Kids: Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want...

By Anonymous - 20/06/2012 16:41 - United States - Naperville

Today, after careful consideration, I told my wife I really want to have kids. She laughed, until she finally realized I was serious, at which point she flicked me in the balls and said, "Problem solved." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 768

You deserved it 3 788

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Same thing different taste

By you ripped them off ages ago - 17/08/2014 06:15 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, a few minutes after giving birth to our fourth child, my wife pulled me close and whispered, "I love you, but if you ever put me through that again I'll rip your balls off." Everyone laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 062

You deserved it 16 333

Deflection

By Richard - 25/06/2012 03:03 - United States - Uxbridge

Today, I was talking with my wife of five years, and I gave her a few hints about wanting kids. After our talk, she looked at me completely serious and said, "Yeah yeah, kids are great and all, but can't we just get you a dog?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 493

You deserved it 6 201

Wakey Wakey!

By Anonymous - 15/10/2019 04:00

Today, my girlfriend woke me up by punching me in the balls. It’s OK, I didn’t want kids anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 556

You deserved it 198

Broken equipment

By Anonymous - 21/08/2020 07:08 - United Kingdom - Stockport

Today, my girlfriend and I had an argument about wanting kids, as I want to have kids but she doesn’t. I explained the situation to my sister. She just kicked me in the nuts and said, “There, problem solved.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 587

You deserved it 471

By Xandar - 09/11/2018 17:30

Today, I was told by my wife that we were going to be parents. We are both females. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 456

You deserved it 520

By Anonymous - 31/10/2015 07:19 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She got incredibly excited and started flapping her hands around. Then she suddenly went deadpan and said "But seriously... no." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 997

You deserved it 1 912

Time to run

By wastedtime - 13/09/2020 10:57 - United States

Today, things were going great with my girlfriend of six months. She knew I had kids and it seemed to be getting serious, so I decided to introduce her to them. After dinner, I walked her to her car and she said, "That’s real nice but what are you going to do with them once you and I have kids?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 586

You deserved it 222

By wow - 15/04/2013 18:36 - Russian Federation - Saint Petersburg

Today, my husband of 6 years said in a grave voice that he had some important news for me. Jokingly, I said, "Why, did you get that cute colleague of yours pregnant?" He did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 964

You deserved it 6 739

Too late

By Anonymous - 16/07/2023 03:00

Today, my husband told me he'd changed his mind and no longer wants children. We already have two kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 876

You deserved it 139

Rollercoaster

By Anonymous - 05/03/2010 12:54 - United States

Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 716

You deserved it 3 659

mpj13 8

Wednesday 20 June 2012 22:51

It's not really solved

Principessa101 20

Wednesday 20 June 2012 22:52

You didn't discuss wanting children before you got married?

Comments

vhivfe 3

Monday 25 June 2012 23:18

I don't blame her. I would have have done the same so YDI It's for the best

wilddun 1

Tuesday 26 June 2012 20:42

Divorce is probably the best solution. Or you can decide you actually love your wife and not love the idea of a broodmare for your children and get snipped.

StrawberryFlesh 1

Tuesday 26 June 2012 22:36

Your wife is a smart woman. Too smart for you. Go find a broodmare to knock up.

brhu 5

Wednesday 27 June 2012 1:35

I just saw the exact same scenario in a Cyanide & Happiness comic from June 9th, 2007. Except she kicked rather than flicked.

TofuSpaceships 3

Saturday 30 June 2012 4:18

Well it's not like the C&H comics are completely impossible events that could never, ever, ever happen in the real world.

rkzemke 3

Friday 29 June 2012 0:03

Haha, your wife sounds pretty funny though.

TrueFG 2

Tuesday 3 July 2012 7:42

Then people wonder what makes husbands kill their wives. =

crazy4books23 13

Thursday 4 October 2012 8:23

Think about it. We women have to carry the kid around inside us for nine months. We will get the back pain and morning sickness, the labor and birth. What do you men do during those nine long months?

Celestia1982 5

Thursday 6 March 2014 6:21

Wow...why the hell did this guy deserve getting hit in the balls for telling his WIFE that he'd like to have children? She seems like a bitch to me. Children are a normal product of marriage, I don't think he was out of line bringing it up to her. She's the one that needs to be smacked.

6demon6spawn6 12

Friday 30 May 2014 16:45

why are you with her?

furubafan74 18

Friday 4 July 2014 20:52

Why wouldn't you have discussed this while you two were still dating? Whether or not someone wants kids is something you should know *before* you make the legal commitment.