Miscellaneous: Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then...

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 04:52 - United States

Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 997

You deserved it 2 766

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Same thing different taste

By NoSpirit - 01/11/2012 08:20

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 048

You deserved it 5 257

By Username - 12/11/2011 02:04 - United States

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 001

You deserved it 2 911

By Anonymous - 24/10/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 543

You deserved it 7 399

Got a little a carried away there, Skippy

By Anonymous - 31/10/2019 14:00 - Canada

Today, one of the houses had actors with chainsaws. I ran away screaming and slammed into a wall. So much for being macho this Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 1 351

Rightly so

By Anonymous - 23/04/2022 00:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, my friends and I decided to prank the pizza guy. Once he rang the doorbell, I jumped out of the bushes wearing a scary mask and holding a fake dagger. He almost instantly whipped out a Taser and got me right in the collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 2 675

By trickortreat - 01/11/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 583

You deserved it 5 090

Cursed

By Anonymous - 31/10/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I bought a Halloween fog machine to make my front yard look spooky. I didn’t realize it would set off my house's fire alarm when I tested it before putting it on the front porch. I ended up outside in full costume while firefighters checked my “haunted” house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 387

By Anonymous - 31/10/2010 00:00 - United States

Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 429

You deserved it 4 059

By downgirl - 04/11/2015 06:02 - United States - Norman

Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 223

You deserved it 2 384

By racking-leaves - 14/11/2012 19:55 - United States

Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 834

You deserved it 1 859

tkdgold03 5

Monday 26 December 2011 8:04

how unfortunate.. at least it wasn't shit..

IAMYOURPINEAPPLE 9

Monday 26 December 2011 8:10

Throw some flaming candy at him. Apparently its halloween.

Comments

Raybundles 5

Monday 26 December 2011 9:01

Maybe that was your Christmas gift ?

Okayitwasme 0

Monday 26 December 2011 9:16

That is messed! Sounds like you have some pretty board unemployed people out there.

Okayitwasme 0

Monday 26 December 2011 9:18

Bored* sorry I didn't proof read.

xStaciexLynnx 15

Monday 26 December 2011 16:03

Yes because they MUST be unemployed to be able to do that. What? No.

Okayitwasme 0

Monday 26 December 2011 23:36

Ha ha that's even worse! So, it's not boredom, but just CRAZY! Yup, that sound MUCH better.

Sericin 2

Monday 26 December 2011 9:16

53 that dribble is Not classic by any means. It's nothing but garbage left to further numb the already rotted brains of idiots

MineIsBigger 5

Monday 26 December 2011 9:24

huhuhuh you just said but(t)

kateheartswaffle 0

Monday 26 December 2011 9:19

What a charmer.

Cleo_Nemo_ 9

Monday 26 December 2011 9:34

Wow seriously what are the chances of that?

cassiebear7652 7

Monday 26 December 2011 9:36

That's the point....

shazza26 1

Monday 26 December 2011 10:13

You should have said back "no it's Christmas, you silly goose!"

wriptidez 0

Monday 26 December 2011 11:13

call cops even though its after the fact

frankothetanko 0

Monday 26 December 2011 11:29

dhiran_singh 16

Monday 26 December 2011 11:29

He's either in drugs or drunk...

Keywords

Money Health Kids Christmas You're fired Work Bodyshaming Customers Fat Am I overreacting? Social Media Love Facebook AITA Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Education Relatable Students Technology Mental health Romantic Break-ups Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Awkward Friends

The Top

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 079

You deserved it 410

Today, my dad is freaking out because he thinks he's next on the list of targets the NYC CEO shooter has. Not because he himself is a healthcare-ruining CEO, but he's a pharmacist who gets death threats every week from patients he can't give medication to, due to insurance companies denying everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 539

You deserved it 83

The Top

Today, I took a massive shit and flushed the toilet, but it apparently didn’t flush properly. My mom then entered the bathroom, took a picture of my shit, and showed it to everyone she knows. She doesn’t understand why I’m embarrassed, and thinks that I should instead "take pride" in my giant poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 234

Today, I received a mass email from my boss saying we had a position open at the daycare I work at. I knew my boyfriend was looking for a job so I insisted he apply. Later at work, my boss takes me into her office and tells me my employment is being "terminated". My boyfriend is replacing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 581

You deserved it 5 595

Today, instead of canceling for the third consecutive time due to work-related reasons, my boyfriend sent his twin brother on our date. They both thought I wouldn't notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 938

You deserved it 2 087

Today, my parents told me they wouldn't be able to afford my senior portraits. That was fine with me, until I found some expensive professional photos in the mail. Of our dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 222

You deserved it 2 480

Today, my dad met my boyfriend. It took less than 10 seconds for him to accuse my boyfriend of being a "queer" because his handshake was "too limp". FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 826

You deserved it 3 692

Today, I was at a stoplight when a guy rear-ended me going 40mph due to texting and driving. The lady in front of me ended up getting bumped by my car, totaling my car and leaving a scratch on her bumper. She refused to call an ambulance. I ended up with a mild concussion and sprained neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 453

You deserved it 614

Same thing different taste

Got a little a carried away there, Skippy

Rightly so

Cursed

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