Miscellaneous: Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to... - FML

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By Jan - 27/02/2013 04:50 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, a German guy came into the place where I work. Eager to use the German that I'd learned from my immigrant mother and her family, I started a conversation. Things were going well until the term I grew up thinking meant "Africa" turned out to be racist, translating as "Ape Land." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 290

You deserved it 4 326

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Same thing different taste

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By Anonymous - 30/12/2012 19:21 - Germany - Neunkirchen

Today, I returned to Germany for a break from my studies abroad. I got lost while out for groceries, so I tried asking a guy for directions. I went totally blank and strained to think of the right words, prompting him to mutter about rude foreigners not bothering to learn the local language. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 052

You deserved it 5 370

By lostforwords - 06/08/2011 19:10 - Ireland

Today, I found out that my German wasn't as great as I thought it was. Trying to give directions to some German tourists, I tried to say, "I hope I don't get you lost." Turns out I actually said something closer to, "I hope I don't seduce you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 086

You deserved it 6 306

Listen up

By Pfnüselfüsel - 20/07/2023 18:00

Today, my German colleague complained that when I spoke German, I had a Swiss accent in it, which was "not nice to hear". Well Honey, we live in Switzerland, what accent did you expect us to have when you moved here? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 019

You deserved it 117

By nolinguist - 22/11/2009 17:39 - Austria

Today, I arrived in Austria. Within about an hour, I realized that I couldn't understand any "German". Turns out they have a totally different dialect here to anything I was taught in school. I'm here till May. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 322

You deserved it 18 801

Scheiße!

By Xerfox - 03/07/2016 18:05 - Germany - Löwenstein

Today, I found out the German I've been learning for nearly a month is a dialect only spoken by people in a small area of the country. This means I'll need to re-learn most of what I thought I knew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 511

You deserved it 1 988

By razzmataz - 28/01/2009 13:38 - United States

Today, I was discussing my family heritage with my girlfriend's parents. The moment I told them that I came from a German background, her seven-year-old brother pointed at me and yelled, "HITLER!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 996

You deserved it 3 153

By nullroute - 16/02/2016 11:34 - Switzerland

Today, I found out that while on foreign exchange for over six months now, I have been pronouncing the word for "night" in German wrong. Apparently, this whole time, the way that I have been pronouncing it in German means "naked". This explains a lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 151

You deserved it 2 813

By traveling - 09/07/2013 11:18

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 987

You deserved it 6 418

By Anonymous - 01/10/2013 07:30 - Austria - Vienna

Today, I was in an Austrian bar, making polite conversation in my broken German with a slightly odd middle-aged man. He said, winking, that he was near to his pension. I smiled and nodded, thinking he was talking about retirement. My friend later informed me that 'pension' is German for 'apartment'. Ew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 342

You deserved it 4 498

By mikeissad - 11/08/2012 19:37 - United States - Port Saint Lucie

Today, at work, I was forced to nod and smile as a pregnant, fifteen-year-old, brain-dead Jersey Shore wannabe cussed me out for being rude by using words from a "foreign language" during our conversation. I used the word "pretentious." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 311

You deserved it 2 485

Next

Top comments

StanSmith2013 26

Wednesday 27 February 2013 9:14

Africa in Deutsch, is Afrika.

bach2121 13

Wednesday 27 February 2013 9:27

Now you know your family is racist!

Comments

HereNReady 13

Wednesday 27 February 2013 12:14

German is a horribly guttural language anyways. Learn something else.

otecasacid 22

Wednesday 27 February 2013 14:20

More like one of the best languages. Get it right.

Eivana 37

Wednesday 27 February 2013 12:17

Hey, man! Mistakes happen! Just learn from them and don't repeat them.

Kalipczo 21

Wednesday 27 February 2013 12:32

Lmao that's pretty funny. Confront your mom about it and see what she says.

Cinderella_Man 10

Wednesday 27 February 2013 13:46

Fick mich, du miserabler hurensohn.

crackpotL 33

Wednesday 27 February 2013 16:35

Who says parents don't scar their children.

fksfsdhfsdfh 26

Wednesday 27 February 2013 16:50

Es ist sehr schlecht!

jcrb 11

Wednesday 27 February 2013 17:13

epic. just epic.

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