Animals: Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds...

By Locked Out - 14/05/2013 19:11 - United States

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds had made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 770

You deserved it 3 544

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Same thing different taste

By ByeByeBirdie - 29/06/2016 22:41 - United States - Montgomery

Today, I'd had enough of the annoying bird constantly singing in the shrillest bird voice possible outside of my window, so I chased it around the yard, shooing it away, as my cat sat there and watched. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 746

You deserved it 1 817

By Anonymous - 30/04/2015 02:08 - United States - Gardnerville

Today, I found the eggshells from the nest belonging to the little bird that lives outside my house. They were covered in blood and it was quite obvious that they had been eaten. While I was looking at them, the mother bird came over and attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 979

You deserved it 3 581

By xacked - 02/06/2009 06:39 - United States

Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking there and the bird attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 433

You deserved it 61 670

By Anonymous - 09/08/2009 04:22 - United States

Today, I found out that when you chase a couple of squirrels off your porch for irritating your dogs, sometimes they chase you back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 457

You deserved it 15 027

Invasion

By Anonymous - 26/08/2020 14:01 - United States

Today, I went to clean my roof when something buzzed by my head and a sting hit my neck. It turns out there's a small nest of, like, five hornets just chilling outside of my window. I found a dead one on the desk in my bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 247

You deserved it 127

Directed by Alfred Hitchcock

By EyupItsLucas - 24/03/2020 13:35

Today, there’s been birds nesting in my wall since mid winter. They’ve recently started scratching at the wall as if they wanted to get through. This morning, they made their entrance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 505

You deserved it 284

By birdsterrifyme - 23/03/2015 04:42 - United States - Sikeston

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 166

You deserved it 4 374

By 4am blues - 13/07/2015 04:39 - United States - Lehigh Acres

Today, my cat thought it was appropriate to bring a bird into the house at 4 a.m.; the bird thought it was appropriate to attack my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 338

You deserved it 2 564

Suspicious minds

By abusedparrot - 24/08/2014 12:40 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, the police knocked on my door, saying that they needed to investigate my house for animal abuse. Apparently the neighbours called, reporting a "screeching bird in pain". I have no bird, but I have been singing quite loudly recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 258

You deserved it 6 137

Awwww, how sweet!

By Justin - 25/07/2020 20:00

Today, after having a 3-day vacation and feeling a bit bummed that it was over, I got home to find a black widow watching her babies hatch in my office window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 409

You deserved it 145

HowAreYouToday 34

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:00

Angry birds IRL.

Zebediabolical 39

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:01

Get the pigs to help you out!

Comments

noelasis94 18

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:18

You are the chosen one my friend, embrace your new found power.

DDCA 24

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:23

Borrow your neighbor's cat.

stormchaser24 24

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:28

I had a similar problem, I was doing yard work and was attacked by two brown thrashers. I was about 10 feet from the nest. Maybe use the another door for 2-3 weeks.

Kiki242 19

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:34

Bebe gun time.

perdix 29

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:42

There's no such thing as a gun to shoot French babies.

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 15 May 2013 1:19

I read "Bebe" like it was "Bebe's kids" "We don't die, we multiply!"

flockz 19

Wednesday 15 May 2013 2:14

the Bebe store sells women's clothing, not guns. what are you implying?

perdix 29

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:37

You can build an effective scarecrow out of a blow-up doll. (Don't ask me how I know ;) ) To get rid of the birds, just do that "The Wizard of Oz" song, "If I Only Had a Rubber ******."

gurly98 13

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:39

Cause you make me feeeeeel like, I've been Locked out of Heeeaaaven, For too loooooooooong For too loooooooooong If you thumbs this down, you would have absolutely no idea how this song realates to this FML.

GrammarNazis 6

Wednesday 15 May 2013 1:30

Then I guess I don't know how they relate to each other, nor do (number of people who have thumbed this down) people.

ohjoy15 33

Tuesday 4 June 2013 19:43

@#35 I think 22 was attempting to make a reference to OP's username. It didn't work though... At all...

xALEXx_fml 15

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:45

Attack them back!

CalamityJane2 5

Wednesday 15 May 2013 0:57

The same thing happened to me at my house! Only it was really sad and my dad had to remove the nest and unfourtunately the eggs smashed on the ground:(