Love: Today, a girl stole my heart. She also stole my wallet, phone,...

By TriangularBanana - 06/05/2016 21:45 - United States - Cypress

Today, a girl stole my heart. She also stole my wallet, phone, and keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 086

You deserved it 1 593

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Same thing different taste

By Shortround - 30/09/2012 12:56 - United States - Wheaton

Today, I had three things stolen: my phone, my iPod, and my girlfriend. All by the same guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 191

You deserved it 2 916

By thanksmom - 20/07/2010 00:23 - United States

Today, I met my biological mother for the first time. She stole my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 792

You deserved it 4 108

By Anonymous - 19/08/2014 00:23 - United Kingdom

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to talk to the girl I like. After awkwardly saying hi, I manage to work up a nice conversation with her. I thought everything was going well, until I got home and realized that she had stolen money out of my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 893

You deserved it 4 681

By gunnerdog - 27/08/2013 00:22 - United States - Galveston

Today, during one of my first days as a teacher, a student stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 197

You deserved it 5 023

By Annoyed - 11/05/2016 01:23 - United States - Panama City Beach

Today, one of my students stole my wallet. I teach kindergarten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 463

You deserved it 1 233

By whaaaaat111 - 09/03/2013 12:04 - United States - Vienna

Today, while at the mall, a lady dropped her credit card while in line to buy something. I came over, picked it up and gave it to her just for her to shove it in my hand and scream, "She's stealing my wallet! My wallet!" The police came. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 712

You deserved it 2 765

By KiloLima01 - 08/01/2009 03:59 - Australia

Today, I met a really hot chick while waiting for the bus. We spoke for 4 hours till we got to our destination. She hugged me and we parted ways. Later that day I realised she stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 222

You deserved it 4 254

By tannerrosetx_1 - 06/04/2015 11:44 - United States - Irving

Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 134

You deserved it 3 725

By seththing - 22/05/2016 03:49

Today, I locked my keys in my car. I had a spare key in my wallet, that I also left in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 111

You deserved it 3 178

By Chedder - 26/06/2009 23:36 - United States

Today, I tried to keep a drunk girl from driving by holding her keys, but she had a spare set in her purse. She hit me with her car when I was walking home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 012

You deserved it 3 506

BloodyBrilliant 15

Saturday 7 May 2016 15:42

Sounds like a marriage material.

trucker2 33

Saturday 7 May 2016 15:39

Shouldn't be picking up women so close to the prison area

Comments

BobTheOctopuss 3

Saturday 7 May 2016 16:27

You must have forgot to tip. Ladies of the night aren't as forgiving as waiters...

KungFuJack3 16

Saturday 7 May 2016 16:28

How are you still alive?...

whysobeachy 37

Saturday 7 May 2016 23:57

I know, right? Last time I lost my keys, I died. :(

Darkness_Hate 29

Saturday 7 May 2016 16:35

You got f*cked but not literraly. Fyl.

False_Stupidity 41

Sunday 8 May 2016 22:26

Well, maybe he did get ****** literally... we don't know for sure!

trucker2 33

Saturday 7 May 2016 16:43

She must not have liked your car.... She didn't take that

MasterTron 24

Saturday 7 May 2016 17:11

Woke up in New York City in a funky cheap hotel She took my heart and she took my money she must've slipped me a sleeping pill

kindled_spirit 2

Saturday 7 May 2016 17:50

a story as old as time...

jeffprobs 29

Saturday 7 May 2016 17:52

"The hammer of justice is unisex!"-Batman

sixsevenoh 6

Saturday 7 May 2016 18:40

love hurts

hazzer_fml 9

Saturday 7 May 2016 20:44

Sounds like a keeper ??

ThirteenThirteen 27

Sunday 8 May 2016 0:29

You make it sound like she literally tore out your heart and then took the rest of your belongings for kicks.

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

The Top

Today, I pulled my Christmas tree out of my mother-in-law's garage, only to find out rats had ruined all the lights. The tree cost $2600. FML

I agree, your life sucks 191

You deserved it 514

Today, my parents were helping me construct my bed. We ended up not having enough screws to properly secure the frame. My dad mentioned that it might cause problems if I got a girl into my bed. My mom said, "Don't worry about it, we all know that's not going to happen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 597

You deserved it 9 210

The Top

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 685

You deserved it 2 118

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 998

You deserved it 10 971

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 957

You deserved it 6 324

Today, my husband ended an argument with, "Do you want to know why people don't like being around you?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 736

You deserved it 433

Today, after I'd been on and off with this girl for 6 years, I finally proposed in October 2018 and she'd said yes. A year later we got a house. By March, she is seeing another girl. And now, we still live together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 667

You deserved it 449

Today, I rushed to catch my bus and arrived as it pulled up, but one of the tires threw a rock at my head and knocked me out. I missed my bus and the final that I am not allowed to retake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 191

You deserved it 256

Same thing different taste

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