Intimacy: Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk...

By depressed - 22/02/2010 07:23 - United States

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 823

You deserved it 26 498

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 626

You deserved it 4 799

The wrong kind of banging

By BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 111

You deserved it 3 951

Waste moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 1 350

By TheOtherWoman - 20/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 032

You deserved it 12 794

I did a sex

By Anonymous - 17/05/2021 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that last night after I got drunk, I passed out mid-pump while we were knocking boots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 1 186

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 066

You deserved it 86 735

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 603

You deserved it 88 959

By Matt - 13/07/2012 19:06 - United States

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 346

You deserved it 57 819

With friends like these…

By marz88 - 24/10/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 698

You deserved it 7 135

It wasn't me

By curiousorange - 05/07/2009 15:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 567

You deserved it 3 046

zebra_pillow 0

Monday 22 February 2010 16:07

why would you f**k a drunk girl anyways that's like rape

its_milly_silly 0

Monday 22 February 2010 16:07

YDI for trying to get it from a drunk chick... so... wrong!

Comments

brentludlow 0

Monday 22 February 2010 16:19

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

carlover2050 3

Monday 22 February 2010 16:24

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

paprikacha 9

Monday 22 February 2010 16:28

I know most of these comments along the lines of 'do her anyway' are either sarcastic or made in jest, but still... : (

bulll_crap 0

Monday 22 February 2010 16:31

lucky

f_your_life_09 0

Monday 22 February 2010 16:31

y the hell would u watch her sleep? creep. that's ******* weird. u should have left.

undercoverninja 9

Sunday 7 September 2014 6:46

I couldn't agree more.

T1A2Z3 34

Friday 8 June 2018 1:10

He did say she fell asleep on him. Maybe he couldn't move without waking her

maph3rs 0

Monday 22 February 2010 16:32

stuck there watching her sleep. is that in ur usual spot by her window!! perv. bet u had a feel!!!

drinkmoxie 0

Monday 22 February 2010 16:33

So wait your FML is that your not a Date Rapist. I would hate to see what your proud of

ajrhockey5 0

Monday 22 February 2010 17:24

you don't watch her sleep, you LEAVE! dumbass.

willsnodgrass 0

Monday 22 February 2010 17:26

if she was so hot you should have pulled over and played while she was frisky

Ft9princess 0

Monday 22 February 2010 17:31

Ydi for being a pervert with bad intentions.

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 237

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 300

You deserved it 14 749

The Top

Today, my roommates keep opening my bedroom door to "let the WiFi out." FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 468

You deserved it 555

Today, I confronted my fiancé and told him I knew his 'little secret'. I had suspected that he had been ruining his wedding diet by eating pizza at the office. He replied that the affair with his secretary had only been going on for a couple of months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 184

You deserved it 8 007

Today, a soldier in my unit had unknowingly lost a GPS in the woods and my section was sent to go find it. After hours of wading through chest high swamps in 32 degree weather, the GPS was found, thanks to the soldier who lost it. It was in his vest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 187

You deserved it 2 329

Today, I made some brownies to take over to my dad's place for his party. He started yelling at me when I told him I'd added a special ingredient for taste, demanding to know what I had slipped them. Cinnamon. It was cinnamon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 489

You deserved it 3 314

Today, I came across an old man sitting on the pavement with a bottle of beer in one hand. He was crying. I thought I would be a good Samaritan and see if he was okay. After 15 minutes of hearing about how much his life sucked, he mugged me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 921

You deserved it 9 667

Today, my girlfriend and I were at the movies. When the "love scene" came on, she leaned over and made out with the wrong man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 285

You deserved it 5 388