Holidays: Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status...

By ineedalifekay - 24/05/2009 06:43 - Canada

Today, none of my 500 Facebook friends responded to my status about "who wants to hang out during summer holidays?" I created an imaginary person on a different account to respond and ask me to hang out with him. I had a conversation on my status, with myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 008

You deserved it 46 415

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Clout chasing

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes, or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 588

You deserved it 47 235

Passive agressive

By pointlessperson - 06/02/2009 14:28 - Canada

Today, I hung out with a friend who has been too busy to hang out with me in a few months. I decided to make the day super special with fun plans and spent a lot of money doing so. When I got home, her Facebook status said, "Pointless day, gone to bed." FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 806

You deserved it 3 020

By chocolaterabbit - 02/11/2009 12:41 - Australia

Today, my friends created a fake Facebook profile of a girl, and asked me to be in a relationship. Even my friends think I can't get a real girlfriend, and need a fake one to feel better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 163

You deserved it 4 478

Mixed signals

By Leota - 15/08/2011 16:20 - United States

Today, I received a message on Facebook from a guy I've liked for a year. He asked me if I wanted to hang out, so I said yes. When I walked out to his car later on, he gave me a really confused look. Apparently I was on my brother's Facebook, and he'd never logged out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 222

You deserved it 13 063

By ashbox233 - 09/11/2010 04:18 - United States

Today, someone reckoned that I would never be in a relationship. So I made up this whole story about some made up guy named 'Nick' and posted stuff on my Facebook and Myspace that I'm dating him. Now all my friends want to meet him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 170

You deserved it 85 556

By NoLife - 15/05/2011 18:49 - United States

Today, I purposely went offline on Facebook chat, just so people would think I actually have a life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 082

You deserved it 34 729

By sounfair90 - 27/05/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, I felt left out by the fact that all my friends are getting married or have great relationships, and my boyfriend won't commit. I made a Facebook up and pretended to talk with this really cute guy I made up. Today, I found out that my boyfriend is gay when he started hitting on my made-up Facebook guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 748

You deserved it 21 428

By bbb - 11/01/2017 07:36

Today, I wasn't able to reply to Facebook chat message immediately, so my friends planned holiday and bought flights without me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 809

You deserved it 879

Party hard!

By _Emilyy - 12/07/2011 04:40 - United States

Today, I updated my Facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 531

You deserved it 10 528

By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 03:27 - United States

Today, I sent a friend request on facebook to the only person I became friends with this semester at college. He denied me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 185

You deserved it 4 372

Bryan_Z 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 15:59

^Did you create another account here to comment on your FML? :p (never mind 3 others responded and ruined it XD)

Endymion_fml 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 16:07

Facebook friends are not actual friends.

Comments

gamerdude94 1

Sunday 24 May 2009 15:58

haha woww.

canesul 0

Thursday 18 February 2010 14:14

get a pet

hubbabubbba 0

Sunday 23 May 2010 14:40

pet?????? no. a pet wud reuine her chance of hanging out cuz u need to clean it, give it lots of attention ect......petsa

hubbabubbba 0

Sunday 23 May 2010 14:42

pets....not my choice  messed up

xHaniffax 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 15:59

Don't use the bloody word "proceeded" ffs it does not make your FML sound better it's retarded.

Meisuruler 0

Wednesday 20 July 2011 22:13

Just because you can't understand what the word "proceeded" doesn't make it retarded

loveishope 4

Friday 1 March 2013 0:16

He didn't use the word proceed

musigreg 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 15:59

WOW , doesn't someone need friends, thats really sad.

poohbear_xoxo 0

Thursday 12 April 2012 5:24

That's not nice -____-

Bryan_Z 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 15:59

^Did you create another account here to comment on your FML? :p (never mind 3 others responded and ruined it XD)

WhyMe1_2_3 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 16:00

some one needs to get laid...

diki_fml 2

Sunday 24 May 2009 16:01

#4 LOL

noshitsherlock 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 16:02

wow... are ANY of them IRL friends?

dickinabox 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 16:05

Don't be passive about making plans with friends. Pick someone and call them up.

Endymion_fml 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 16:07

Facebook friends are not actual friends.

soccerkrzy 0

Sunday 24 May 2009 16:11

You must still be young or something. I know I never look at facebook anymore unless if it e-mails me...

juliarose002 0

Monday 2 May 2011 16:53

dude. I'm 14 and my parents are in their 40s. my parents pull out their blackberry at red lights just to check their facebook. hahaha

Keywords

Love Cheating Money Relatable Work Jealousy My ex Health Accident Medication ADHD Weather Snow Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Am I overreacting? Relationship advice Weird AITA Dating Sleep Annoying Parents Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight

The Top

Today, the woman I love, who rejected me countless times, got a boyfriend. Bitter about it, I post on my Instagram Story: “I could have been your love bug, but apparently you’re into roaches.” She posted a story of them kissing, saying, “I love my roach so much!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 1 350

Today, my father had a dream that he'd lost me forever, and the pain was so unbearable, it woke him up. Turns out, the pain he was experiencing was just his bowels and he really needed to take a shit. This is the most affection I've ever received from my father. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 032

You deserved it 3 461

The Top

Today, I thought it would be a good idea for me and my colleague to fuck in the bathroom that no one uses. Turns out, the president of the company, who was here for a visit, had picked the perfect day to use it. Now we’re jobless and potentially spouseless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 132

You deserved it 1 720

Today, I woke up after a night of partying and heavy drinking. Apparently word travels quickly, because everyone now knows that I spent hours lying in an empty bathtub, rubbing shampoo over my body with the expectation that it'd increase my penis size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 024

You deserved it 34 869

Today, I'm on the last few days of my period. After nothing came out the whole day, a dollop of blood suddenly poured out, somehow managed to entirely circumvent the giant pad I was wearing, and went straight into my underwear, pants, and the chair I was sitting on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 476

You deserved it 158

Today, my ex-boyfriend tried to poison my dog, all because I cheated on him. I’m getting bitched at for “breaking his heart” and “attempting to get him in trouble.” Nobody cares what he did to my dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 784

You deserved it 1 220

Today, my workplace was having a "prices are down" promotion. I had to wear a badge that said, "Down and staying down" all day, opening myself up to a lot of weirdos winking at me or saying, "Oh yeah, I bet you are". FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 835

You deserved it 3 237

Today, I was grounded for not agreeing with an article on dating my mom found in a very strict magazine. The article told parents to monitor phone calls, make rumors about their children cheating on people and not allow their children anywhere but home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 509

You deserved it 3 143

Same thing different taste

Clout chasing

Passive agressive

Mixed signals

Party hard!

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