Kids: Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife...

By thatoneguy - 05/09/2011 20:23 - United States

Today, a five year old that I am babysitting picked up a knife and said he would chop my nuts off if I didn't give him his ice cream before dinner. Only 5 more hours to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 459

You deserved it 3 466

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Same thing different taste

By sumhub94 - 14/05/2013 16:48 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 4-year-old, and we decided to play a game of hide and seek. Before he started to count, he looked me in the eyes and said that if I hid in his spot, he'd murder me with a knife when he grows up. I have to babysit this kid for the rest of the summer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 667

You deserved it 3 921

By Anonymous - 02/03/2012 08:30 - Belgium

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year-old brat. He refused to eat his vegetables, so I forbade him from playing until they were finished. He stomped off upstairs, so I let him cool off for a couple of minutes. When I went upstairs, he had taken scissors to all of his mother's clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 601

You deserved it 4 432

Damian?

By Anonymous - 16/09/2019 06:01 - United Kingdom - London

Today, while babysitting, I got stabbed by a 7 year-old with a mechanical pencil. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 227

You deserved it 116

By whattabrat - 26/02/2012 05:16 - Canada

Today, I was babysitting. Everything was going well until the kid called 911 on me for making him eat his vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 079

You deserved it 3 297

By nutsucker - 08/03/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 530

You deserved it 10 867

By Anonymous - 10/08/2014 18:12 - United Kingdom - Ilminster

Today, I babysat a 6-year-old boy for the first time. When I said it was his bedtime, he just screamed "Eat a dick!" at me. I was so shocked, all I could do was leave him be. When his parents returned, I had to make up an excuse for why he was still awake and watching TV, to save my pride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 309

You deserved it 10 043

This boy

By GirlinGreen - 30/04/2009 01:34 - United States

Today, I was babysitting a four year-old. He was mad and began hitting me. I told him to use his words not his fists when he's mad. He then began telling me how much he hated me, and that I should go die and never come back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 451

You deserved it 18 512

Demon child

By Some Guy - 12/10/2015 00:54 - United States - Allen

Today, I was babysitting a two year-old. He was messing around with a silver fork and I told him it was dangerous. He then got mad at me, started crying, and stabbed me right in the foot. Be warned, even though they're little, they can still cause a lot of pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 366

You deserved it 2 771

By raquel - 17/07/2015 16:40 - United States

Today, I babysat the Antichrist of all kids. After the 5 long hours were over, his parents came home. Instead of paying me what they agreed, they offered to let me eat some leftovers of a takeout in the fridge. I'm so afraid of confrontation that I accepted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 156

You deserved it 10 176

Bride of Chucky

By spooked - 22/11/2013 06:20 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, while babysitting a girl, I told her to be quiet so she wouldn't wake her little brother. In reply, she told me that she would kill me, wake her brother up to show him my dead body, then draw all over my face. I'm stuck with her for another two hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 881

You deserved it 3 811

1215116a 14

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:12

Spoiled brat. -_-

Oceanborn_fml 24

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:15

You're babysitting and allow the kid to get his hands on a knife? Please get a different job

Comments

Oceanborn_fml 24

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:15

You're babysitting and allow the kid to get his hands on a knife? Please get a different job

rhysfucker 24

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:20

Thank you...exactly.

fatraptorjesus13 9

Tuesday 6 September 2011 5:28

yes because all baby sitters watch the children every moment...it takes about 20 seconds for a 5 yo to climb a counter and grab a knife....

DocBastard 38

Tuesday 6 September 2011 6:13

Yes fatraptor, that's EXACTLY what babysitters are supposed to do! Watch the children, especially if they go wandering off to a potentially dangerous part of the house (kitchen, workshop, BDSM dungeon, etc). Remind me never to hire you to watch my kids. You'd probably give them liquor and razor blades.

liquidSELECT 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:15

Are you babysitting a serial killers child???

techweed 12

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:16

Coolest five year old I've ever seen. Ever

THE_A_TEEN 27

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:22

You mean a five year old who wield's a knife to a babysitter demanding ice crean threatning to cut his nuts off is cool to you? You sir- are a dumbass. Please dont reproduce

Armoured 6

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:29

Agreed

fatraptorjesus13 9

Tuesday 6 September 2011 5:30

fir the love of humanity kill yourself now or evolution will Soon enough

hottottie 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:16

I really hope your not scared...and I really hope you didn't give in.. :|

YourEvilHero 12

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:18

rip his pokemon cards in half... that'll show him.

Darcon 8

Tuesday 6 September 2011 0:18

op is a ******* pussy and y the **** wud 5 yr old have access to knives..all this thinking makes my head hurt..op is a ******* pussy and y the **** wud 5 yr old have access to knives..all this thinking makes my head hurt..