Miscellaneous: Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied,...

By gaagaa - 04/04/2012 03:53 - United States

Today, a lady told me her husband had sinus surgery. I replied, "Oh, I know someone who just had that done." I then realized I meant Alexis on The Real Housewives of the OC. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 158

You deserved it 28 375

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
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Same thing different taste

Blockages

By jakestorm - 04/09/2019 20:00

Today, my girlfriend texted me to pick her up some medicine because she’s "all plugged up." When I arrived with laxatives, she yelled at me. She meant her sinuses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 378

Foot meet mouth

By Anonymous - 12/04/2016 15:44 - United States - Ridley Park

Today, I overheard a coworker talking about going to what sounded like a dentist's appointment. As she left later, I jokingly said, "Remember to open wide!" Turned out her appointment was with her OB/GYN, not a dentist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 458

You deserved it 7 828

By Anonymous - 07/01/2011 02:59 - United States

Today, after lifting a 20 pound box of oranges for a woman at work, she turned around to say "Your acne needs help." I still had to tell her to have a good day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 158

You deserved it 2 933

And you ask find yourself, "Well, how did I get here?"

By soontobesingle - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Sherborne

Today, my husband called me, saying he was in the hospital with a friend who'd just broken his arm. Too bad I then heard a female voice in the background mutter, "She'll never buy that". FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 021

You deserved it 4 409

Parasocial relationships

By Laura - 21/07/2022 10:00

Today, my friend was telling me about her issues with her boyfriend, and I said, "Damn, that sounds just like a couple I know!" She asked me who, which is when I realised I was actually thinking about Davide and Ekin-Su on Love Island. FML

I agree, your life sucks 213

You deserved it 826

By jamjamy - 26/12/2008 04:53 - France

Today, at work as an optician, I gave a little girl a new pair of glasses and asked her if she could see better with them. She replied, "Oh, yeah, you've got two big zits on your nose!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 038

You deserved it 2 634

By Anonymous - 02/02/2018 01:30

Today, I found out that my husband’s crazy ex girlfriend has not only moved to our area, but has also landed herself on his patient list. He’s a gynecologist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 486

You deserved it 379

Cold open

By AbsentMindedBoy - 03/03/2009 04:09 - Canada

Today, I visited my ex-girlfriend's house. I saw her mother and asked, "Hi! Have you recovered from that nasty cold that you had for so long?" She said, "I don't have a cold," to which I smiled and said, "That's great to hear!" Turns out she has lung cancer instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 635

You deserved it 15 770

By Anonymous - 07/02/2015 18:32 - United Kingdom - Wallasey

Today, my sister tried to convince me to go to a plastic surgeon, because "Bitchface Syndrome's no joke." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 251

You deserved it 3 939

By fleatitting fame - 04/07/2014 21:30 - Norway - Oslo

Today, a guy told me that I look like Angelina Jolie. Before I could thank him, he continued, "I mean like in the chest area. After the mastectomy, you know?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 927

You deserved it 3 795

Blueglasscup 18

Wednesday 4 April 2012 9:11

OP, this is an intervention.

anelelabel 6

Wednesday 4 April 2012 9:03

Too much tv.

Comments

WaSiSimiLang 8

Wednesday 4 April 2012 9:39

The moment that you know you need to get out more is when...

WaSiSimiLang 8

Wednesday 4 April 2012 9:41

Oh shit didn't see the comments before writing my own... -.-

twood03 2

Wednesday 4 April 2012 9:42

Dumb bitch

randomkayx3 11

Wednesday 4 April 2012 9:45

It's alright. What she doesn't know won't hurt her, right?

berichsoon 11

Wednesday 4 April 2012 9:56

Totally get what you saying, I once witnessed an accident and didn't think it was real from watching a lot of movies

Angelrose2004 17

Wednesday 4 April 2012 9:57

At least watching tv hasn't caused you to develop a limp in your right leg.

brendazelada 10

Wednesday 4 April 2012 10:06

One true fan!!

br0ccoli 14

Wednesday 4 April 2012 10:06

These reality tv shows seem so real, they're "inception-ing" people. Soon, our memories will only be as good as the friendships people have with their 2000 Facebook friends.

CALLAHAN4 0

Wednesday 4 April 2012 10:08

dumb.

MariJ82 14

Wednesday 4 April 2012 10:13

So you know a reality show persona who's had it done...same diff...except not only did they probably not pay for the procedure, but they got paid for having the thing taped.