Intimacy: Pervy

Pervy

By textraped - 16/03/2009 05:26 - United States

Today, I jokingly had kinky conversation via text message with a good guy friend. He was pretending to be a stranger and was fishing for compliments, and asked to have a foursome. Turns out, my friend lost his phone and I spent 2 hours talking to a pervert about what lingerie I was wearing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 408

You deserved it 40 804

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

Horndogs

By bullah007 - 28/11/2014 18:43 - Pakistan - Lahore

Today, my friend made a fake account on Facebook, pretending to be a girl, and posted my phone number on a sexting group. I've been getting calls and text messages from horny weirdos all day long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 035

You deserved it 4 431

By Username - 27/03/2011 18:09 - United States

Today, my friend stole my phone to call the creepy boy that follows me around at school. I wouldn't have been so bothered if she hadn't had phone sex with him, all while pretending to be me. He got so into it, he now thinks we're a couple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 994

You deserved it 6 342

Deep fake

By ohtheshame - 02/05/2011 08:34

Today, I sent a kinky text message to my boyfriend. Within minutes I got a reply of, "Whoever this is, fuck off and give my girlfriend's phone back." Apparently I'm so bad at writing sexy messages that my boyfriend thought it was a prank from someone who'd stolen my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 976

You deserved it 10 760

Revealing

By kitkat545 - 15/06/2009 23:18 - United States

Today, my husband called me from work just to chat. He asked what I had been up to today. I was feeling frisky so I told him all about how I had gotten horny, watched a porno and masturbated earlier. It wasn't until I heard the hoots and laughter that I realized he had me on speakerphone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 079

You deserved it 51 000

Bad timing

By i'm not psychic, mother fucker - 02/06/2013 20:48 - Sweden - Uppsala

Today, I got a text message while driving home. I checked after arriving, and found it was a kinky text from my boyfriend, so I sent him an even kinkier reply. He later raged at me, because I somehow should have known he was showing off his phone to his mom when I sent my reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 676

You deserved it 6 641

By diddlysquat - 14/01/2009 08:49 - United Kingdom

Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 047

You deserved it 53 783

By Anonymous - 14/04/2014 03:17 - United States

Today, I was talking dirty with my husband over the phone while he was out of town. I started to verbally act out his fantasy and got quite into it. I was returned with silence. Embarrassed, I tried to hang up. Turns out the call had already been dropped, five minutes prior. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 978

You deserved it 7 874

Remote sex

By Anonymous - 05/02/2020 05:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I thought it would be fun to have a sex session with my boyfriend. I sent him a suggestive message, and 30 minutes later he texted me back to let me know he was done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 379

You deserved it 353

By i.ask.you.how. - 12/07/2009 06:05 - United States

Today, a friend of mine told me that he knew I was into kinky sex, "like getting tied up." I just stared at him, spluttering simple question words and wondering how on earth he could possibly know that about me. I then realized that he had been joking. Too late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 895

You deserved it 20 687

Taking it too far

By Hypocrisy - 28/09/2011 22:16 - United States

Today, I was called a pervert. On a phone sex line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 664

You deserved it 56 815

Jimboom 11

Monday 16 March 2009 16:05

So.... what ARE you wearing?

slutmuffin 0

Monday 16 March 2009 16:14

A sexual conversation with a guy friend?? Rather odd if you ask me.

Comments

Jimboom 11

Monday 16 March 2009 16:05

So.... what ARE you wearing?

happyhak 5

Wednesday 7 April 2010 15:15

What are you complaining about, OP? Foursomes are awesome!!!

Rkikkas9713 25

Friday 20 November 2015 23:39

Uhh...khakis

meaganwas 0

Monday 16 March 2009 16:10

I laughed harder at "textraped" than at the FML itself. But still...yeah, ew.

SaltyLurker 10

Tuesday 11 September 2018 7:10

Try being on the receiving end of it once. You'd quickly stop finding it funny

slutmuffin 0

Monday 16 March 2009 16:14

A sexual conversation with a guy friend?? Rather odd if you ask me.

Len_Kagamine 8

Sunday 19 August 2012 21:48

That was funny because your name is "SlutMuffin"

Laura3415 16

Wednesday 18 December 2013 22:08

Actually some people have good guy friends who they're so close to that they could talk to them about anything and it wouldn't be weird, I think every girl needs one :3

madame_malfoy 4

Monday 16 March 2009 16:15

#3 nothing odd about it, guy friends are great like that, you can tell them anything and its all cool

letstrythis 0

Monday 16 March 2009 16:16

Does it matter if he's just some stranger? If you enjoyed the conversation, in the big picture it doesn't matter...

alex_vik 0

Monday 16 March 2009 16:17

Wow...did you really think he'd pretend to be a stranger? You deserved it.

thebigO_fml 0

Monday 16 March 2009 16:30

seriously, what are you wearing? LOL

r00b 0

Monday 16 March 2009 16:48

so it was a joke conversation in which you were telling the truth?

nomadxx7 0

Monday 16 March 2009 16:56

Yeah because guy friends NEVER want to get with their girl friends. Unless he's gay most of the time they are the ones in the wings with crushes on their girl friends. I have lots of girl friends that I'm just friends with but secretly would love to hook up with. Sorry #4 but "you can tell them anything and it's cool" because usually your guy friend doesn't have the nuts to tell you he likes you and/or has been in the friends abyss too long for you think of him in that manner. As someone else said... been there, do that, got the t-shirt. Also that's the problem with text messaging. Never know who you really have on the other end. Now a cyber sex call you would have been able to tell if it was him or not. Plus why wouldn't your friend stop service to the phone if it was stolen. Really don't understand all these stories of people having their phones stolen and yet having service still to the phone. Last time I had one taken from me at a ski resort it was de-activated by the end of the day.