Well, men can have vaginas, and therefore also get pregnant, so... it's perfectly valid to not know from the conversation if the OP was a man or woman.

But you're like smoking hot wth...

I'm glad I could bring humor to her day, honestly, she seemed like she was having a rough day during the "routine questions" :) We're going on two years of marriage with less than a dozen times of successful intercourse. So I guess if I can't "lighten up" about it, I'm in for a long road. My husband and I talk, especially when I feel like I'm not "wanted" and are gradually working through it. He has kids from his previous marriage so he "is" capable of it... but I don't want sympathy sex either. I want my partner to want to engage, but if he truly is asexual (which I believe strongly that he is) I guess sympathy is the only to be had from an asexual individual. Either way... I am glad I could give her a smile/laugh in the work environment she (and you) work in.

I can sympathize, been married for 12 years, no sex in the last 4, before that maybe sex once a year. We did manage to have 'successful' intercourse a few times in the first year we were married, but my husband cannot seem to 'finish', during intercourse. I would class him as asexual, it's very frustrating when people ask why we don't have any kids, they assume it's a problem with me. Unfortunately I was raised to be a good Christian girl, therefore no sex before marriage, and thus didn't realise that my husband was like this. He also refuses to see a Dr or talk to anyone, which is very frustrating. It's fun when I have my Pap test, my Dr says I am tighter than a virgin and she has to use a paediatric speculum. Way too much info there, but I wanted you to know you are not on your own. I just wish I had slept with a few of the guys I dated before I got married, rather than saving it for nothing. Lucky I have B.O.B, Battery Operated Boyfriend.

Thank you SO mucb for writing this statement here. Whenever there is an FML about sex or pregnancy here that involves terms like boyfriend or girlfriend they get bashed by people for having sex before marriage. I led an active sex life before marriage for about ten years with a good handful of partners. This is not the same as screwing around, being a *****. That is just not marrying fresh from school "so I can finally have sex" and it's not walking into marriage blindly and unaware of your own and your partners preferences before you tie the knot. Also, because people always argue that having more than one partner in life/before marriage: Is my hubby the best sexual partner I ever had? No. Am I unhappy because I know what it could be like? No, because he is the best man there is for me, hands down, as a partner and as a father to our kids, and the sex is still good and satisfying. And now I will step down from my soap box. Also, I hope you and your hubby find a way to have kids if you still want them. And have fun with BOB.

dear ladies, no offense but why stay in such a relationship? I mean you have the right and desire to have kids and enjoy life... why put up with living with such men?!? they are selfish as they could at least do the effort to please you at least orally or using toys and have sex for procreation purposes... what they do is not right and you should not put up with such a situation... especially in the case when he was married previously and had kids... ladies this world is wonderful, orgasms are fantastic, multiple orgasms are real and you can have kids too, you just need to Move Out of your relationship!

When I got married, I didn't get married to have sex. I got married because I loved my husband. While I naively assumed sex would be part of our marriage (honestly, who wouldn't) there is more to marriage than just sex. I think of our relationship as if he had an accident and lost his penis. If the person you loved had an accident, and they became paralyzed, would you dump them? I love my husband, and even though I get very frustrated sometimes, he is very generous in other areas. Yes I could break up with him, but then run the risk of never finding another person to love, or finding someone who is good in bed, but treats me terribly, or is abusive or cheats on me. In the past, when I tried to think logically about the lack of sex in our marriage, I felt physically ill at the thought of leaving him, or having sex with someone else. The only conclusion I can come to is I love my husband. We dated for more than 2 years before we got married, I wanted to be sure that he was the right person and not rush into anything. As for children, I am too old now, and my husband was too embarrassed to get checked out, let alone provide a sample for IVF or other fertility treatments. I am content with being the best Aunt in the world. PS Anyone notice the irony of my last post being #99?

Edit #69, not #99! Of course I would notice that just as the timer ran out!

Like you, I didn't marry my husband to have sex. However, he was my first sexual partner and with a very "biased" mother grinding it into my head that something was wrong with him because he didn't want sex... Has long since killed my libido. My husband is very caring, loving, fun, and supportive. We share intimate moments in other ways, but I just feel like I'm missing out on sex. That being said, I am not willing to leave my husband because his lack of sex drive or wander outside the marriage to have these needs met. Honestly, I just want to avoid my bitterness in his disinterest in sex. To stop taking it personally, to realize we're both too busy to fool around and just take life as it comes. It becomes almost unbearable when watching movies that have a bit of "fun" in them and I can't help but get angry all over again. My husband is older than me, has a child, so there's no question he "works." But with such a demanding ex-wife, I often wonder if his lackluster libido is a result of his ex-wife and my inexperience. If it doesn't feel great, why do it? The times I recall having successful intercourse wasn't mind blowing it was uncomfortable and awkward and I came to the conclusion I didn't need this. I didn't know how to have sex, he didn't seem to care, and it didn't "blow my mind" like everyone I knew that was married. I've felt jilted by "behaving" and "waiting" for marriage for the right spouse. I felt shortly after our marriage and failed sex life, that if I didn't wait 'til marriage and fooled around, he'd want to have sex with me, but too late for that. Just to put it out there, I grew up in a Christian family, so it should be no surprise in how I respected myself and my values.

why are you staying married for?