Animals: Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction...

By ohmy - 17/12/2009 19:09 - Canada

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 559

You deserved it 27 864

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Same thing different taste

Leave spiders to chill

By Anonymous - 17/12/2020 14:07

Today, I saw a spider in my room. I got a piece of paper to try and put it outside. As I reached, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to smack where the spider was - my face. I fell on the floor disoriented. The spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 731

You deserved it 323

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 463

By Anonymous - 18/10/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 229

You deserved it 41 625

By OuchImAMoron - 29/11/2013 02:05 - United States - Old Bridge

Today, I was cleaning a pocketknife when I noticed a spider on my leg. My first reaction was to stab it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 459

You deserved it 46 723

Chance encounter

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my cat ran outside. As I ran around the side of my house to get her, I felt a gigantic spiderweb land on my face. I also felt a light thud on my eye and it started to tear up. I ran inside and looked in a mirror, the spider was in my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 251

You deserved it 3 580

By baconandkittens - 26/02/2012 03:13 - United States

Today, I was washing dishes when I picked up a plate and saw a huge spider. Trying to be nice, I took the plate outside and tried to gently push the spider off. The wind blew it into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 565

You deserved it 5 784

By spideypowers - 05/09/2009 04:06 - United States

Today, as I was using my mom's computer, a spider crawled onto the screen. So as per my usual reaction to seeing a spider, I smashed it as fast as I could. I missed the spider, but now I have to buy my mom a new monitor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 461

You deserved it 44 407

By spiderwoman - 15/04/2011 11:47 - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 299

You deserved it 32 193

Juicy breakfast

By Anonymous - 07/01/2022 01:01 - Canada - Warman

Today, I woke up to a spider crawling across my face. I was so shocked that my new house had spiders, I jumped up out of bed, only to slip on the floor and land face down onto the bed. Wouldn't you know it, right where the spider was at that point. I can still taste the juice I squished out of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 050

You deserved it 160

Spider-man

By Anonymous - 16/10/2019 16:00

Today, I tried to catch a spider in a glass. It was on the paper and I wanted it to fall into the glass, but I moved the paper the wrong way, screeched like a banshee and flung the glass at the floor. I was barefoot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 609

You deserved it 1 321

dahlia14 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 23:10

coulda had a v8

pooley182 0

Thursday 17 December 2009 23:11

my god i laughed so hard, that mental image totally made my day.

Comments

lostfaithinpppl 19

Friday 18 December 2009 1:56

I hope you knocked some sense into yourself.

chedgefa 0

Friday 18 December 2009 2:05

I feel sorry for the spider

pursuethemoment 0

Friday 18 December 2009 2:13

hahahahahahahahahahahahaha that's awesome!

psychoxxxinvader 3

Friday 18 December 2009 2:28

It would have been even funnier if your glasses broke and a shard of glass went into your eye :D

silbern 0

Friday 18 December 2009 2:35

I agree with #30! now that would have been a FML

Arrow_fml 0

Friday 18 December 2009 2:56

That's what you get for trying to kill things. Asshole.

damian12 0

Friday 18 December 2009 3:00

hahhahaahah the best one i've ever read

ILoveMyLifeSoMuc 0

Friday 18 December 2009 3:31

and the fml is??? there is a such thing as taking OFF the glasses you know...

DreamTheater858 0

Friday 18 December 2009 3:56

this is more like MLIA XDDDD

monbon6788 0

Friday 18 December 2009 4:09

*sees spider* *readys hand* *aims* ...... doh!

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 54 649

You deserved it 6 211

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I agree, your life sucks 23 130

You deserved it 5 601

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I agree, your life sucks 74 346

You deserved it 9 873

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I agree, your life sucks 34 979

You deserved it 4 884

Today, I went with my friend door-to-door selling chocolates. We went to the first house, and the guy decided to buy a chocolate from each of us. He didn't have change and neither did we, so he just took the chocolates and slammed the door in our face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 928

You deserved it 7 045

Today, a student came in late to class, and there were only a couple of seats available. I waved her over offering her the seat beside me with the quip, "It's OK, you can sit by me. I don't smell or anything." I realized after she sat down that she actually did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 577

You deserved it 5 189