Intimacy: Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn...

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By theassman - 11/03/2009 04:42 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 150

You deserved it 80 588

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Same thing different taste

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By Anonymous - 14/01/2011 23:07 - United Kingdom

Today, I came home, turned on my laptop, and turned the TV on mute so I could check my email. My mom came home an hour later, took a look at me on the couch, then the TV, and asked what on earth I was watching. I looked up from my laptop and realized it was porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 791

You deserved it 32 366

How could you?

By Anonymous - 29/03/2024 10:00 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me jerking it in her bathroom. I'm a 40 year-old man and she's 68. FML

I agree, your life sucks 198

You deserved it 891

By Anonymous user - 09/08/2018 06:00

Today, my mom laughed about hearing me singing in the shower and told our whole family. I wasn't singing, though. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 052

You deserved it 2 962

Play it cool

By Fraser - 08/03/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, my mother caught me masturbating. Trying to defuse the awkward tension, I said "Oh, I was just thinking about you!" Not a good idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 207

You deserved it 56 664

Caught red-handed

By caught - 09/01/2012 00:43 - United States

Today, I was bored and started touching myself watching TV. My mother walked into my bedroom with a phone in her hand and yelled, "Stop jacking off and talk to your grandmother." FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 339

You deserved it 36 301

By Anonymous - 20/05/2016 16:59 - United States - Harker Heights

Today, my brother walked in on me jerking off. I managed to close the porn tab, at least, only to end up on my mom's Facebook profile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 412

You deserved it 6 757

MILF

By Anonymous - 12/11/2020 08:03

Today, I was watching porn and found my mom on a webcam. When I told her that I saw her, she just took away my computer and told me to get off porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 306

You deserved it 606

By ikungfuyou - 27/12/2011 07:11 - United States

Today, despite being 21 years old and living in my own place, my mom still managed to walk in on me whacking off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 730

You deserved it 10 247

By ShadowJack - 29/04/2012 15:10 - United States

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 494

You deserved it 9 785

Surprise !

By Shrekkk - 02/07/2019 06:14

Today, I accidentally connected my phone to my mum's headphones while watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 2 601

GameRater01 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 13:33

I never realized there were so many people in the world without access to rooms with locks as when I started coming to fmylife

jESuS_lOVeS_mE69 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 13:35

So is it safe to assume i'm the only one who masterbates to old Beatles concerts?

Comments

Silhouette_fml 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 13:27

That's... kind of creepy...

colts609380 7

Thursday 24 June 2010 5:39

lol it is. and disturbing too

GameRater01 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 13:33

I never realized there were so many people in the world without access to rooms with locks as when I started coming to fmylife

daniisme 0

Monday 12 April 2010 2:54

i'm not allowed locks on my door. My mum and dad get scared that if I'm injured, they can't help me. Sucks.

jESuS_lOVeS_mE69 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 13:35

So is it safe to assume i'm the only one who masterbates to old Beatles concerts?

matt5217 4

Saturday 31 July 2010 22:42

yes

Person000 0

Wednesday 27 April 2011 8:14

whaaaa ??? nooo I have a circle jerk to old beetles considered every other Tuesday, anyone is welcome

0ops_fml 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 14:33

Isn't it good, norwegian wood?

MichelleMaBelle_fml 16

Monday 12 October 2015 18:25

Oh my gosh dude

Tarion 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 14:35

#3 - I'm sure you're not #0 - At least you can reassure her that you have good musical taste, right?

Tehalon 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 14:50

Dont worry, im sure she used to do the same ;D

Flying_Pink_Lulz 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 14:58

hahahahahhhaha OMG that is just friggin hilarious xD

mf_fml 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 15:06

hahaha, oh god.

Clover2009 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 15:24

Whatever floats your boat!

43trauts 14

Sunday 29 April 2012 5:58

or submarine...

Brandonisamazing 5

Saturday 12 May 2012 22:31

win^^

Stephie_fml 0

Wednesday 11 March 2009 15:28

Seriously, what the hell is it about parents who don't KNOCK?? Do you WANT to walk in on that shit?

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