Work: Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I...

By Anonymous - 14/08/2013 19:47 - United States

Today, a guest of the private beach club I work at asked if I could do something about the water temperature in the ocean. I laughed, thinking it was a joke. She was serious and complained to my boss, saying I was absolutely no help. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 704

You deserved it 2 987

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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By Anonymous - 20/03/2016 22:46 - Canada - Niagara Falls

Today, while at work, I got a complaint from a guest. She complained that after spending two hours to get her hair done for a wedding, she got drenched with water from a child. I work at a WATER PARK. Thank you for calling me a pathetic asshat for no reason in front of other guests. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 224

You deserved it 1 267

By Anonymous - 05/09/2009 07:22 - United States

Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 111

You deserved it 18 089

Zedonging intensifies

By Anonymous - 02/05/2020 23:00

Today, I went downstairs to complain to my landlady that there was no water when I was trying to wash my hair. To which she replied, "No, of course there is water, it's just all going into my swimming pool." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 715

You deserved it 112

By Anonymous - 11/08/2009 08:58 - United States

Today, I was at the pool, casually flirting with one of the lifeguards. He said that he would gladly give me CPR, in the event that I needed it. I laughed and thanked him, stating that it was a sweet idea, even though I wouldn't be needing assistance. I then choked on my bottled water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 938

You deserved it 44 868

Bodyshaming

By auslander - 12/08/2009 20:13 - Switzerland

Today, as a supervisor at a water park, several clients came up to me and complained about a topless girl in our wave pool. I found the girl, called her out, and politely told her that she was not allowed in the pool without a top. "She" was a fat 15 year-old boy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 768

You deserved it 7 928

By Anonymous - 29/05/2012 18:43 - United States - Springfield

Today, while taking part in a lifeguarding exercise, I was supposed to "drown" to get another guard to save me. After all was done, my boss called me into his office and screamed at me for "drowning the wrong way," and threatening our reputation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 366

You deserved it 2 177

Baywatch

By Anonymous - 02/10/2017 19:30 - United States - Stony Brook

Today, I went to the university pool. There was this cute lifeguard there, and every time I got out of the water I saw her looking at me, so I walked up to her and asked if everything was OK. She told me she thought I was going to drown. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 349

You deserved it 509

Dumbass friends

By georgehentson - 04/08/2021 20:01

Today, my friend thought it would be funny to post a sign at the deep end of the public swimming pool, saying, "This end topless only." When someone complained, he said that I did it, and I got banned from the pool for life. And fired, too - I was the lifeguard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 178

Baywatch music starts

By Anonymous - 01/05/2019 12:00

Today, I nearly drowned. I was at a wave pool for the first time and stupidly swam out to the deep end. When the waves turned on, I discovered I can't swim in rough water. Despite my yelling, "Help!" and flailing around, the lifeguard paid me no attention. My friend had to save me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 069

You deserved it 622

By abrazama - 02/10/2009 14:20 - United Kingdom

Today, I went down to my accommodation office in fiery wrath, demanding that something be done about my three-days-cold shower. Looking dubious, they sent someone back with me. As soon as we got there he looked at me with deep pity and pulled the cord in the corner that activated the hot water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 794

You deserved it 37 273

MyCommentsSuck 21

Thursday 15 August 2013 8:52

Tell her you'll check the global thermostat, the hippies keep complaining about global warming and turning it back down.

qtbabe127 22

Thursday 15 August 2013 8:54

Yes, they do exist. And yes, they do reproduce.

Comments

DFresh503 8

Friday 16 August 2013 0:01

Clearly, OP, you could've lassoed the sun and brought it a few thousand miles closer so the ocean would be that perfect temperature. Where are your customer service skills at???

ViviMage 38

Friday 16 August 2013 1:47

You really should explain you can't control that. I couldn't control the AC of my department store. Oh, it works. Management won't run it unless we are having he district team over. We don't seem to care about the elderly getting heat stoke in 95F+ in the store. I could not get the AC on, but I at least apologized that it wasn't in my control.

DarthVader77 9

Friday 16 August 2013 6:00

You should have peed in font of her in the ocean and then say: this square metre is tad bit warner, but hurry up

merik225 14

Friday 16 August 2013 6:03

Maybe if the woman's ass wasn't so frigid, that water would have been a little warmer.

asherm 15

Friday 16 August 2013 6:27

"Sure, let me go get the electric heater and you can take it in the water with you".

robc32ca 4

Friday 16 August 2013 9:30

Sorry. Sounds like the same idiot that was yelling at the gradener in Cuba to change the flag to green so she could go out on a watercraft. I was thinking just do it!

ballpython 15

Friday 16 August 2013 13:21

you should have responded with "the sharks require colder temperatures during mating season. I am sorry but I cannot change it at the current time".

jazzymiranda 8

Tuesday 20 August 2013 16:03

Wow, just, wow

lotusenta 14

Sunday 25 August 2013 8:27

I never cease to be amazed at the levels of stupidity that humans show. And just when I thought purple couldn't get any more stupid, stuff like this happens.