Intimacy: Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky...

By i.ask.you.how. - 12/07/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just stared at him, spluttering simple question words and wondering how on earth he could possibly know that about me. I then realized that he had been joking. Too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 895

You deserved it 20 687

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Pervy

By textraped - 16/03/2009 05:26 - United States

Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments, and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 408

You deserved it 40 803

Ah yes, homophobic jokes, so funny

By Anonymous - 05/02/2021 05:01

Today, I was working at my desk when a colleague came over to my desk and said, “You loiter in gay bars”. I started having a panic attack because I thought he'd found out and would out me to my wife. Only when he began cracking up laughing did I realise it was a "joke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 474

You deserved it 2 101

By Is_This_Real - 13/09/2016 02:34 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I hooked up with a friend. I expressed an interest in it becoming something more. He expressed an interest in not telling anyone and pretending it never happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 609

You deserved it 2 515

Our little secret

By Anonymous - 16/12/2022 12:00

Today, I found out that the “stranger” I’ve been confessing my kinky, dark, and disgusting fantasies to online is a friend from high school, who figured out it was me by the third sentence. Now I'm praying she has a heart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 1 401

By cherry - 10/04/2009 09:43 - Australia

Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks, "Can I lick your leg?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 751

You deserved it 23 895

Self-sabotage

By Anonymous - 15/11/2016 09:20

Today, I was hanging out with a guy friend I hadn't seen for ages. The sexual tension was off the charts. We were making out and think were progressing, hands were roaming to both nether regions when I freaked out and blurted out, "But aren't we just friends?" We then sat and watched TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 871

You deserved it 12 856

BFF

By imabadperson - 06/03/2010 12:24 - United States

Today, I introduced myself as a sex addict, as a joke, to break the ice while meeting new people. One of my friends took me seriously and said he was a porn addict. He told me how happy he was that he had found someone else who had the same feelings and was so happy he could confide in me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 523

You deserved it 44 540

By 13a5ic H1p5t3r - 15/08/2016 03:58 - United States - Spencer

Today, I told my best friend that I was gay and that I liked him. Turns out he's very open about the topic. Basically, he kissed me and then slapped me. I don't know what that's supposed to mean. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 567

You deserved it 1 913

Hit and miss

By KitCatAttack - 11/10/2020 10:06

Today, I told my close friend that I have a thing for him. His reaction? "Oh, fuck." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 060

You deserved it 175

Experimentation is good

By Anonymous - 30/10/2019 00:01

Today, I was at my friend's place with a bunch of people. I saw a pair of panties in his laundry basket, so of course I yelled, "DUDE! YOU GOT LAID!" Turns out he didn't get laid, he was 'experimenting'. He was so mortified, he burst out crying and threw us all out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 174

You deserved it 2 481

xOpheliacx 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 16:20

So? Nothing to be ashamed of.

ChefBoy6382 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 16:31

Wanna hook up?

Comments

Twin_Uzis 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 16:17

Haha! Nice.

dakotalesmercy 6

Tuesday 18 May 2010 16:10

ouch.

kayladance101 13

Sunday 1 August 2010 4:30

best FML ever.

Mnemic 5

Sunday 12 July 2009 16:19

lol nasty! But I think a lot of people secretly like that kind of stuff. :)

pleasetryagain 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 17:36

How is that nasty? It's a normal thing. Tons of people are into it, and things that are a LOT worse. Besides, how is it THAT bad that a friend knows? If he's really a friend he's won't tell everyone. OR- if people do find out you can find yourself a girl who's into that too.

Mnemic 5

Sunday 12 July 2009 17:52

Ehm my 'nasty' didn't apply to that the OP actually like to be tied up but the actual FML. I bet she felt pretty screwed after that. Its nothing to be ashamed of indeed. :)

ForestFire0 1

Monday 13 July 2009 5:08

#17 This was written by a woman. Nothing was mentioned about lesbianism. But if she is, that would make her the most awesome FMLer ever.

CaptainBaconMan 0

Monday 13 July 2009 23:31

I think It's weird myself Oh shit! I forgot people aren't allowed to have opinions!

Icalasari 0

Monday 20 July 2009 4:24

#17: One example: Vore In other words, being turned on by the idea of being eaten alive, eating others alive, or observing someone else getting eaten alive

Ghostalker 0

Friday 30 April 2010 15:55

I think people who aren't into kinky sex are weird "normal" ex gets boring after a while

emodude44 0

Saturday 1 October 2011 9:01

You can act out the extreme fetishes in roleplay.

xOpheliacx 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 16:20

So? Nothing to be ashamed of.

kath91 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 16:22

You should've pretended you were joking too

heyyou1203 0

Monday 13 July 2009 13:13

ha ha, my friends do stuff like that to me all the time. but hey, no shame in being kinky :-)

jonnymohio 2

Sunday 12 July 2009 16:26

Go with it. Make it even more outrageous than he describes and then he'll think it was ALL a joke. And your secret is safe.

MaiLouIsLegend 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 16:27

How's this a FML? Cause you made a fool out of yourself with your friend? Lame

ChefBoy6382 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 16:31

Wanna hook up?

volleyballgirl16 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 18:18

i was thinking the same thing but thats hilarious but that turns me on too XD

DietBroccoli 0

Monday 13 July 2009 2:26

Nothin' quite as hot as a kinky/feisty girl ;)

drkwlf 0

Sunday 12 July 2009 16:31

Um.. so what if you like to get tied up? Are you some sort of bible banger? What the **** is this shit? I wonder if the people who actually let these go by are all just 14 years old, or if that's the sort of audience they want. If so, **** that.