Intimacy: Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months...

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By ReallyBro - 21/03/2012 07:27 - United States - Keller

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 542

You deserved it 11 388

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Same thing different taste

Going well, isn't it

By theproblemboblem - 29/04/2021 14:00

Today, after weeks of begging my boyfriend of almost two years to have sex with me, he told me to find someone else to fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 629

You deserved it 305

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 836

You deserved it 5 309

No gods, no masters

By anon - 31/07/2015 20:28 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 394

You deserved it 34 761

Nope

By Anonymous - 15/01/2013 17:45 - United States

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 853

You deserved it 6 673

Noobs

By Blueberrypicc - 13/08/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 363

You deserved it 38 136

By Anonymous - 05/02/2013 06:40 - United States - Northbrook

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 153

You deserved it 39 700

Lost

By Alicia - 21/01/2010 05:02 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were trying to have sex for the first time. Not only did he struggle for five minutes to put on a condom (repeatedly snapping himself in the balls), but he then had to ask me "which hole" to put it in. I'm dating a thirty-four year old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 423

You deserved it 6 366

You've tried this before, right?

By xxxzzzooo - 02/01/2010 17:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 578

You deserved it 3 809

Bad sex ed

By Sex ed instructor, fuck me - 18/04/2022 06:00

Today, I was ready to have sex with my new boyfriend. Turns out he's a 30 year-old virgin who doesn't know shit. He couldn't find my vagina and was just humping my crotch, then when he finally got it in it was 5 pumps, a squirt and done. He thinks he did a good job. Now I have to teach him how to do it properly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 156

You deserved it 833

Instructions

By Anonymous - 31/03/2009 05:40 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "What do I do now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 143 606

You deserved it 16 453

redmnky21 8

Wednesday 21 March 2012 15:59

wow... how old are you... sounds like your way to young for sex

mookie24 2

Wednesday 21 March 2012 16:00

How old is this guy? You shouldn't have to persuade anybody to have sex

Comments

Luckyman22 5

Friday 23 March 2012 5:37

Thank you murdersquirrel!

caleismyth 5

Friday 23 March 2012 10:31

there arnt enough jacky chan rage faces in the world to describe this fail.

joncole 6

Friday 23 March 2012 10:38

1)how old are you guys 2) wtf he's gay if you had to coax him into it

DiscoRanger 0

Friday 23 March 2012 16:15

._.

melantysaurus 3

Friday 23 March 2012 23:18

He's gay. Move on

amaliedanielle 0

Friday 23 March 2012 23:39

LAWL

ultra_notorious 26

Wednesday 28 March 2012 21:09

you look pretty hott, I'd hit it!

xDani 3

Saturday 24 March 2012 9:12

He might have a phobia of intercourse? It's rare, but it exists. Might explain why he didn't try for 18 months and why he couldn't get it up for the first attempt. He was probably mentally ******** his pants. :P