Miscellaneous: Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then... - FML

By Anonymous - 26/12/2011 04:52 - United States

Today, a guy rang my doorbell, yelled "Happy Halloween" and then threw a bunch of leaves that he'd lit on fire at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 997

You deserved it 2 766

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Same thing different taste

By NoSpirit - 01/11/2012 08:20

Today, in the spirit of Halloween and to get back at a child who repeatedly pressed the doorbell until I showed up, I quickly opened the door and yelled "Boo!" The child ended up being carried away crying with wet pants by a mother threatening to sue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 048

You deserved it 5 257

By Username - 12/11/2011 02:04 - United States

Today, a kid came trick or treating to my house. When I told him Halloween was nearly two weeks ago, his reaction was to savagely kick me in the shin and run off screaming obscenities. This is the same kid who broke down in tears when I gave him candy on the real Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 001

You deserved it 2 911

By Anonymous - 24/10/2009 00:40 - United States

Today, I was working a haunted house. I have a really good spot where I hide and scare people. This really hot guy was walking up, and I jumped out and screamed. He punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 543

You deserved it 7 399

Got a little a carried away there, Skippy

By Anonymous - 31/10/2019 14:00 - Canada

Today, one of the houses had actors with chainsaws. I ran away screaming and slammed into a wall. So much for being macho this Halloween. FML

I agree, your life sucks 725

You deserved it 1 351

Rightly so

By Anonymous - 23/04/2022 00:00 - United States - Morganville

Today, my friends and I decided to prank the pizza guy. Once he rang the doorbell, I jumped out of the bushes wearing a scary mask and holding a fake dagger. He almost instantly whipped out a Taser and got me right in the collarbone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121

You deserved it 2 675

By trickortreat - 01/11/2009 04:23 - United States

Today, while up in my room getting ready to go out, I thought I heard some trick or treaters knocking on the door. I ignored them because I didn't have any candy. The knocking got louder and longer. I walked downstairs, and noticed that the living room ceiling was falling down onto the floor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 583

You deserved it 5 090

Cursed

By Anonymous - 31/10/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I bought a Halloween fog machine to make my front yard look spooky. I didn’t realize it would set off my house's fire alarm when I tested it before putting it on the front porch. I ended up outside in full costume while firefighters checked my “haunted” house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 387

By Anonymous - 31/10/2010 00:00 - United States

Today, a kid came Trick-or-Treating at my house. When I told her it was still one more day until Halloween, and that I didn't have any candy, she wound-up her fist, punched me in the groin, and ran off laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 429

You deserved it 4 059

By downgirl - 04/11/2015 06:02 - United States - Norman

Today, I saw the pumpkin I had put out for Halloween was starting to get mushy. I went to put it in a trash bag when it slipped out of my hands and burst over my knee. My dog heard the noise, ran into the kitchen and attacked me out of panic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 223

You deserved it 2 384

By racking-leaves - 14/11/2012 19:55 - United States

Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 834

You deserved it 1 859

Next

Top comments

tkdgold03 5

Monday 26 December 2011 8:04

how unfortunate.. at least it wasn't shit..

IAMYOURPINEAPPLE 9

Monday 26 December 2011 8:10

Throw some flaming candy at him. Apparently its halloween.

Comments

McMan 23

Monday 26 December 2011 8:42

Someone should inform this man that it isn't Halloween nor April Fools'.

Jibblets2367 7

Monday 26 December 2011 8:44

Looks like Fall all over again.…

THEDUCKGUY 2

Monday 26 December 2011 8:45

now comes the part where you light him up with a flamethrower....

AnagenisisZagus 13

Monday 26 December 2011 9:37

Yeah. Prison seems mighty fine this time of year.

fancyclown 9

Monday 26 December 2011 8:45

I'm assuming you were frail, unsuspecting, unarmed, or otherwise unfit for such a haphazard assault. The perfect victim. Step your game up, bro.

IAMYOURPINEAPPLE 9

Monday 26 December 2011 12:46

Yes, whenever I answer the door I put on my juggernaut suit, get my riot shield and tell my snipers to shoot if the stranger makes any sudden moves. Just staying safe.

Sericin 2

Monday 26 December 2011 8:45

38 no I don't believe it either

heathz 9

Monday 26 December 2011 8:46

And you didn't say thank you?!? Rude.

juliarawrawrawr_fml 0

Monday 26 December 2011 8:56

Maybe he watched The Nightmare Before Christmas (so he got mixed up between the two), then decided to be a douchebag and find a random stranger to do that to... Well, I hope besides that, your Christmas went well. :)

MineIsBigger 5

Monday 26 December 2011 8:56

FATALITY!!!!

chili_is_good 0

Monday 26 December 2011 9:21

TEE HEE

Astroashton92 6

Sunday 15 January 2012 18:48

That's the way to go. Ever since buying my copy of "How to be a Ninja" I've avoided flaming leaves for years

bbedlock_fml 7

Monday 26 December 2011 8:58

I hope nothing else caught fire!

docscientist 9

Monday 26 December 2011 8:59

He has been waiting to do the trik of treat on you for 6 weeks.

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The Top

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 510

You deserved it 15 067

Today, my thieving, layabout stepmom planted weed in my bedroom and showed my dad. Well, maybe I'm jumping to conclusions here, but her smirk and telling me later that I shouldn't fuck with her again seems conclusive to me. Goodbye freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 128

You deserved it 3 083

The Top

Today, I got called into work on my day off. I ended up being written up for being 15 minutes late to a shift I didn't even have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 903

You deserved it 1 807

Today, for the 20th time, I poured wine into my ashtray, while the glass was next to it. I also have the bad habit of tipping my ash into my drink. What the fuck is wrong with me? Maybe I should look at what I'm doing instead of the PC screen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 103

You deserved it 1 285

Today, my friends learned that if you play "connect the dots" with the pimples on my back the resulting picture is a large penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 392

You deserved it 5 369

Today, I left a message for a potential employer. It wasn't until after I'd hung up that I realized I'd given them their own phone number to call me back at. Not getting that job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 603

You deserved it 9 711

Today, my family and I were in New Orleans. We passed by all of the naughty peep shows with posters of naked women everywhere on the way to dinner. At the restaurant, my dad asked me if that was the first pair of boobs I'd seen. My mom butted in saying, "Nah, remember all that porn we found?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 918

You deserved it 27 381

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet, now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 737

You deserved it 2 457