Embarrassing, Vacation, Awkward and beach: Don't ass-u-me

Don't ass-u-me

By yoyo22 - 05/12/2009 21:04 - United States

Today, I was at the beach with my friend on vacation. We were playing Marco Polo in the ocean and I was Marco. I thought I heard my friend, so I lunged forward and grabbed her. Too bad it wasn't my friend, it was an old guy in a pink speedo, and I grabbed his butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 992

You deserved it 9 431

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By klutz - 10/08/2009 14:34 - United States

Today, me and my friend were following this hot lifeguard around a waterpark. In the wave pool, I decided to be cute and "accidentally" bump into him during the waves to start a conversation. As I prepared to do this, a large wave pushed me off my feet and I fell face-first into his butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 855

You deserved it 56 839

By beachbum - 27/02/2009 06:03 - United States

Today, I was at the beach with my buddy. Messing around, he swam up behind me and dunked me under the water. Naturally, moments later I swam behind him, grabbed both his ankles and stood up, flipping him completely, only to see him watching me from a few feet away. I flipped a 70 year old man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 452

You deserved it 54 153

By paymeinhugs - 17/03/2009 01:04 - United States

Today, I was swimming in the ocean with my best friend and a giant wave came and knocked off the bottom of my bikini. My friend told me that she would go get another bottom so I could walk onto the very crowded beach. She left me for half an hour, laughing from the shore with her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 89 532

You deserved it 6 347

By anonymous - 30/07/2014 02:36 - United States - Williamsburg

Today, I was at the beach with a group of friends, including the guy I like. As soon as we got to the beach, I ran toward the water and he chased after me. It was a beautiful moment until I looked back at him, tripped, fell on my face and slid down the beach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 030

You deserved it 7 475

This is fine

By Anonymous - 09/06/2012 02:36 - United Kingdom - London

Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 660

You deserved it 10 375

Public freakout time

By camzzz - 02/07/2011 08:27 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were walking around when she got lost in a crowd. And me, being a pig, playfully grabbed her butt. I realized it wasn't hers when the guy whose butt I'd grabbed by accident knocked me unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 196

You deserved it 47 793

By loser. - 20/03/2010 06:23 - Canada

Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 611

You deserved it 5 502

By babydoll13211 - 04/09/2009 21:36 - United States

Today, I was at a friend's pool party. He lives on a lake and one of our friends wouldn't get in the water. My best friend and I decided to push him off the dock. Once we had, I turned to see my crush who had watched looked shocked, then said, "You know he can't swim right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 318

You deserved it 66 307

Hey guys!

By iannie - 31/07/2011 21:45 - United States

Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 392

You deserved it 39 513

By Username - 05/06/2019 20:00

Today, at the beach, I swam pretty far out into the ocean. I ended up getting pummelled by the waves and got a painful cramp in my leg. The whole beach watched me flail and scream, while my friends rolled their eyes as they dragged me out of the water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 450

You deserved it 930

ItsAshxD 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 1:48

Priceless.

lifeinoz 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 2:10

Who the hell plays Marco Polo in the freakin ocean? YDI!

Comments

ItsAshxD 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 1:48

Priceless.

Killuhk 8

Tuesday 5 June 2012 20:57

Marco polo in the ocean?????? You're crazy lol

Spongebobs 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 1:49

First and YDI

vitafabula 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 1:53

haha. fail.

Anteezy 7

Sunday 6 December 2009 2:02

Gratz on being first! :D

xoxospontaneousx_fml 0

Saturday 16 April 2011 15:42

actually, ur second

mich23 10

Sunday 6 December 2009 1:52

I'm sure he enjoyed it!

TheLoneWolf87 4

Sunday 6 December 2009 1:54

AWWYEAH

blakehilli8 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 2:00

LALALALagirrl 1

Sunday 6 December 2009 2:05

LMFAO, oh mann, thatt reeally suucks:| i think you should limit that gamee to pools.. with no old men, or anyone in speedos in them:)

lifeinoz 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 2:10

Who the hell plays Marco Polo in the freakin ocean? YDI!

FMLFORTHEWIN 0

Friday 21 January 2011 6:11

bwahahahaaaa

Parky03 9

Monday 29 October 2012 6:59

Thinks*She's Probably over there!* *Swims for five minutes* *Opens eyes* Where is the shore?...

I_am_stupid_also 6

Sunday 6 December 2009 2:15

That's a pretty clever trick that guy has to imitate girls' voices.

Whydoyouask 11

Sunday 6 December 2009 3:05

lol, I just thought that his friend sounded like old men.

XxlGhostlxX 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 2:22

marco's greats epic fails of todays theme pink speedo gone wild

honutattoo 0

Sunday 6 December 2009 2:22

who closes their eyes in the ocean? YDI

lilmisslovely13 15

Saturday 7 May 2011 15:02

very good point ;D

Keywords

Awkward Embarrassing Miscellaneous Work Sleep Dating Love Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Gross Friends Public freakouts Fight Cops Drugs Neighbours Medication Relatable Dogs Animals Teenagers Gamers Ironic Video games Job interview

The Top

Today, my longtime crush, who turned me down because he’s “sick of women”, just got into a relationship. He made it Facebook official, with photos of them and everything. Wanting to even the score, I commented, “So it seems your sickness of women is cured, huh?” He bitched at me for “ruining his moment” and deleted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 106

You deserved it 982

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 123

You deserved it 40 855

The Top

Today, after my two credit cards were stolen, thousands were charged before I could cancel. The thief dropped nearly $1,000 at Juicy Couture, so she/he is somewhere laughing at me in a magenta, rhinestoned "leisure suit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 272

You deserved it 3 727

Today, I saw my dad naked. How? He came into the room I was staying in, drunk. I'm gonna need a whole lot of therapy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 608

You deserved it 93

Today, someone posted photos from a party I was at. On each photo I'm posing in with a girl, my hand is not touching her, but is hovering over her like some creepy weirdo loser. My Facebook nickname is now of course "Hover Hand." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 158

You deserved it 22 996

Today, I got my projects printed and spiral bound, only to get a text from my teacher 30 minutes later that everything must be in black and white. I paid extra money to have them in colour. When I asked her if colour was okay, she said, "I never asked for colour and I want it in black and white for everyone." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 051

You deserved it 278

Today, my mom scooped the litter box right before I went to work. I brown bagged my lunch this morning. She brown bagged the poop from the litter box. Both were on the counter. Guess which one I brought to work? FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 037

You deserved it 14 695

Today, my husband sped my car up to 80 in a 30, and almost crashed, which would have killed us both. What did I do to set him off? I played a song he didn't like. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 048

You deserved it 161