

By creepyguy - 26/12/2009 12:06 - Australia

Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 303

You deserved it 9 961

By ruvru - 10/04/2009 17:13 - United States

Today, while lying next to me, my boyfriend smiled and told me, "I really like your eyes. They're pretty." He paused and then finished with, "They really help your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 706

You deserved it 4 122

Next

Top comments

Jimboom 11

Thursday 5 March 2009 12:45

Probably because he either wanted to lick them or eat them

N07H666 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 14:21

that's one creative pickup line!!! I gotta remember that one

Comments

000001 0

Friday 6 March 2009 20:10

Sounds like a cannibal. But hey, at least you got a compliment. :D If you see him again, though, you must run the other way.

emcollin 0

Friday 6 March 2009 23:31

That's what you get for having nice eyeballs ;)

xxperez 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 4:42

today a creepy man at the beach asked me if i wanted to see a ship on fire.

alotta_fachina 0

Saturday 7 March 2009 12:26

#28... QFT. don't let him kidnap you and gouge them out. O_O

basketball03 0

Sunday 8 March 2009 4:03

thts funnyy i laughed for a good 5 mins and 31# LOL

mattboehm 0

Monday 9 March 2009 8:46

so did he ask you out???

indie_chick1 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 3:15

That's kind of creepy.. on your part.

cra_z_turtle 0

Saturday 14 March 2009 5:24

whoa... well everyone says I have this "stare" (I do not, it's just my normal eyeballs) and that I'm giving them the evil eye all the time and it's really annoying, they won't stop. so be grateful. I'd like everyone to say I have nice eyeballs, even the creepy man on the subway (maybe. possibly.)

JIMSY 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 12:27

this is actually a line from weeds in a strange way its kinda a nice compliment

DarcysLetter 0

Monday 16 March 2009 4:12

that is SO awesome. i wish someone would tell me that, i think that's hilarious

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The Top

Today, after weeks of coming home to find my furniture all tipped over, thinking the place was haunted, and accepting my boyfriend's offers to come over and "comfort" me, I came home from work early. I found my boyfriend in the kitchen, kicking over all the chairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 788

You deserved it 8 674

Today, my girlfriend told me that her fear of PDA has gotten so bad, she doesn't think she'll even be able to kiss me on our wedding day. Her parents are going be there and she can't imagine showing affection in front of other people, let alone her parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 639

You deserved it 3 224

The Top

Today, I told my friend about a fight I had earlier with my girlfriend. He thought it'd be funny to use my phone while I was in the bathroom and text her "ure such a cunt". She wouldn't believe the truth, even when my friend confessed to her. She thought I paid him to take the fall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 493

You deserved it 2 477

Today, I attended my college roommate's wedding. We were best friends for 4 years, but have only talked occasionally since graduation. I was looking forward to meeting her new husband, having heard so much about him during our conversations. Turns out she forgot to mention he's my ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 199

You deserved it 2 431

Today, I was playing Badminton in P.E, and I was paired with a particularly pretty girl, who for some reason kept asking stupid questions that we both knew the answers to. I've only now just realized that she was trying to initiate conversation with me. This is why I have no friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 599

You deserved it 7 221

Today, my mother-in-law said: "People who don't have kids are children of the devil." I'm infertile, she knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 786

You deserved it 139

Today, my washing machine broke down, within its warranty. I asked my neighbour if she could open the door for the mechanic while I was at work; she agreed. When I came home, I had a bill for 80 bucks for not opening the door. Her reason? She was busy watching her favorite TV show. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 601

You deserved it 5 139

Today, I went to see a movie with my parents. During a sex scene, my dad covered my eyes. I'm married and have 2 kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 980

You deserved it 984