By Anonymous - 11/01/2011 17:59 - United States

Spicy
Today, a month after my 21st birthday, I received my health exam results. I don't remember the night of the birthday because I was hammered. However, I called my friend and it's now clear that the stripper they paid to have her way with me, had Chlamydia. FML
I agree, your life sucks 17 394
You deserved it 35 724
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Top comments

Sparkiee93 3

Don't be a fool, wrap your tool. You won't get sick if you cover your dick. If you think she's spunky cover your monkey. Don't be silly, cover your willy. Before you attack her wrap your whacker. Don't be a loner cover your boner. Sex is cleaner with a packaged wiener. Don't let your affection give you an infection, put some protection on that erection. IF YOU'RE NOT GOING TO WRAP IT JUST GO HOME AND WHACK IT

121 3
Babushka_Homyak 10

That is ****** up. Get new friends.

80 4

Comments

AnRom 0

sounds like she was more than just a stripper

0 0
whatyotalkinbout 0

you should charge her with rape. you can't give consent while drunk

0 0
lulzaroonie 0

ydi for being that drunk that you a: forgot to use protection, while b: sleeping with a hooker (please, a woman that strips and sleeps with you for money is a total hooker) and c: forgot it the next day.

3 1
Ray_of_midnight 22

Treat this as a wake-up call. Use protection next time. And don't get so inebriated that you lose your ability to make sound risk-management decisions around safer sex. You're lucky it was chlamydia--easily curable--and not something like AIDS or Hep C.

2 0
dlangel 2

yup, and don't drink if you can't remember what happens when you do. it's one thing to remember your shitty decisions while drunk, another to forget them completely.

0 0
MaximilianMarche 0

hahaha! win^. op got what his friends paid for lol

0 1
Babushka_Homyak 10

I'm sorry, but I've never met a single person in my entire life who was able to practice any sort of control while being inebriated to the point of being black-out. A lot of people celebrate their 21st in this way, but the difference between them and OP is that they have friends who care about them and won't do stupid shit like this.

2 2
bourzouf_fml 0

hahahaha what a prick... yeah lucky u that it's easily curable with antibiotics... anyway... getting laid on birthday is always awesome haha

0 0
kryptography 0

YDI for saying a stripper "had her way with you." Next time, try being the man in bed. Oh, and wear a condom when you're ****ing a prostitute - what are you, an idiot? Next time it could be HIV.

1 3
EvilDave 13

He was so drunk, he doesn't remember the night. If he were a woman, he could claim rape. Now STFU, you asshole.

0 0