Health: Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on...

By adamclmns - 16/07/2011 22:52 - United States

Today, after a stressful week, I spent my last few dollars on some comfort food. Later, my roommate's girlfriend came over and helped herself to my juice, drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm such a germaphobe, I can't bring myself to even take a sip. It's a full bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 249

You deserved it 15 213

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By LilyL - 06/06/2010 21:53 - United States

Today, I spent hours cleaning the kitchen that my slob roommates always neglect. I scrubbed the floor, emptied the fridge, washed all the dishes, etc. When I was done, I was thirsty so I got myself a soda. I opened the can, and it exploded and sprayed everything I had just washed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 167

You deserved it 5 729

The first step is admitting you have a problem: take away is bad for you.

By Tyr88 - 05/03/2017 02:00 - Australia - Blakehurst

Today, I opened my fridge. It's entire contents: half a takeaway meal and 4 bottles of wine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 556

You deserved it 1 610

By Anonymous - 14/05/2015 02:37 - United Kingdom

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 259

You deserved it 36 941

Hormonal hell

By Anonymous - 05/08/2020 23:02

Today, someone drank a sip of my single serve pasteurized orange juice and put it back in the fridge, ignoring the whole jug of non-pasteurized juice, that I cant drink because im pregnant. I cried. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 494

You deserved it 272

Morning pick-me-up

By Anonymous - 30/01/2011 05:05 - United States

Today, upon waking up, I took a sip on what I thought was a cup of water on my nightstand. I quickly discovered it was my roommate's cup of used mouthwash which she was too lazy to throw out the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 965

You deserved it 8 665

Gross!

By cantstopfeelingit - 16/12/2019 05:00

Today, my roommate moved out. When I went into his room, I found a few things he forgot. Specifically, his beer bottle filled with nail clippings. I emptied it onto my hand before I realized what it was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 209

You deserved it 2 490

By ohnolunch - 05/03/2009 20:12 - United States

Today, I came back to my apartment to see that my roommate had left out bread, deli meat, and cheese on the counter, and made myself a sandwich. When she came back, she informs me that she found bugs in the fridge and took out all the food she thought would be contaminated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 741

You deserved it 15 973

By stillsick - 02/03/2011 00:11 - Canada

Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 473

You deserved it 3 259

Nooooooo… !

By Nicole Jones - 01/10/2020 22:02 - United Kingdom

Today, after having a hard week, I decided to order a pizza with an expensive milkshake. It slipped out of my hand in front of the lift. It went everywhere. I had nothing on me to clean it up with. Now I’m milkshakeless, down £5, and accidentally responsible for littering my accommodation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 979

You deserved it 165

By anonymous - 08/10/2011 20:40 - United States

Today, to keep me from "getting fatter", my roommate raided the kitchen. She ate everything from cookies and ice cream to deli meat. The only thing left in the house are vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 560

You deserved it 17 497

SpankyMcThrust 6

Sunday 17 July 2011 1:36

I ******* hate it when people drink from the container; I don't give a **** about germs, learn some goddamn manners! Especially if you don't live there/aren't family.

thehoneybadger 10

Sunday 17 July 2011 1:35

Just poke a hole in the side of the bottle and drain it out into a bowl or something. It won't have to go past the Infected Area of the bottle.

Comments

pdk420 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 0:54

full*

NickiPLZ 13

Tuesday 19 July 2011 4:26

Seriously? Either wipe the top of the bottle or pour it in a different cup. Use your common sense.

unixdude 9

Tuesday 19 July 2011 6:16

Juice is full of all types of germs. Holy hell it's one of the nastiest things you can eat that isn't made of meat. She did you a favor. And, by the way, your toilet seat is cleaner than your keyboard.

christyk26 0

Tuesday 19 July 2011 11:39

she seems classy....

Jenmaree 9

Tuesday 19 July 2011 17:26

Wee in it and leave it for the rude bitch to finish.

FeistyKitten 3

Tuesday 19 July 2011 20:23

Make her buy more? If its yours and she didn't ask then you're perfectly valid in asking for her to replace it.

Dzeus1 1

Tuesday 19 July 2011 21:47

I remember that I used to just a little bit germophobic and a bit ocd, but it started fading away in my teenage years and now i don't have that shit anymore. I was my hands when I come out of the toilet and don't lick my hand when I touch rails but that's just common sence. I think that germophobia is some crazy shit. I just don't think about the germs. If you're germophobic, how you kiss your girlfriend or even touch her?