Intimacy: Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk...

By depressed - 22/02/2010 07:23 - United States

Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 823

You deserved it 26 498

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 13/11/2010 05:20 - United States

Today, the girl that I have been trying to get with for over a year told me she was drunk and just gave her first blowjob to some guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 626

You deserved it 4 799

The wrong kind of banging

By BRELLA - 03/02/2009 19:58 - United States

Today, I finally got the chance to sleep with a girl from home who I'd wanted for a long time. She has low blood pressure problems though, and when things got hot, she passed out while she was on top of me, fell and hit her head on the night stand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 111

You deserved it 3 951

Waste moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 000

You deserved it 1 350

By TheOtherWoman - 20/07/2009 07:10 - United States

Today, the guy I've been sleeping with for the last three weeks got really drunk. I drove him home from the party and took care of him. At 2am he asked for the phone. When I asked what for, he said he wanted to drunk dial his girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 032

You deserved it 12 794

I did a sex

By Anonymous - 17/05/2021 05:02 - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me that last night after I got drunk, I passed out mid-pump while we were knocking boots. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 1 186

By Anonymous - 29/03/2009 19:09 - United States

Today, I finally convinced a girl that I liked to have sex. I decided to swoop her off the feet like the movies and carry her to my bed. I ended up hitting her head on the door frame, knocking her out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 066

You deserved it 86 735

By H-B - 28/04/2009 08:53 - United States

Today, I went out with a girl who I really love. We arrived to her house and before she got out of the car, I attempted to kiss her as planned. Still drunk, I grabbed her head and twisted it when I kissed her. She's now wearing a neck brace. Real smooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 603

You deserved it 88 959

By Matt - 13/07/2012 19:06 - United States

Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 346

You deserved it 57 819

With friends like these…

By marz88 - 24/10/2009 18:27 - United States

Today, a friend of mine got a bit drunk, but said she was fine and didn't feel drunk at all. I took her keys anyway and said she could sleep on my bed, while I slept on the floor next to the bed. I was rudely woken up in the middle of the night to her rolling over and vomiting on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 698

You deserved it 7 135

It wasn't me

By curiousorange - 05/07/2009 15:58 - United Kingdom

Today, I met a great girl at a party. We talked alone, and she made me promise I'd dance with her later. When I saw her later, she was unconscious, and in an ambulance. She'd collapsed, and the entire party assumed I'd spiked her drink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 567

You deserved it 3 046

zebra_pillow 0

Monday 22 February 2010 16:07

why would you f**k a drunk girl anyways that's like rape

its_milly_silly 0

Monday 22 February 2010 16:07

YDI for trying to get it from a drunk chick... so... wrong!

Comments

rldostie 19

Monday 22 February 2010 23:20

YDI for wanting to be a rapist. If you want sex, at least wait until the person is sober and can properly consent.

UberFail79 0

Monday 22 February 2010 23:39

Wow, this sounds a lot like my girlfriend in high school. Every now and then, I'd get that call. Get used to it. At least you didn't have to pull a gun to scare off some equally drunk belligerents.

Sakirutaki 0

Monday 22 February 2010 23:44

I think it's nice you didn't do anything to her. Other wise I think you would never had a chance but you might now :)

amazingjane 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 1:40

it would really have been a FML if u got arrested for ******* a girl who couldn't consent or she came to her senses in the middle and started screaming like a banshee. try to see the glass as half full.

Alex_1992 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 2:00

Thats just wrong you have to wait until she's drunk before you can think of doing anything with her, worse is that you were actually planning on hooking up with a drunk girl while you would seem to be sober (you were driving) grow a brain and maybe try the proper way instead of a 1 night stand she will regret and never look at you again.

samantha_durano 6

Tuesday 23 February 2010 3:24

so? at least she didn't puke all over you like most drunk people.

brunnette_babe 0

Tuesday 23 February 2010 3:24

well no duh its called the recovrry positiin

zach055 23

Tuesday 23 February 2010 4:46

I don't see why so many people think that it would have been rape to **** her when she was drunk? She made the decision to get drunk so she accepts the concequences, even if that includes being taken advantage of. Also, as long as she does not say "no" it's not rape.