Transportation: Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs.... - FML

By Noname - 05/03/2009 00:29 - United States

Today, a creepy man on the subway said he liked my eyeballs. It was the best compliment I've received in months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64 445

You deserved it 4 058

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/06/2012 19:01 - United States - San Diego

Today, I volunteered at a soup kitchen. During the rounds, a grisly but nice young fellow told me that I had beautiful eyes. I was quite touched; that is until he leaned in and added, "Can I have them for my collection?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 097

You deserved it 2 143

By Anonymous - 26/03/2012 10:53 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, a man on the subway serenaded me. That's not the issue. He was cross-eyed, making it hard for me not to laugh in his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 310

You deserved it 30 275

By fmylifebad - 29/04/2009 10:12 - United States

Today, I was on the subway and saw this cute guy eyeing me. I crossed my legs, tossed back my hair, and raised my eyebrows slightly. As he came up to me, my heart started racing until he finally started flirting... with the girl next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 144

You deserved it 12 192

By Anonymous - 15/11/2013 09:45 - United Kingdom - Bicester

Today, I made eye contact with a cute guy from across a packed train. He then yelled out, in front of everyone, "You've got foam on your nose!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 419

You deserved it 4 043

By anonmys - 18/07/2010 21:47 - United States

Today, I was riding the train and saw a cute guy licking his lips at me. Flattered, I gave him my number when the train stopped. He looked at me and said, "Don't flatter yourself. You have mustard on your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 460

You deserved it 19 430

By belladonna - 26/02/2009 22:21 - United States

Today, I took the subway. The man sitting across from me would not stop staring at my breasts, so when the train came to my stop, I said, "Nothing to see now, asshole." Then I noticed his white walking stick as he got up to get off. He was blind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 219

You deserved it 79 280

By ilovecowboys - 26/02/2010 09:09 - New Zealand

Today, on the train to work, the train guard was hot and I became stupidly nervous. I'm very shy and was trying to avoid eye-contact. He said 'THANK YOU', in a pissed off tone of voice and glared at me. I had absent-mindedly been staring in the direction of his prosthetic arm the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 879

You deserved it 7 047

By creepyguy - 26/12/2009 12:06 - Australia

Today, I noticed a girl looking at me on the train. Playing it cool, I decided to give her a smile and see what would happen. It came out as a creepy, seedy grin, prompting her to call security. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 301

You deserved it 9 960

By ruvru - 10/04/2009 17:13 - United States

Today, while lying next to me, my boyfriend smiled and told me, "I really like your eyes. They're pretty." He paused and then finished with, "They really help your face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 703

You deserved it 4 122

You what now?

By foshizzle - 25/04/2012 06:46 - United States - Orlando

Today, while at work, a man grabbed my beard, said it was impressive, and then uttered the words, "I love you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 979

You deserved it 3 188

Next

Top comments

Jimboom 11

Thursday 5 March 2009 12:45

Probably because he either wanted to lick them or eat them

N07H666 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 14:21

that's one creative pickup line!!! I gotta remember that one

Comments

fml147 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 19:51

"wanted to eat or lick them" lol. ahhaha. thats too funny. but thats creepy.

tyson_457 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 20:26

at least he didnt say that u had a pretty mouth.

holynemesis1208 3

Thursday 5 March 2009 20:30

he thought they looked tasty.

starstrukk 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 21:41

# 11 bahahahahahahhahha but seriously? i would be sooo creeped out

skylitxrock 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 23:12

hahahahah i've said that before. i don't understand why it's so creepy. but congratulations on your pretty/tastey eyeballs!

fakelaw 0

Friday 6 March 2009 1:11

I've sadly gotten this comment before--from a guy that was later on American Idol. Apparently it's a better comment than people realize.

BalenciagaBetch9 0

Friday 6 March 2009 3:03

thats b/c hes imagining what they would taste like in a stew.

marris 0

Friday 6 March 2009 3:46

Run away, he might want to add them to his collection

countrygurl 0

Friday 6 March 2009 7:25

OMGOMGOMG!!!!! that's amazing! lol

Zic_fml 7

Friday 6 March 2009 18:52

Now you can be confident that you have nice eyeballs. When you look at people, they will say "X, you have nice eyeballs", and you will reply with "thankyou". What an ideal life you have!

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The Top

Today, my hateful mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly. I faked taking a phone call so the bitter old hag would leave me alone. She then pulled out her phone, called my number, and glared at me as my phone rang against my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 723

You deserved it 13 099

Today, a friend and I saw some deer outside my car. Since we were both leaving for college the next day we wanted to do something memorable so we decided to chase the deer. Turns out the deer wanted to chase us too. We ran for over five minutes screaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 826

You deserved it 54 997

The Top

Today, I rushed home after my mom called saying our upstairs had flooded. Apparently, my little brother somehow broke the toilet while unsupervised and water overflowed everywhere. It even reached my closet, shoes, and books, and everything touching my floor in my room is now wet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 816

You deserved it 139

Today, my mom scolded me for not taking driving lessons already. This comes a few days after she told me that, "Allowing teenagers to drive is just another way of thinning out the gene pool". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 627

You deserved it 3 200

Today, I was walking out of Starbucks when I sneezed, causing coffee to burn my nose. I screamed, dropped it, and sent scorching coffee all over my legs, while dropping everything else I was holding. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 955

You deserved it 7 196

Today, I diagnosed myself with a debilitating case of vicious circle: I am now too depressed to do the things that usually manage to pull me out of my depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 391

You deserved it 152

Today, I work at a bakery. As I was putting out some cakes with fruit on top of them, a customer asked me how we get the little hairs to stay on the raspberries, and if we glue them on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 571

You deserved it 3 314

Today, I found out that because I'm a cop, my 5-year-old son thinks the only way he can contact me is by calling 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 825

You deserved it 318