Health: Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through... - FML

By Rowansgonnarow - 05/07/2014 20:19

Today, a girl I recently slept with messaged me, explaining through a rendition of "Call Me Maybe" that she'd given me chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 432

You deserved it 15 958

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Same thing different taste

By Justkillme - 15/11/2018 03:00

Today, I confessed my feelings to the guy I've been seeing. He confessed that he gave me chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 691

You deserved it 444

By unluckybirthdaykid - 11/09/2017 23:15

Today, my birthday, was going great until my boyfriend received a text from a girl saying he gave her chlamydia. Now I have no boyfriend, but at least I have the chlamydia keeping me company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 506

You deserved it 423

By clinictime - 11/04/2012 23:05 - Canada - Okotoks

Today, my ex, who I'm still in love with, emailed me. I thought she changed her mind about us, so I poured my heart out to her. She just wanted to let me know she has chlamydia, and advise me to go to the clinic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 520

You deserved it 5 044

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 16:00 - Sweden - Linköping

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me by testing myself for STIs/STDs and got a positive result for chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 94

By fmltom - 16/12/2015 02:21 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, my coworker, who has a tendency to overshare, decided to tell me she has chlamydia. I threw my hands in the air and said, "Stop. I don't wanna know." A customer heard this exchange and we were both written up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 758

You deserved it 1 685

Contact tracing

By Anonymous - 15/12/2020 16:58 - United States - Mechanicsburg

Today, I woke up to a text from my girlfriend telling me to call when I wake up. Turns out she had one of her friends over who tested positive for Covid and I was just at her house, so now I’m forced to quarantine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 257

By Anonymouse - 02/07/2011 07:42 - United States

Today, while I thought my brother was playing with my new phone, he was actually texting a bunch of my friends that I have chlamydia. He deleted his texts so I wouldn't see them, and I spent a half-hour trying to figure out why I kept getting texts of shock and sympathy. We're both in our 20's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 610

You deserved it 4 793

Knowledge is power

By andy - 28/01/2013 04:36 - United States - Long Beach

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 355

You deserved it 2 848

By Anonymous - 15/02/2016 01:57 - United Kingdom - Hull

Today, after trying for months for a baby, I finally got a positive test. For chlamydia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 556

You deserved it 3 320

By Bilirubin - 20/02/2010 16:22 - United States

Today, at 1am, the girl of my dreams that I've been trying for over three years to date, finally asked me out via SMS. Too bad I was asleep at the time. She now thinks I've rejected her, and will no longer speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 733

You deserved it 3 951

Next

Top comments

toxic_walrus 15

Sunday 6 July 2014 0:46

She gave you chlamydia AND has bad taste in music? You sure know how to pick em!

tj4234 35

Sunday 6 July 2014 0:49

Hey, i just ****** you. And this is crazy. I have chlamydia. So now you do maybe. Also, Sirin is the best, she's so cool. I wish she were my mum and all.

Comments

alex_gen 38

Tuesday 8 July 2014 1:39

YDI.

AngelDeLaGuardia 1

Tuesday 8 July 2014 6:13

have you tried turning it on and off

ParkwayDrive22 5

Tuesday 8 July 2014 6:48

You probably slept with my exwife. She gave me chlamydia, twice.

haylssssssssssss 1

Tuesday 8 July 2014 16:22

if I just found out I had chlamydia I wouldn't make an FML post about it lmao

AndySykes94 7

Tuesday 8 July 2014 17:01

Hopefully you wrapped it before you tapped it. Then again, she obviously felt that you didn't. Get checked and be safer next time.

sehrgutmann 19

Tuesday 8 July 2014 20:12

That really sucks man but you also deserve it if you didn't even try using any protection.

belley123 2

Wednesday 9 July 2014 3:50

damn I literally had a guy tell me that 2 weeks ago! hopefully you don't have it !

x_3p1kn4d3sh0t_x 6

Wednesday 9 July 2014 4:26

This was in the comments of the other FML about chlamydia... Jussayin'...

Chibicase 19

Wednesday 9 July 2014 8:45

"hey I just slept with you and this is crazy you have chlamydia my fault maybe?"

Whydoucare24 8

Friday 11 July 2014 4:17

So u learned a valuable lesson use a condom buddy.

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Keywords

Miscellaneous Weddings Awkward Love My ex Jealousy Friends AITA Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Relatable Therapy Mental health Covid Argument Kids Parenting Thanksgiving Ironic Medication Cute Sports Proposal Snow Cold weather Annoying Cheating Money Work

The Top

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 402

You deserved it 4 295

Today, after a broken smoke detector in my home caused the fire department to come, I got an angry visit from my neighbor who was upset because she had parked in front of a fire hydrant and got a ticket. She demands that I pay it, "or else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 748

You deserved it 2 452

The Top

Today, my new upstairs neighbours sent away a package, telling the delivery guy that the person doesn't live there anymore. The package is a birthday present from my mother in-law, and it's been sent back twice now, even after talking to them and leaving a letter for them with my name on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 033

You deserved it 865

Today, I woke up to my husband taking a piss on our bedroom floor. I screamed that he wasn't in the bathroom, to which he responded, "Shut up! I'm taking a piss, let me finish!" He has no recollection of the event. Now I have to clean up his piss and rewash my clothes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 386

You deserved it 4 145

Today, I was mugged by a guy in a Santa suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 145

You deserved it 3 215

Today, my boyfriend claims he found a way of spending time with my son without actually spending time with him. They play hide and seek, and for a long time as he shouts, “I’m gonna find you” every few minutes. The game can last over an hour while he watches TV without interruptions. Genius or asshole? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 285

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 539

You deserved it 5 452

Today, the song “Highway to Hell” played on the radio while I was driving on the highway to work, which accurately predicted how the rest of my day would pan out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 135