Intimacy: Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised...

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By crazy_mom - 01/11/2010 15:10 - United States

Today, a girl I like came over to my house because I'd promised to help her prepare for a math test. My mom thought it would be funny to put a stack of porn magazines and handcuffs on the table in my room when I went to open the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 671

You deserved it 4 354

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 24/08/2014 05:51 - United States - Hicksville

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 953

You deserved it 7 035

By burb - 25/09/2013 19:23 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 047

You deserved it 3 908

Heat of the moment

By Anonymous - 23/03/2025 21:00 - South Africa - Cape Town

Today, I went to my girlfriend's place to have a study session. Her dad was on a business trip but her mom was at home. We studied for about two hours, then we started getting frisky and started undressing and soon started fucking. We were about 20 minutes in when her mom came in and chased me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 475

By swtkiss1 - 18/02/2009 22:26 - United States

Today, my mom cleaned up my room. I had a drawer filled with condoms, 2 vibrators, and a bondage kit. She organized the condoms and vibrators in a shoe box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 930

You deserved it 58 649

By policeopenup - 11/07/2009 19:38 - United States

Today, my girlfriend threw me on the couch as I walked in the door. I butt dialed my mom in the process. My girlfriend took off my pants and we got to business. After about 30 seconds of hearing what was going on, my mom thought something was wrong and called the cops to my apartment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 430

You deserved it 8 749

Redhanded

By Anonymous - 23/11/2021 06:00 - Philippines - Roxas

Today, my mom came in my bedroom without knocking, even though I'd told her to, and caught me masturbating. She stood there in awkward silence before saying, "…Dinner's ready at 6." and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 390

You deserved it 463

By Cynical - 30/03/2009 03:49 - United States

Today, I was in my room with the door locked and my mom knocked on the door. I said "don't come in, i'm naked!" She said "That's okay!" so she unlocked the door and walked in. I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 95 235

You deserved it 37 109

Knock first!

By Anonymous - 19/09/2023 06:00

Today, I needed to ask my mom for something, so I went to her room without knocking and walked in on her and her boyfriend fucking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 942

By Anonymous - 13/02/2013 11:47 - United Kingdom - Stevenston

Today, the guy I like and his friend came home with me to work on a project. I opened my front door and my mum was at the top of the stairs completely naked, bent over, drying her hair with the hairdryer. It took a few moments for her to realise we were there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 321

You deserved it 3 110

By thissucks - 01/03/2009 19:27 - United States

Today, my boyfriend was coming over so I bought this sexy corset, some fishnets, stilettos and see-through thong. After my dad left I dressed up and a few minutes later the doorbell rang. I answered it, whip in hand. It was my dad. He forgot his keys. I'm grounded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 795

You deserved it 174 861

ToeCutter 0

Monday 1 November 2010 19:13

Where the **** mags & handcuffs from your Moms personal stash? Kind of disturbing.

WiseGuy79 14

Monday 1 November 2010 19:14

I can imagine the explanation now 'Wait don't leave they are my mom's mags n cuffs!' lmao

Comments

AceArctic 4

Thursday 9 December 2010 19:31

so you get ****, a girl, and handcuffs??? this belongs on MLIA

briree 0

Monday 17 January 2011 22:34

how do people see pictures? i see nothing but text

mstammi 0

Tuesday 18 January 2011 20:32

ur mom has a great sense of humor~~~~~~~~~

joerevans 0

Monday 21 February 2011 22:13

Win for Mom. What's her number?

DyingBreed47 4

Saturday 5 March 2011 7:35

Haha, that IS funny!

Gadgetlover 0

Monday 14 March 2011 20:44

This mom is AWESOME! Where can I get this mom? I need one in the closet :p

viciouspanda 0

Wednesday 23 March 2011 1:17

hahahahaah that's awesome!!!!

1_Classy_Hobo 0

Monday 25 April 2011 5:02

your mom. is an awesome mom.

niggatyrone 0

Monday 18 July 2011 7:52

haha let's trade moms!!

12dcevin 5

Monday 1 August 2011 8:01

I'm sure it was your mom

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The Top

Today, I went to the doctor because recently I've had a white liquid coming from my breast. I found out it's milk. I'm not pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 996

You deserved it 4 817

Today, my mom called, crying that my sister had dropped her kids off on my mom’s doorstep with no intention of coming back for them. I called and screamed at my sister, who then called my brother, who screamed at me for making my sister cry. All of this because her new boyfriend doesn’t like her kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 734

You deserved it 125

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument. She admitted she didn't know why she was pissed at me, but still is, and now she won't talk to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 538

You deserved it 4 180

Today, I have such crippling low self-esteem that when a girl from my class asked me out, I was instantly convinced she couldn’t actually be interested in me and must be setting me up for some sort of nasty prank, so I told her I wasn’t going to fall for it and to fuck off. She started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 430

You deserved it 1 599

Today, I was arguing with one of my professors. She said that all married couples fight and I told her that my parents have never argued or fought about anything. When I got home my parents told me that they're getting a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 016

You deserved it 13 481

Today, the checkout guy at my local store asked me if I had my hair cut. I answered and started talking about my hair, and he gave me a really weird look. He was talking to his friend, who I hadn't noticed in the queue behind me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 028

You deserved it 2 345

Today, I went to grab a coffee at a new café in town. While sipping my coffee, I noticed a man staring at me through the window. I thought he was browsing the menu before I looked up mid-sip to him staring at me in the eye, sucking on his finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 507

You deserved it 978

Today, I found out that the reason I hadn't gotten pregnant yet was because my husband had a vasectomy after the birth of his son. He even had the nerve to continously tell me, "it'll happen soon, baby" and let me believe we were trying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 515

You deserved it 3 996

Same thing different taste

Heat of the moment

Redhanded

Knock first!

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