Health: Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash...

By JimiHendrix - 01/03/2013 01:55 - France - Luynes

Today, a wasp knocked me out, broke my glasses, and left a gash over my eyebrow. It did so by flying under my glasses while I was playing my guitar, causing me to reflexively bat at it with the hand that was still grasping the guitar neck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 976

You deserved it 7 362

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Same thing different taste

By Screamslikeagirl - 27/09/2016 19:17 - United States - Union City

Today, there must have been a wasp clinging to my front door because when I walked outside, it dropped between my glasses and my face and began stinging me all around my eye. I don't know if my eye is more swollen from the stings or from me repeatedly punching myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 151

You deserved it 1 175

By Anonymous - 18/12/2010 23:47 - United States

Today, I was trying to swat a wasp in my bedroom. I got so frustrated that I ended up punching myself in the face. The wasp is still here, and now I look like I've been in a brawl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 553

You deserved it 29 261

Free glasses for all

By Kat - 12/02/2022 12:01 - New Zealand - Gisborne

Today, as I was hanging washing out in the sun, a huge cicada flew into my face and somehow got behind my glasses. I screamed and ripped them off and ran away. I came back to a broken pair of VERY expensive glasses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 809

You deserved it 404

Protein source

By Anonymous - 13/08/2021 17:01 - United States - Chicago

Today, a gnat hit my forehead, fell into the space between my glasses and my face, and bounced off my eye while trying desperately to escape. When I tried to get my glasses off, it fell into my mask instead, and I accidentally inhaled it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 900

You deserved it 157

By IHateMyJob - 14/09/2010 02:00 - United States

Today, while scrubbing my car with the foam brush at a car wash, the hose for the brush came whipping around and smacked me hard in the side of the head, knocking off my glasses. I got disoriented from the blow and stepped on my glasses, completely smashing them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 722

You deserved it 3 397

By Sting - 26/04/2016 20:49 - United States - Manassas

Today, there was a gigantic wasp in my room. It stupidly flew upwards and got hit by the rotating fan. It then immediately decided to take it's revenge by stinging me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 464

You deserved it 1 024

By Username - 25/05/2010 12:32 - France

Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 103

You deserved it 36 207

Ouchies

By Anonymous - 04/10/2015 23:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was stung by a wasp. Startled, I stumbled and grabbed a nearby tree branch to regain my balance. The branch happened to be the location of the wasp's nest, which fell to the ground and split open. The wasps weren't happy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 317

You deserved it 1 959

Sleep well?

By Karen - 29/08/2022 16:00

Today, there was a wasp tangled in my bed sheets. I found this out when I rolled over it in my sleep, and it stung me on the lower back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 74

By ohmy - 17/12/2009 19:09 - Canada

Today, a spider crawled across my glasses' lens. My first reaction was to smack myself in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 559

You deserved it 27 864

Redlawnchair 9

Friday 1 March 2013 6:16

Seriously awesome mental image.

packrat 26

Friday 1 March 2013 6:17

Next time "bee" careful!

Comments

lifeisgood_03 8

Friday 1 March 2013 11:17

damn.. bugs are dangerous!

grumpybr 13

Friday 1 March 2013 14:04

Reflexes. Not much you can do about them.

roloroelie 4

Friday 1 March 2013 15:15

wasp level: parkour

danielhartlesss 13

Friday 1 March 2013 15:58

Those aren't reflexes, you're just a moron.

viper8608 9

Friday 1 March 2013 17:40

wasp: noun. 1. douchebag of the world. 2. insect species put on earth solely to f*^$ your day up.

lux0rd 18

Friday 1 March 2013 20:57

Poor wasp. Don't blame the wasp for your idiocy

newyorkcityguy 9

Friday 1 March 2013 22:43

Haha I hope you're joking. "Poor wasp" POOR WASP?!?!

dancinwookie 21

Friday 1 March 2013 22:24

Something tells me that Jimi Hendrix never would've done that. You're lucky you had the glasses on! You'd probably have poked your eye out otherwise.

mikeymayhem_87 15

Saturday 2 March 2013 0:27

It happens to us all.... Even trumpet players and symphony conductors!

russianspy1234 11

Saturday 2 March 2013 2:05

Am I the only one who thought this was about a WASP (as in White Anglo-Saxon Protestant) at first?

mikeymayhem_87 15

Sunday 3 March 2013 18:55

It could be about the band WASP too. (We Are Sexual Predators)

Manicpanic13 9

Saturday 2 March 2013 5:13

Domino effect...

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I woke up with the flu that causes me to throw up violently until I dry heave and can't breathe. I told my mom I would rather have the runs, and not even a minute later, I got them. So now if I move too fast, I throw up, and if I don't move fast enough, I shit myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 668

You deserved it 3 982

Today, and for the past month, I've been feeling lightheaded from a breathing problem. I've now been prescribed a medication to help with my anxiety and my breathing issue, which would in turn help stop me from getting so lightheaded. The side effect of said medication: lightheadedness. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 868

You deserved it 295

The Top

Today, I got bored looking at porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 210

You deserved it 39 611

Today, I admitted to my parents that I have an eating disorder. Instead of trying to help, my mom stared at me and said, "Duh". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 597

You deserved it 4 408

Today, at work, I decided to try and impress this girl walking behind me by holding the door open for her. As she was walking through, I inadvertently pulled the door too hard. It slammed against the wall and ricochet back, hitting her right in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 630

You deserved it 19 524

Today, my daughter's 14-year-old boyfriend confessed, in front of her, that he only went out with her so he might have a chance to date me. My daughter isn't speaking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 411

You deserved it 1 900

Today, I went and got a spray on tan. I forgot to push the hair cap up. A few hours later, I was completely tan, except for the top half of my forehead was pasty white. It will last for five days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 190

You deserved it 62 607

Today, I found out that the mysterious yellow mould that won't come off my apartment floor is in fact the remains of a condom my room-mate used when she was f*cking her boyfriend in my bed. Afterwards, she apparently threw it on the floor and let it lie there. For three weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 341

You deserved it 4 223