Miscellaneous: Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling...

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By smooth - 21/11/2013 16:10 - United States

Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 617

You deserved it 14 041

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My love language is…

By Time for a divorce, I think - 29/03/2025 21:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I asked my wife for a kiss. She snarled, "I'm your WIFE, just fucking kiss me! You don't have to ask!" Later, I went in for a kiss and she slapped me, then yelled that it was my fault for "getting in her face." FML

I agree, your life sucks 592

You deserved it 89

By Someguy - 06/06/2011 18:55 - Belgium

Today, I thought it would be a good idea to declare my love to the girl I have a crush on. I guess I shouldn't have gone and kissed her without warning, because now my face is covered with slap marks, and I had to explain myself at the police station for sexual harassement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 872

You deserved it 57 081

By Ryan746 - 09/06/2009 05:45 - United States

Today, I asked a girl out and made plans to go see a movie. About 5 minutes in, I made a move to put my arm around her and smashed her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 685

You deserved it 47 023

Negging

By f*ck - 02/05/2012 16:22 - United States

Today, I had a date with the girl I've been interested in for months. I'm pretty laid-back and casual with my friends, which backfired and caused the date to end with a slap, when I greeted her with a friendly "S'up, slut?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 317

You deserved it 98 446

What are you doing?

By Tyler - 25/08/2013 04:30 - United States

Today, I went to the mall with my girlfriend to buy some new clothes, and I turned around to give her a quick kiss. My lips were half-way to "her" face when I saw instead the face of another lady. She slapped me. My girlfriend was standing next to me, very pissed off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 255

You deserved it 9 703

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 604

You deserved it 88 984

Sorry Sharon

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to high-five someone but somehow ended up slapping them in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 641

You deserved it 240

By Anonymous - 03/02/2015 18:23 - United States - Cheyenne

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 294

You deserved it 2 916

By Loser - 01/11/2009 06:30 - United States

Today, I was playing a game of truth or dare in a group with a girl I liked. She was dared to kiss me, but then the group decided that that was too cruel of a dare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 647

You deserved it 4 636

Nice try

By Well that didn't work - 08/04/2025 06:00 - United States - Edison

Today, on the advice of several friends, I tried to de-escalate a stupid argument with my fiancée by kissing her. She slapped me senseless and whooped my ass up and down the house until I escaped to the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 186

You deserved it 440

lilmslady 11

Thursday 21 November 2013 19:28

that.. is .... hilarious! shes a keeper!

JocelynKaulitz 28

Thursday 21 November 2013 19:28

She likes it rough

Comments

PlasterBlaster9 13

Monday 11 May 2015 14:06

So did u kiss ?

shitztopher 6

Monday 8 June 2015 7:15

playing hard to get?

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The Top

Today, I woke up in the ER after constant coughing and pneumonia made me pass out. I told my boss I was in the hospital with an infection and 235/163 blood pressure, so I wouldn’t be in. His response was, “So, you are a lazy POS and expect your colleagues to cover you?” I’d quit if my health was better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 939

You deserved it 150

Today, my now ex-boyfriend admitted that he had cancelled our Sunday date not because he was ill but because he spent the whole the day with his depressed ex-wife, I was always telling him to check on her, but out of nowhere he felt need to lie and hide their meeting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 142

The Top

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 150

You deserved it 80 590

Today, a girl told me she stopped eating cherries ever since her father choked on one when she was a kid. She later mentioned that she doesn't like to drive. I sarcastically asked, "Did your dad choke on a car too?" Nope, her two brothers died in a car accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 606

You deserved it 58 896

Today, I went in the diner I always pass by and ordered a sandwich. When I asked how much it was, the waitress replied, "Don't worry, honey. We give free meals to the homeless on Thursdays." I was too ashamed to deny it, so I just said thank you and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 623

You deserved it 6 277

Today, after I learned a long time ago that it's prudent to smell your shredded cheese as with milk to check its freshness, that lesson came into play when I doubted the quality of some cheese my roommate was going to use for nachos. I smelled it and got the dry heaves from the stink. He can't smell anything. FML

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You deserved it 102

Today, I was hit in the head with a football during class. Spanish class. FML

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You deserved it 137

Today, I had various items thrown at me all day at school, one one of which was a ruler that landed flat on my back where I had blistered and peeling sunburn. I yelped, "Motherf***er!" because of the pain, and I was the one given detention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 977

You deserved it 163